i've made a few observations today
i hate these moods. these livejournal moods. becaues they are always the "lauren is upset and wants to express her feelings on her love life" moods.
it must seem like i ALWAYS am a downer, because every time i post a journal it is about the same thing, but really if you look at the time gap between entrees, thats a lot of time where i'm not complaining.
anyways, i have noticed a few patterns regarding my relationships.
If someone likes me and i dont like them back, we tend to become really good friends.
If someone likes me and i DO like them back, they tend to lose interest very quickly, and lose interest in a friendship as well.
If someone doesn't like me and I like them, we tend to never become friends or anything it just stays at that.
obviously, i'm ok with being friends with people who liek me and i'm kinda ok with not being friends with people who dont like me, but what bugs me is how i can't seem to stay friends with people after they don't like me anymore.
enough said about that subject... moving on...
why is it that it is so hard to trust people?
or that things always get blown out of proportion?
or that saying one stupid little thing can get translated into you saying some huge important life-altering thing that you didnt say at all but there is no way to proove you didnt say that because the only person you said it to was the one who told someone else that you said something else? its like words are a bad thing even if you don't use them badly, because other people can use their own words and say that you said them.
it sucks when you tell someone something in confidence, not even realizing how they will take it, just as regular conversation.
then they go and tell someone else, only they stretch what you say into something negative
then that person who you dont even know tells another person only they stretch it even more so that its something REALLY negative that you said
then the person that they told asks who told them that, and they tell that person it was you.
so then this person gets all ridiculously mad at you for something that you had no intention whatsoever of doing or saying it is all one huge big blown out of proportion mess that you never meant to happen. and you try to apologize for something you didnt even do, but they don't believe your apology because they think that you said this horrible thing, which you didn't. so one person is totally mad at you all because someone told him something that you told them in confidence, and all you really want to do is get mad at the person who told them because it was a shitty thing to do, but then that is kind of being a hypocrite because you should have told them in the first place. so someone is getting mad at you for something you didnt mean to do but you cant get mad at someone else for something that they didnt mean to do.
so then its all locked up inside you and you take your frustration out on F-ing livejournal. and its a mess of confusion that nobody is able to understand but yourself.
and then i'm sure people read it and think "oh my gosh was she talking about me" or "oh my gosh is she mad at me" or whatever and the answer is no i'm not talking abotu you and no i'm not mad at you and i thinkt he best solution is to just never ever ever talk about anyone ever agian.
and we all know thats not gonna happen
-----
and the third subject of one of my confusing thoughts of the night:
it sucks when you know the most perfect person ever. because they are not just perfect to you, they are perfect to everyone. so you are just 1 in about a million who think they are perfect and why in hell would they even think to notice you when you are one out of a million people to them.
whew. this is what happens when you give lauren a weekend.
it must seem like i ALWAYS am a downer, because every time i post a journal it is about the same thing, but really if you look at the time gap between entrees, thats a lot of time where i'm not complaining.
anyways, i have noticed a few patterns regarding my relationships.
If someone likes me and i dont like them back, we tend to become really good friends.
If someone likes me and i DO like them back, they tend to lose interest very quickly, and lose interest in a friendship as well.
If someone doesn't like me and I like them, we tend to never become friends or anything it just stays at that.
obviously, i'm ok with being friends with people who liek me and i'm kinda ok with not being friends with people who dont like me, but what bugs me is how i can't seem to stay friends with people after they don't like me anymore.
enough said about that subject... moving on...
why is it that it is so hard to trust people?
or that things always get blown out of proportion?
or that saying one stupid little thing can get translated into you saying some huge important life-altering thing that you didnt say at all but there is no way to proove you didnt say that because the only person you said it to was the one who told someone else that you said something else? its like words are a bad thing even if you don't use them badly, because other people can use their own words and say that you said them.
it sucks when you tell someone something in confidence, not even realizing how they will take it, just as regular conversation.
then they go and tell someone else, only they stretch what you say into something negative
then that person who you dont even know tells another person only they stretch it even more so that its something REALLY negative that you said
then the person that they told asks who told them that, and they tell that person it was you.
so then this person gets all ridiculously mad at you for something that you had no intention whatsoever of doing or saying it is all one huge big blown out of proportion mess that you never meant to happen. and you try to apologize for something you didnt even do, but they don't believe your apology because they think that you said this horrible thing, which you didn't. so one person is totally mad at you all because someone told him something that you told them in confidence, and all you really want to do is get mad at the person who told them because it was a shitty thing to do, but then that is kind of being a hypocrite because you should have told them in the first place. so someone is getting mad at you for something you didnt mean to do but you cant get mad at someone else for something that they didnt mean to do.
so then its all locked up inside you and you take your frustration out on F-ing livejournal. and its a mess of confusion that nobody is able to understand but yourself.
and then i'm sure people read it and think "oh my gosh was she talking about me" or "oh my gosh is she mad at me" or whatever and the answer is no i'm not talking abotu you and no i'm not mad at you and i thinkt he best solution is to just never ever ever talk about anyone ever agian.
and we all know thats not gonna happen
-----
and the third subject of one of my confusing thoughts of the night:
it sucks when you know the most perfect person ever. because they are not just perfect to you, they are perfect to everyone. so you are just 1 in about a million who think they are perfect and why in hell would they even think to notice you when you are one out of a million people to them.
whew. this is what happens when you give lauren a weekend.