I can has tumblr?

[lostakasha]

Finally signed up on tumblr to try and keep a journal of our relocation to San Francisco! And other weirdness. Probably NSFW from time to time, knowing me!

If you'd like to please, please follow me there

Comments

[sinkwriter]

It's gorgeous. You did an amazing job on that banner. *tips graphic hat*

Question: do I have to join Tumblr in order to follow you? *GRIN* No judging, just asking. You're one of the few that I would want to read and follow, were I to join. ;)

If I may say so, this really got to me:

I do my best to give mom the details without chafing at her phrasing. Not one for nuance, her queries hit me like bricks that I’m tempted to volley back twice as hard. Which, of course, I did for many years until something in me finally broke and I realized I was lobbing bricks at a worn, tired and perpetually disappointed woman who loved me wholly (and, I suspect, despite herself) and deserved so much more than her own sadness thrown back in her face. Chalk it up to growing older, maybe following the Dalai Lama on Twitter, or just having had enough therapy. I don’t really know. What I do know is that I think before I speak to her for the first time in 20 years. And it helps us both.

You're amazing, because I know how incredibly difficult that is. I'm still working on learning that, in therapy. This week my therapist called me 'fucking judgmental' in regard to something I said about a family member, and while that really hurt, underneath it all his meaing struck a chord with me because what he went on to say was, Why worry so much about their behavior? Why not realize that if they can't realize that their behavior is what's ruining relationships, then that's their problem. All I can control is my own reaction. All I can say is, 'If that's how you're handling it, that's up to you, but I choose not to participate.' I'm starting to 'get' that now, but I'm not quite there yet, because my first reaction to him trying to convey all that to me in therapy was for me to say, "But I have to at least TRY to communicate with this other person, to let them know that they're being ridiculous or hurtful. Maybe they don't realize it and they'd adjust accordingly if I just said it the right way." But the truth is, it may not matter no matter how I say it. I just have to stop wanting so badly to fix things. But I'm not there yet.

So I salute you so hard for all the work you've been doing and the journey you're undertaking, not just with your mom but in traveling to California and starting something new there. I think it's wonderful and you and D are brave and brilliant. Good for you. :)

xoxo