i won't give everything away
Sometimes I get tired of being the mopey girl with the broken heart.That hides behind her drinking and drugs so no one sees me cry.Drunken ramblings.Someone once told me that was what I wrote in here.Yep pretty much.I sit here and ponder my life without the asshole that fucked me over.And I can't even imagine who will fill that place.If I didn't have my job I would go crazy.If i didn't have all the new people I've met at work I've would have drowned.I did make it for one month sober,it sucked.I don't wanna think I don't wanna feel I don't wanna feel.I don't wanna feel what's inside.Inside it's pitch black and screaming for you.You who hurt me and you were never right for me but I still need you.I'm making it these last days withut you.Afraid I'll hurt her ,afraid I'll mess up something good you have afraid someone will know we still talk so you told me to delete you.I DID..something missing something left behind.I gave up my beliefs for you.What did you give up for me?The strip clubs?I keep writing this like he's gonna keep reading it.Even when he read it, he was afraid someone would think he was an asshole.Three years and nothing but hate.But I am strong I will move on without show of fear.I am better without that cracker.I couldn't even watch cartoons on adult swim without being called childish well fuck you.I couldn't blow bubbles for the pure joy of it without being afraid what you will think.Fuck you and that bitch you told me nothing would ever happen between ya'll.but you were afraid of her seeing me for fear it would hurt her.What the fuck about me.What the fuck about the one your fucking?What about me,you told me you aways saw yourself marrying me.I guess not I guess I didn't love sports too much,guess I didn't bend to your will enough.I gave you my beliefs!!!Motherfucker I gave you my beliefs.You don't know how I died that night.That was all of me.Who I was I lived and breathed what was in my heart but you asked for me to be you.I fear I can never get that part of me back but I will try my hardest.Just so I can spit in your face.Just so I can live life with all thast I have and nothing I have will ever be as low as your scum ass.Until then here I will be living in the past,hating you.Sweet dreams my loves.