All I wanna do is watch the Wind Blow By
This has been a bad day I'm afraid. Made worse because I have to pretend that everything is great. It's bumming me out. I'm not trying to be a killjoy, really I'm not, I'd prefer to have a good day. Just a number of things and people have happened to keep me from having that sorta day. I've come to realize that I'm loosing myself. I truely have so many jobs/classes/homework etc going on that I'm loosing touch with any sort of personality or identity. Its really scary to think about. My interests have all been sidelined, as have most of, I'm afriad to say, my friends, my relationships and my self. I rarely practice any musical instrument anymore and I havent painted a complete painting in months. If you know me, you know thats kinda crazy. Ahha, and now Steph wants me to paint her one for christmas, I dont think she knows quite what shes asking for. I wonder if putting myself through all this crap to go to a 'good college' so I can get a 'good job' is worth it. I dont so much want a good job as an exciting job. People laugh at me when I suggest myself in the Army/Navy/Marines, but seriously the 'exitement' has me, I think I would truely enjoy myself, doing something differnt every day. To bad its not like the recruitment commercials and everyone doesnt get there own aircraft carier. That would be wicked awesome. I dont think I'm one of those people who like needs to find their own Walden or anything, but I feel like somethings missing, maybe this is how I need to be right now.