I'm not bored, why do you ask?
Still having fun with the 
unconventionalcourtship Random generator by
john_amend_all. (It now does OUaT because I begged.)
(Mind, those original summaries... so many horrible cliches and sexism and borderline racism. Putting them into fannish use and turning them on their heads is the only good thing I think you could do with most of them. 0_o)
14)THE NINEFOLD KEY by REBECCA BRANDEWYN
Mills & Boon Super Historical
A Dream…
Edmund Blackadder has been haunted for years by a recurring dream about a handsome young man and a dark, forbidding castle. But when his nightmare begins to come true, Edmund is caught up in a dangerous intrigue that began over two hundred years before he was born.
A Quest…
Vislor Turlough barely escaped with his life after his father was murdered and his home burned to the ground. He must discover what lies behind these devastating events - even if it places his own life in jeopardy!
A Ninefold Key…
Edmund and Turlough are fated to meet and to fall passionately in love. But will their search for the ninefold key unlock the deadly secrets of their past - or utterly destroy them both?
*dies at devious/snarky combination*
And, as for OUaT, well, it's the ones that come worryingly close to canon that made me laugh the most. (Regina fits so many of the cliches. But awesomely. Also with literal heart-stealing.)
WHATEVER REILLY WANTS by MAUREEN CHILD
David Nolan had laughed at his brother for being the first triplet to lose the 'no sex for ninety days' bet. Though there were two long, tempting months ahead for him, David was determined to go the distance. Because not only was he a marine; he was a Nolan....
For two years, David had been coming to Snow White's shop, and she'd listened to him talk about this woman and that one. She'd thought their friendship was special. Until he admitted how 'safe' and 'comfortable' he felt around her. Well, war declared! She was going to show her 'pal' just how much of a threat she could be to his winning the bet!
97) THE SAINT by KATHLEE O'BRIEN
Silhouette Superromance
There’s a little sinner in the heart of every saint.
Everyone in Heyday loves Snow White. She is the golden girl, beloved daughter of the town’s richest man, and she lives up to her saintly reputation.
Only one person begs to differ.
Ruby’s life was ruined by Snow White, and she’s not about to forgive her - not even when she discovers that she’s pregnant with her baby.
Snow White, Belle and Neal: Three siblings with different mothers- brought together by their father’s last act. The town of Heyday will never be the same - and neither will they.
(Even by Once's standards, that last sentence is enough to break anyone's brains. And, yeah, whatever Rumple's last act was, it's bound to be trouble...)
88) WHISPERS IN THE NIGHT by DIANE PERSHING
Silhouette Sensation
It began with a noise in the night…
When strange things began happening at her isolated home, lonely widow Regina Mills turned to handywoman Emma Swan for protection. But what a mistake? Emma was not only an ex-cop but also an ex-convict - though she swore she’d been framed. Yet if she was so eager to prove her innocence why was she spending her time fixing her house, instead?
Emma seemed intent on gaining her trust - and as the mysterious dangers escalated, Regina needed someone to keep her safe. Emma was the perfect protector, because she needed nothing from her… or did she? Suddenly Regina wondered just why Emma had come to her - and how close she meant to get…
100) Wife by Contract - Raye Morgan
[ Robin Hood / Regina Mills ]
Regina Mills came home to find a groom and two adorable kids on her doorstep. They thought she’d be the perfect wife and mother. But it was her sister who’d sent for a new husband!
(And then, just to make it better, I got the alternate option with Zelena coming home to find her sister had ordered a husband and two adorable children, and - if taken as stealth Robin/Regina, I can't decide which works better...)
147) One More Kiss- Katherine Garbera
[Belle / Rumplestiltskin]
Since her divorce, cupcake queen Belle prefers baking to boys...until a phone order from a sexy-voiced stranger melts her insides like butter. It isn't until Belle makes the delivery that she realises - there's only been one man whose voice had such an effect: her mysterious, gorgeous ex-husband...
162) There Goes the Bride by Judy Duarte
Stop that bride!
Instead of heading down the aisle toward a man she didn't love, ex-beauty queen Belle hightailed it out of the church, landing at the feet of brooding loner Leroy. When Leroy begrudgingly helped Belle flee Kane's Crossing and her powerful groom-not-to-be in his private plane, neither one of them expected passions to ignite. But once they did, both tried to deny it. But maybe Leroy could make room for Belle in his emotionally bereft life, and maybe Belle would actually walk all the way down the aisle one of these days….
171) An Ideal Companion by Anne Ashley
HER QUIET WORLD OVERTURNED
When an unseasonable snowstorm brings an assortment of stranded travellers to Lord Rumplestiltskin’s door, companion Mr Neal Cassidy welcomes them in, flustered though he is by the towering presence of Colonel Killian Jones. But the next morning Neal’s quiet existence on the moor is shattered - Lord Rumplestiltskin is dead!
Convinced there’s more to his employer’s demise than meets the eye, Neal seeks the one man who can help him uncover the truth - the enigmatic Colonel. But, in a world where nothing is what it seems, can Neal and Killian come to put their trust in each other?
(... Er. Not much mystery there, really, I'd say.)
127) The Rake to Ruin Her- Julia Justiss
ONCE A RAKE... Known as ‘Magnificent Rumplestiltskin', diplomat Rumplestiltskin was famed for his lethal charm until a political betrayal left him exiled from government and his reputation in tatters. He seems a very unlikely saviour for a well-bred young lady. Except that Miss Cora doesn't want to be saved...she wants to be ruined! To Cora, getting married is tantamount to a death sentence, and meeting the rakish Rumplestiltskin at a house party seems the answer to her prayers... Surely this rogue won't hesitate to put his bad reputation to good use?
42)The Princes Pleasure by Robyn Donald
Princess Cora is a woman with a lot to lose, so she trusts nothing - least of all her unexpected desire for Killian Jones. There’s no time to get him off the remote Pacific Island, so Cora commands he be detained, in the lap of luxury, for her pleasure…
75) Her Passionate Plan B by Dixie Browning
Robin Hood had the perfect plan to catch a good woman… until a sexy stranger showed up out of nowhere! With her all-female looks Regina Mills could melt a man like chocolate on a summer day. But marriage material? Women like Regina are good for one thing - wild, scorching sex. The sooner Regina finds her family roots and leaves town, the better…
128) Unmasking Miss Lacey- Isabelle Goddard
STAND AND DELIVER! Incorrigible Regina Mills, Countess of Frensham, with a scandal at her heels, is taking an enforced sojourn in the country. She hardly expects to confront a highwaywoman in this quiet retreat. Or to discover, when she lays hands on the villain, a form that is undeniably male... Should she unmask the daring Robin Hood and hand him over to the law? Or follow her rakish instincts to take the law and that temptingly tall form into her own hands?
(I think the answer to that question depends on whether we're talking Regina or the Evil Queen...)
Anyway, that's more than enough of OUaT...
85) THE BUSINESS OF STRANGERS by KYLIE BRANT
A man without a past…He didn’t know his name, he didn’t know his nationality. The newly manufactured ‘Sodoff Baldrick’ only knew that his martial-arts skills and weaponry and assassination techniques went far beyond the average person’s…
A mark that became a death warrant…
The men who’d tried to assassinate him all shared one common trait: a tattoo of winged horse, exactly like the one on his ankle. Where had it come from - and what did it mean to his survival?
A man who was more than just a stranger… It was dangerous for Baldrick to share too much with anyone - much less the criminal hired to kill him - but he couldn’t resist Tom Paris’s arms, his bed. With his shadowy past hot on his heels, would Baldrick’s business with Tom be passionate…or deadly?
And with that thought, I leave you for the night.
Crossposted from Dreamwidth -- Comments there:
unconventionalcourtship Random generator by
john_amend_all. (It now does OUaT because I begged.)
(Mind, those original summaries... so many horrible cliches and sexism and borderline racism. Putting them into fannish use and turning them on their heads is the only good thing I think you could do with most of them. 0_o)
14)THE NINEFOLD KEY by REBECCA BRANDEWYN
Mills & Boon Super Historical
A Dream…
Edmund Blackadder has been haunted for years by a recurring dream about a handsome young man and a dark, forbidding castle. But when his nightmare begins to come true, Edmund is caught up in a dangerous intrigue that began over two hundred years before he was born.
A Quest…
Vislor Turlough barely escaped with his life after his father was murdered and his home burned to the ground. He must discover what lies behind these devastating events - even if it places his own life in jeopardy!
A Ninefold Key…
Edmund and Turlough are fated to meet and to fall passionately in love. But will their search for the ninefold key unlock the deadly secrets of their past - or utterly destroy them both?
*dies at devious/snarky combination*
And, as for OUaT, well, it's the ones that come worryingly close to canon that made me laugh the most. (Regina fits so many of the cliches. But awesomely. Also with literal heart-stealing.)
WHATEVER REILLY WANTS by MAUREEN CHILD
David Nolan had laughed at his brother for being the first triplet to lose the 'no sex for ninety days' bet. Though there were two long, tempting months ahead for him, David was determined to go the distance. Because not only was he a marine; he was a Nolan....
For two years, David had been coming to Snow White's shop, and she'd listened to him talk about this woman and that one. She'd thought their friendship was special. Until he admitted how 'safe' and 'comfortable' he felt around her. Well, war declared! She was going to show her 'pal' just how much of a threat she could be to his winning the bet!
97) THE SAINT by KATHLEE O'BRIEN
Silhouette Superromance
There’s a little sinner in the heart of every saint.
Everyone in Heyday loves Snow White. She is the golden girl, beloved daughter of the town’s richest man, and she lives up to her saintly reputation.
Only one person begs to differ.
Ruby’s life was ruined by Snow White, and she’s not about to forgive her - not even when she discovers that she’s pregnant with her baby.
Snow White, Belle and Neal: Three siblings with different mothers- brought together by their father’s last act. The town of Heyday will never be the same - and neither will they.
(Even by Once's standards, that last sentence is enough to break anyone's brains. And, yeah, whatever Rumple's last act was, it's bound to be trouble...)
88) WHISPERS IN THE NIGHT by DIANE PERSHING
Silhouette Sensation
It began with a noise in the night…
When strange things began happening at her isolated home, lonely widow Regina Mills turned to handywoman Emma Swan for protection. But what a mistake? Emma was not only an ex-cop but also an ex-convict - though she swore she’d been framed. Yet if she was so eager to prove her innocence why was she spending her time fixing her house, instead?
Emma seemed intent on gaining her trust - and as the mysterious dangers escalated, Regina needed someone to keep her safe. Emma was the perfect protector, because she needed nothing from her… or did she? Suddenly Regina wondered just why Emma had come to her - and how close she meant to get…
100) Wife by Contract - Raye Morgan
[ Robin Hood / Regina Mills ]
Regina Mills came home to find a groom and two adorable kids on her doorstep. They thought she’d be the perfect wife and mother. But it was her sister who’d sent for a new husband!
(And then, just to make it better, I got the alternate option with Zelena coming home to find her sister had ordered a husband and two adorable children, and - if taken as stealth Robin/Regina, I can't decide which works better...)
147) One More Kiss- Katherine Garbera
[Belle / Rumplestiltskin]
Since her divorce, cupcake queen Belle prefers baking to boys...until a phone order from a sexy-voiced stranger melts her insides like butter. It isn't until Belle makes the delivery that she realises - there's only been one man whose voice had such an effect: her mysterious, gorgeous ex-husband...
162) There Goes the Bride by Judy Duarte
Stop that bride!
Instead of heading down the aisle toward a man she didn't love, ex-beauty queen Belle hightailed it out of the church, landing at the feet of brooding loner Leroy. When Leroy begrudgingly helped Belle flee Kane's Crossing and her powerful groom-not-to-be in his private plane, neither one of them expected passions to ignite. But once they did, both tried to deny it. But maybe Leroy could make room for Belle in his emotionally bereft life, and maybe Belle would actually walk all the way down the aisle one of these days….
171) An Ideal Companion by Anne Ashley
HER QUIET WORLD OVERTURNED
When an unseasonable snowstorm brings an assortment of stranded travellers to Lord Rumplestiltskin’s door, companion Mr Neal Cassidy welcomes them in, flustered though he is by the towering presence of Colonel Killian Jones. But the next morning Neal’s quiet existence on the moor is shattered - Lord Rumplestiltskin is dead!
Convinced there’s more to his employer’s demise than meets the eye, Neal seeks the one man who can help him uncover the truth - the enigmatic Colonel. But, in a world where nothing is what it seems, can Neal and Killian come to put their trust in each other?
(... Er. Not much mystery there, really, I'd say.)
127) The Rake to Ruin Her- Julia Justiss
ONCE A RAKE... Known as ‘Magnificent Rumplestiltskin', diplomat Rumplestiltskin was famed for his lethal charm until a political betrayal left him exiled from government and his reputation in tatters. He seems a very unlikely saviour for a well-bred young lady. Except that Miss Cora doesn't want to be saved...she wants to be ruined! To Cora, getting married is tantamount to a death sentence, and meeting the rakish Rumplestiltskin at a house party seems the answer to her prayers... Surely this rogue won't hesitate to put his bad reputation to good use?
42)The Princes Pleasure by Robyn Donald
Princess Cora is a woman with a lot to lose, so she trusts nothing - least of all her unexpected desire for Killian Jones. There’s no time to get him off the remote Pacific Island, so Cora commands he be detained, in the lap of luxury, for her pleasure…
75) Her Passionate Plan B by Dixie Browning
Robin Hood had the perfect plan to catch a good woman… until a sexy stranger showed up out of nowhere! With her all-female looks Regina Mills could melt a man like chocolate on a summer day. But marriage material? Women like Regina are good for one thing - wild, scorching sex. The sooner Regina finds her family roots and leaves town, the better…
128) Unmasking Miss Lacey- Isabelle Goddard
STAND AND DELIVER! Incorrigible Regina Mills, Countess of Frensham, with a scandal at her heels, is taking an enforced sojourn in the country. She hardly expects to confront a highwaywoman in this quiet retreat. Or to discover, when she lays hands on the villain, a form that is undeniably male... Should she unmask the daring Robin Hood and hand him over to the law? Or follow her rakish instincts to take the law and that temptingly tall form into her own hands?
(I think the answer to that question depends on whether we're talking Regina or the Evil Queen...)
Anyway, that's more than enough of OUaT...
85) THE BUSINESS OF STRANGERS by KYLIE BRANT
A man without a past…He didn’t know his name, he didn’t know his nationality. The newly manufactured ‘Sodoff Baldrick’ only knew that his martial-arts skills and weaponry and assassination techniques went far beyond the average person’s…
A mark that became a death warrant…
The men who’d tried to assassinate him all shared one common trait: a tattoo of winged horse, exactly like the one on his ankle. Where had it come from - and what did it mean to his survival?
A man who was more than just a stranger… It was dangerous for Baldrick to share too much with anyone - much less the criminal hired to kill him - but he couldn’t resist Tom Paris’s arms, his bed. With his shadowy past hot on his heels, would Baldrick’s business with Tom be passionate…or deadly?
And with that thought, I leave you for the night.
Crossposted from Dreamwidth -- Comments there: