Today was almost the end of me.

[lostandlonely5]

I saw an awesome show, butch walker. But I felt down the whole time. I keep dreaming of Josh, and Amy leaving me. Then my dad was an asshole all because I asked him to turn down the music. Then I saw how Amy took me off her top 8, which normally wouldn't bother me, but I feel like she's erasing me from her life. As if what we had was nothing...

Then I really started feeling down. I feel trapped, nothing changes in my life. It's always the same depressing thing everyday. No matter how hard I try to fix it. I really want to blow my brains out, or OD right now.

I won't...

But I want to.