Between here and there
I'm so lazy and I think it's the weed. My room has looked the same for the past 2 1/2 months. My stuff is still in storage and I seem to be spending more money than saving. I have been going out a lot and think alcohol has entered my body everyday for the past month or so. But I feel as though I can't accomplish anything anymore. Why do I spend hours and hours on the internet? I should be doing so many other things and never seem to get around to doing those things. I've decided a break from drinking would be most ideal. Next break is from weed, I smoke too much and need to cut back. What I really want is to have more motivation to clean, work out, focus on school&work, getting things done and saving up to move out. Not that I don't enjoy going out and hanging with friends, but I feel like it holds me back from getting things done. I hold myself back by going out and not taking care of business. Now I have no car for one week cause the auto place is taking so long fixing my car. Without a car I am so incompetent. I need to kick my butt back into shape.
Anyways, I've been seeing this guy Robert. He's 25 and lives in whittier by pico....but I don't know yet. I brought him to CA Adventure for my birthday and have been hanging out with him separate from my friends and co-workers. He actually works for best buy, on the project team&it's a graveyard job. So I see him on the weekends, and things are good when we hang out. I have not had anything go farther than it should go because I'm trying to get to know him. When I'm with him I think I like him a lot, but when I go home and he doesn't talk to me much during the week it makes me wonder and question the whole thing. So as of right now I think I'm going to stop trying and see if the efforts on him. I don't like chasing guys and would rather be by myself. Although I am so lonely it's something I'd pick over wondering&getting emotionally hurt from liking someone. I am so scared to be in a relationship and commitment/settling. I guess I just don't trust/believe in anyone. My faith in guys is pretty much shattered and I haven't reached my single life for a year yet. It's been barely 8 months and I'm nowhere near having a boyfriend. What I really want is just someone who will take the time to get to know me. Best friends first....too bad those things don't happen to me and it makes me want to leave california even more.
Anyways, I've been seeing this guy Robert. He's 25 and lives in whittier by pico....but I don't know yet. I brought him to CA Adventure for my birthday and have been hanging out with him separate from my friends and co-workers. He actually works for best buy, on the project team&it's a graveyard job. So I see him on the weekends, and things are good when we hang out. I have not had anything go farther than it should go because I'm trying to get to know him. When I'm with him I think I like him a lot, but when I go home and he doesn't talk to me much during the week it makes me wonder and question the whole thing. So as of right now I think I'm going to stop trying and see if the efforts on him. I don't like chasing guys and would rather be by myself. Although I am so lonely it's something I'd pick over wondering&getting emotionally hurt from liking someone. I am so scared to be in a relationship and commitment/settling. I guess I just don't trust/believe in anyone. My faith in guys is pretty much shattered and I haven't reached my single life for a year yet. It's been barely 8 months and I'm nowhere near having a boyfriend. What I really want is just someone who will take the time to get to know me. Best friends first....too bad those things don't happen to me and it makes me want to leave california even more.