THIS IS MY RANT BITCHES!
So I need to rant. big time. things in my life right now are getting really shitty and I just need to let it all hang out. I wish that I could just trade lives with someone sometimes. there is just one thing thats preventing me from giving it all up. TJ was right in one of his most recent lj entries. nothing is like waking up next to the one you love. it just makes everything thats wrong seem right again. so thank you tj.
Things that are wrong:
My roomate. We were getting along so nicely until the guy that she was/is dating just randomly stopped talking to her. he was one of my good friends and i introduced them, so i feel partly responsible, but she still shouldn't take out her agressions on me. i didn't do anything wrong, even if i feel like i did. i can't help it if the fact that I have a heathy relationship, where my man wants to not only talkt to me but see me, makes her jealous. kyle likes to come see me. this week his mom is out of town and gave him permission to see me like every day. so he drives me back up here on sunday and spends the night, and she has the gall to accuse me of keeping her up all night cuz kyle and i were fooling around. there is only one problem with this: we felt bad cuz of her situation with her bf, so we decided to be good that night and just go to sleep. SO I DON"T KNOW WTF SHE HEARD TO KEEP HER AWAKE BUT IT WASN'T ME! she called me a liar and said that it was all my fault. that, as most people know, is one of my biggest peeves, so I'm furious with her. here i was trying to be nice and good, and she has the gall to call me a liar? well shes just a selfish bitch if you ask me. she also said that he can only come up here to spend the night on weekends from now till finals. the amount of time i get to see my bf should not be determined by how happy she is with the men in her life.
My dad. Hes getting sicker by the day. hes much clumsier now. this weekend he fell down the basement stairs. i'm almost positive now that he has ALS (Lou Gherrigs dease: which is a deterioration of the nerves and eventually leads to death within ten years). he keeps falling down all the time, and his speach is getting worse. i'm really worried about him. i don't know how to react to it all either. i dont know whether to get emotional now, or to save my energy and work through it, and get emotional when he gets really really sick. I just don't know what to do. i sometimes want to just pretend like everything was the way it was two years ago, before any of this happened.
My friends. The problem here is that I have little time for them. school is actually going good for me right now. i'm caught up on all my homework all the way to thursday almost. i'm a little worried about the midterms I have next week thought. i work every saturday down in bham now that I lost my job up here. I have virtually no time to spend with all the people that I love. I want to come home this weekend and just hang out with my friends, but It would have to be on friday only. Anyone interested in going to a huanted house and getting drunk on friday? I just want to see everyone that I can when I come home.
My dreams. I don't think that I know what are mine and what are the ones that other people are giving me anymore. I just want to do something that I love, but I'm confused as to what that is and how to get it. I need to look closer at what I want to do with my life without all the outside voices butting in.
Anyway. There is probably more to rant about, but I have to go to class. love you all. hope everything is going ok in your lives.
Kristen
Things that are wrong:
My roomate. We were getting along so nicely until the guy that she was/is dating just randomly stopped talking to her. he was one of my good friends and i introduced them, so i feel partly responsible, but she still shouldn't take out her agressions on me. i didn't do anything wrong, even if i feel like i did. i can't help it if the fact that I have a heathy relationship, where my man wants to not only talkt to me but see me, makes her jealous. kyle likes to come see me. this week his mom is out of town and gave him permission to see me like every day. so he drives me back up here on sunday and spends the night, and she has the gall to accuse me of keeping her up all night cuz kyle and i were fooling around. there is only one problem with this: we felt bad cuz of her situation with her bf, so we decided to be good that night and just go to sleep. SO I DON"T KNOW WTF SHE HEARD TO KEEP HER AWAKE BUT IT WASN'T ME! she called me a liar and said that it was all my fault. that, as most people know, is one of my biggest peeves, so I'm furious with her. here i was trying to be nice and good, and she has the gall to call me a liar? well shes just a selfish bitch if you ask me. she also said that he can only come up here to spend the night on weekends from now till finals. the amount of time i get to see my bf should not be determined by how happy she is with the men in her life.
My dad. Hes getting sicker by the day. hes much clumsier now. this weekend he fell down the basement stairs. i'm almost positive now that he has ALS (Lou Gherrigs dease: which is a deterioration of the nerves and eventually leads to death within ten years). he keeps falling down all the time, and his speach is getting worse. i'm really worried about him. i don't know how to react to it all either. i dont know whether to get emotional now, or to save my energy and work through it, and get emotional when he gets really really sick. I just don't know what to do. i sometimes want to just pretend like everything was the way it was two years ago, before any of this happened.
My friends. The problem here is that I have little time for them. school is actually going good for me right now. i'm caught up on all my homework all the way to thursday almost. i'm a little worried about the midterms I have next week thought. i work every saturday down in bham now that I lost my job up here. I have virtually no time to spend with all the people that I love. I want to come home this weekend and just hang out with my friends, but It would have to be on friday only. Anyone interested in going to a huanted house and getting drunk on friday? I just want to see everyone that I can when I come home.
My dreams. I don't think that I know what are mine and what are the ones that other people are giving me anymore. I just want to do something that I love, but I'm confused as to what that is and how to get it. I need to look closer at what I want to do with my life without all the outside voices butting in.
Anyway. There is probably more to rant about, but I have to go to class. love you all. hope everything is going ok in your lives.
Kristen