One holiday down, one to go.
I can't really remember when I started not caring about the holiday anymore. There was a point and time in life when I really loved being with friends, family and that special person in my life. Now, I have total dread of everything associated with Thanksgiving and Christmas. I no longer care to decorate and spend time with loved ones and prefer to be completely left alone. Perhaps if we turn off the christmas music, don't decorate, leave the tree down and don't wrap any gifts then maybe it won't happen. If you don't acknowledge someone or something, they get the hint and go away so why couldn't we do that with Thanksgiving and Christmas?? I would totally be up for giving it a shot if anyone else is game?? I honestly have tried to give it a good try though, I have been listening to Christmas music and spent time with those I love and even have 3 ft light up Santa Clauses sitting in my living room waiting to be placed on my front porch but am not motivated to put them out. I don't believe in chirstmas mircales or holiday magic and my spirit is all dried up this year. I haven't had a good Christmas in a long, long time when I just really couldn't wait to go xmas shopping and for the snow to fall and to go get the "perfect" tree. It seems like someone has punched a straw into my heart and soul and proceeded to suck the very being from my body. I suppose with all this bleak, lonely, sad feeling I have inside me toward the holidays that some crazy guy is going to show up and force me to be visited by three ghosts or make me watch my life without me in it blah, blah, blah. If this would happen to me then I am totally not getting out of bed and the ghost will just have to stick it b/c I probably won't be in the mood for it. The one thing that would restore even the smallest ounce of faith in the "christmas magic" would be for Joe to come to Columbus from Chicago and spend a whole weekend with me for my xmas gift. Perhaps, I might even find my way to Chicago this month to see Joe and spend a weekend with him, getting to reknow Chicago and going out for somefun. It would be strange to be back there again seeing I haven't been back there since May. Hell it might throw me into a panic attack!! who knows?? I will keep you updated though. Peace to you all.