just some rambling
i used to write in a diary. every day from the first day of junior high to just about the middle of last year. I just stopped. and i'd write in it like once a month and then all of the sudden i stopped and havent written in it since.
so today i was thinking that i should write in it again, but i never actually got to it. there are so many things that i want to say and i want to have written down, but what is the point if nobody is going to read it? so i figure, ok, well then write in here. well yeah not many people read this either but some people do and that gives me a limit because i can't say things that i know people could read. i dont know i think i need someone to talk to. that i can trust. that actually wants to listen.
ive been feeling like that alot lately. like just talking. i used to have people that i would talk to alot for long periods of time but i dont anymore. i mean there are a few people i talk to but its not really like.. deep, i guess. its just kind of talking on the surface.
i guess im not satisfied. there's nothing wrong really its just everything feels so plain and empty. i was looking at houses today with my mom and it made me really want to move, but then i went back home and didnt want to ever leave my room. i kind of just wish i knew what i wanted. i know i'm not satisfied with myself or with school or my relationships with people but i dont know how to change them and i dont know what i want to change about them. i dont even know what i'm trying to say. maybe i should start writing in my diary again.
so today i was thinking that i should write in it again, but i never actually got to it. there are so many things that i want to say and i want to have written down, but what is the point if nobody is going to read it? so i figure, ok, well then write in here. well yeah not many people read this either but some people do and that gives me a limit because i can't say things that i know people could read. i dont know i think i need someone to talk to. that i can trust. that actually wants to listen.
ive been feeling like that alot lately. like just talking. i used to have people that i would talk to alot for long periods of time but i dont anymore. i mean there are a few people i talk to but its not really like.. deep, i guess. its just kind of talking on the surface.
i guess im not satisfied. there's nothing wrong really its just everything feels so plain and empty. i was looking at houses today with my mom and it made me really want to move, but then i went back home and didnt want to ever leave my room. i kind of just wish i knew what i wanted. i know i'm not satisfied with myself or with school or my relationships with people but i dont know how to change them and i dont know what i want to change about them. i dont even know what i'm trying to say. maybe i should start writing in my diary again.