(laying on bed) 09-11-05/12:39am
Well, last night wasn't as fun as I had hoped. We, (Shiloh, Scott, Elyse and I) went over to Patrick's sans drugs. So we got some alcohol instead. After a couple of shots I was feeling pretty nice. We then decidedto go down to his humongous backyard for pre-planned bonfire. On the way down I tripped in his backyard and sprained my ankle. After a couple more shots of vodka I didn't even feel it anymore.
So we were sitting around the fire bullshitting for a while. Elyse left, and Patrick started getting in a mood. I was sitting on the log next to him. I can't remember what he was saying exactly, but he was starting to piss me off, so I started laying into him. Well, things soon escalated, and he said something really shitty. I walked off back up into his house because it was either walk off or hit him.
After I got back inside his basement I got a horrible flashback about an argument I had with Gary. It was so strong and so sudden I just sat down and started crying. I kinda admit that I was hiding. Shortly after I got in there Scott walked right past me and didn't see me, then Patrick followed by Shiloh. I went right back outside the back door with them thinking I was inside. I spent a good half an hour wandering around backyards feeling sorry for myself till I went back. By the time I got back to his house I was furious. I took it out on him, then another wave of rememberance hit me, and I collapsed on his driveway in a sobbing heap.
Okay, I'm done writing about this.
So we were sitting around the fire bullshitting for a while. Elyse left, and Patrick started getting in a mood. I was sitting on the log next to him. I can't remember what he was saying exactly, but he was starting to piss me off, so I started laying into him. Well, things soon escalated, and he said something really shitty. I walked off back up into his house because it was either walk off or hit him.
After I got back inside his basement I got a horrible flashback about an argument I had with Gary. It was so strong and so sudden I just sat down and started crying. I kinda admit that I was hiding. Shortly after I got in there Scott walked right past me and didn't see me, then Patrick followed by Shiloh. I went right back outside the back door with them thinking I was inside. I spent a good half an hour wandering around backyards feeling sorry for myself till I went back. By the time I got back to his house I was furious. I took it out on him, then another wave of rememberance hit me, and I collapsed on his driveway in a sobbing heap.
Okay, I'm done writing about this.