(no subject)
My family is being torn apart slowly but surely. My mom means the world to me. I appreciate everything she does for me and I communicate this concept to her, both verbally and nonverbally, as often as possible now.
I guess it's time for ME to said what I have to say. I don't care that she is going to read this. I don't care who reads it.
I don't blame my sister for wanting to know about her biological family. To me, that is completely understandable. I understand the fact that she is not my blood, but never to this day have I felt that she was not, in every sense of the word, my sister. I respect her curiosity and her right to know her biological family. However, lately, it is, for the lack of a better word, insulting that her biological family and her boyfriend have taken precedence over the family she had come to know as her family. I understand that she has a busy schedule and I respect and admire her for working as hard as she does. However, I see her once in a blue moon and never hear from her. When she first went off to college, I remember talking with her online frequently. After she got settled into college and actually liked attending it, I think communication began to cease slowly. I go for months at a time without seeing or hearing from her. If it wasn't for LiveJournal, I don't think either of us would know the other was still alive.
I always looked up to my sister even though sometimes her "the world revolves around me" attitude frustrated me to no end. I accepted (but never submitted to) the theory that it's Kristen's way or the highway. No one can deny that this is how Kristen is and if they try to claim it as a falsehood, they are terrible liars. I think, as of late, her behavor has definitely been less than desirable. Ever since Kristen really got into psychology, she has changed drastically. I hate that she and John try to psychoanalyze everyone in every situation. Neither of them, no matter what the text books say, TRULY know how we (or anyone else) feels at any given time. This is especially true in this whole adoption situation. My mother does NOT need a book, counselor, or a support group to tell her how to deal with a situation. She HAS her own support group and she does not have to make an appointment with them to talk because she lives in the same house as they do. We may not be experts, but it is ridiculous (and almost humorous) to assume that because my mom is hurt by this situation that she needs professional help to deal with it. It may have been a suggestion, but Kristen hasn't really seen how mom is reacting. She is dealing just fine. My mom is one of the strongest, if not THE strongest, woman I have ever known. I respect beyond comprehension and know that she can get through any situation without the help of a book. She will get through everything just fine.
Anyways, back to this situation. As I said before, I understand why Kristen wanted to find out who her biological parents are, but I cannot help but feel neglected. Since she found Mary, almost everyone else has taken a back seat. That bothers me beyond all comprehension. I completely understand that she is interested in Mary, but it almost seems as though we are just second best now that she has the "real" thing. In all honesty, I thought we were the "real" thing to her.
I don't agree with the fact that she hides behind e-mails and phone calls. She should see how my mother reacts and realize (if she hasn't already) what this has done to mom. While I don't blame Kristen for researching her past, I don't blame my mom for reacting the way she is. I also don't think hiding certain things from mom is right either. If it weren't for my slip (I assumed Kristen had told her such an important piece of information), mom wouldn't know that Mary and Kristen even met. I think Kristen sometimes let's her fear take over and therefore is dishonest to mom. Which is really.
My mother is amazing. She has done everything for all three of us and all things considered, we have all turned out wonderfully. She is everything a mother should be and more. Anyone who disagrees is welcomed to talk to me because there is NO way you will win that fight. It would be a waste of anyone's time to try to argue that fact with me.
So Kristen, if this upset you, I apologize for that. However, I do no apologize for speaking my mind and welcome anything that you may have to say in reply. But stop making mom out to be the bad guy when every member of your little "triad" is involved and in some way, responsible for the situation at hand.
I guess it's time for ME to said what I have to say. I don't care that she is going to read this. I don't care who reads it.
I don't blame my sister for wanting to know about her biological family. To me, that is completely understandable. I understand the fact that she is not my blood, but never to this day have I felt that she was not, in every sense of the word, my sister. I respect her curiosity and her right to know her biological family. However, lately, it is, for the lack of a better word, insulting that her biological family and her boyfriend have taken precedence over the family she had come to know as her family. I understand that she has a busy schedule and I respect and admire her for working as hard as she does. However, I see her once in a blue moon and never hear from her. When she first went off to college, I remember talking with her online frequently. After she got settled into college and actually liked attending it, I think communication began to cease slowly. I go for months at a time without seeing or hearing from her. If it wasn't for LiveJournal, I don't think either of us would know the other was still alive.
I always looked up to my sister even though sometimes her "the world revolves around me" attitude frustrated me to no end. I accepted (but never submitted to) the theory that it's Kristen's way or the highway. No one can deny that this is how Kristen is and if they try to claim it as a falsehood, they are terrible liars. I think, as of late, her behavor has definitely been less than desirable. Ever since Kristen really got into psychology, she has changed drastically. I hate that she and John try to psychoanalyze everyone in every situation. Neither of them, no matter what the text books say, TRULY know how we (or anyone else) feels at any given time. This is especially true in this whole adoption situation. My mother does NOT need a book, counselor, or a support group to tell her how to deal with a situation. She HAS her own support group and she does not have to make an appointment with them to talk because she lives in the same house as they do. We may not be experts, but it is ridiculous (and almost humorous) to assume that because my mom is hurt by this situation that she needs professional help to deal with it. It may have been a suggestion, but Kristen hasn't really seen how mom is reacting. She is dealing just fine. My mom is one of the strongest, if not THE strongest, woman I have ever known. I respect beyond comprehension and know that she can get through any situation without the help of a book. She will get through everything just fine.
Anyways, back to this situation. As I said before, I understand why Kristen wanted to find out who her biological parents are, but I cannot help but feel neglected. Since she found Mary, almost everyone else has taken a back seat. That bothers me beyond all comprehension. I completely understand that she is interested in Mary, but it almost seems as though we are just second best now that she has the "real" thing. In all honesty, I thought we were the "real" thing to her.
I don't agree with the fact that she hides behind e-mails and phone calls. She should see how my mother reacts and realize (if she hasn't already) what this has done to mom. While I don't blame Kristen for researching her past, I don't blame my mom for reacting the way she is. I also don't think hiding certain things from mom is right either. If it weren't for my slip (I assumed Kristen had told her such an important piece of information), mom wouldn't know that Mary and Kristen even met. I think Kristen sometimes let's her fear take over and therefore is dishonest to mom. Which is really.
My mother is amazing. She has done everything for all three of us and all things considered, we have all turned out wonderfully. She is everything a mother should be and more. Anyone who disagrees is welcomed to talk to me because there is NO way you will win that fight. It would be a waste of anyone's time to try to argue that fact with me.
So Kristen, if this upset you, I apologize for that. However, I do no apologize for speaking my mind and welcome anything that you may have to say in reply. But stop making mom out to be the bad guy when every member of your little "triad" is involved and in some way, responsible for the situation at hand.