thoughts

[lostdreamer02]

i hate the way i cant let things go
i hate the way i look
i hate the way i feel most of the time
i hate the way people think of me
i hate the way people judge me
i hate the way people think they know me

i'm afraid of spiders
i'm afraid of judgement
i'm afraid of letting go
i'm afraid to move on

i love getting flowers
i love being hugged
i love having someone there for me
i love being with my friends
i love being alive
i love eating candy
i love God

i miss my friends
i miss camp
i miss the way everything used to be
i miss the ocean breeze
i miss the peace and quiet
i miss being able to stare at the stars
i miss being next to the ones i care for

i dont really let people get to know me
only because i'm afraid of what they might think of me.

i'm afraid of letting myself be me because i might get embaresses
or made fun of.

i feel like i dont have time to change things
i talk to much and i hate that
i hate how people tell me
i dont kno what bad family life is.

no one really knows everything about me
yet they judge me like they know my whole
life story. no one, not one person knows everything.

i'm still waiting for the one person i feel i can trust the most
with everything there is to talk about
everytime i think i get close to finding that person
they do something that messes it up
and i hate that.