Picspam of Ye Olde TV (as I tend to do)
Since I seem to be determined to inflict fanfic on the world, here's a Frank Marker & Helen Mortimer picspam. I went to do something else, and then made these graphics under the heading of "research for fic". Probably a bit spoilery, at least as far as this relationship goes, but I'd imagine most people aren't going to watch it, so...
S4 (♥)
First meeting:
Helen: "I'm Mrs Mortimer. Welcome to Brighton. I hope you've brought some decent weather with you."
(I was going to write some commentary under here, but the trouble with S4 is that you need to write essays, and I'd better not go doing that again. So, pics. Enjoy.)
(First date:)
(The bottom left picture is the bit where he actually asks her out.)
Helen: "What can I do for you?"
Frank: "Well, I thought I might do something for you."
Helen: "Sounds promising."
Frank: "Mrs Reid and I are going to Billy Raybold's Palace of Varieties on the West Pier. Thought you might care to accompany us - chaperon the client."
Helen: "Tonight?!"
Frank: "In ten minutes time."
Helen: "Music hall, you?"
Frank: "Why not? Few corny jokes, couple of choruses of 'Daisy, Daisy', bottle of stout - do you the world of good!"
And then they come back singing "Daddy Wouldn't Buy Me A Bow-wow."
Frank: "Shh! You'll wake the landlady!"
Helen: "Ooh, a real tartar?"
Frank: "Oh, red hair and a terrible temper - and a Paddy - and a secret drinker!"
And have a Scotch in the kitchen and discuss Frank's problems.
Frank: "Finance and friendship, like oil and water -"
Helen: "Friendship? Coming out of your shell, aren't you?"
Frank: "Well, to tell you the truth, Mrs Mortimer, I'm a bit desperate. I've got to have something to talk to Hull about."
Helen: "Then perhaps you'd like to stop calling me Mrs Mortimer - like I was the vicar's wife!"
Helen: "Goodnight, Frank."
Frank: "Goodnight."
Helen: "Oh, and thanks for the show."
Frank: "You're welcome - Helen."
(Wiping up is fun!)
Frank: "Well, you have been busy, haven't you?"
Helen: "This is a trade like any other. You pick up a few tricks."
Frank: "Come on, enlighten me."
Helen: "How long do you have to be married before you know if your wife likes kippers?"
Frank (laughing): "Is that how you do it?"
Helen: "It works."
Frank: "Obviously."
Helen: "Four nights on the nest - if you'll pardon the expression -"
Frank: "I have heard worse."
Helen: "And they've nothing else in common. It's sad. I feel sorry for them. They're going to make each other very miserable."
Frank: "Yes, well, let's hope they don't create any permanent little miseries."
Helen: "Oh, you've no worries there. She's on the pill."
Frank: "You don't miss a trick, do you?"
Mrs Mortimer always knows how to get round Frank with a mug and a joke, even if it doesn't stop him from deciding to go.
Helen (reading the tealeaves in Frank's mug): "Oh. It's going to work out. And your horoscope's favourable!"
(I haven't screencapped S5 ep1 where he leaves her. I might one day now I'm a bit more rational and less likely to be overly distressed by it. Maybe. Maybe not. There's a mug with his name on it at the end, anyway.)
S6 (Congratulations, It's a Mug!)
Helen turns up for a visit just when Frank thought he'd never see her again. There is some awkwardness, but otherwise this is the Frank/Helen happy episode. (Yes. There's only one, because even when S4 is being happy, the dialogue is secretly stabbing you with glass splinters until you give up and die.)
Helen: "Aw, you've still got my mug."
Frank: "Wouldn't be without it, would I? Slight mishap with the handle, though."
Frank: "It's nice - nice to see you, Helen."
Helen: "You said."
Frank: "No, I mean it."
Helen: "I'll admit, I quite looked forward to seeing you, too."
I was only going to do one graphic from this episode... and then I changed my mind, because:
♥ (The bottom left pic is Frank busy saving Helen's son Nick from evil photocopier scams.)
Insp. Percy Firbank sees this across the pub bar and ships it on sight. This would be funny, except it isn't. (I'm not making things up here, btw. It's canon. Tragic canon.)
Be warned: don't get into ship wars, or try to force your ship to get together. Let things happen naturally. It'll start out like all happy like this, and end like this.
Percy: "You're important! Oh, not to me, I don't give a damn... For reasons best known to herself, you're important to that woman. Very important."
Frank: "That's not my problem."
Percy: "She needs her head examined, but that's something else. You could at least have the decency to treat her like a human being."
S7 (It's no use interfering)
In which Percy decides Frank needs to go back to Brighton (he really does), but Frank hates being manipulated, and Mrs Mortimer gets very unfairly caught in the middle and has had enough. Everybody gets heartbroken and decides to leave Windsor. (I do wonder what it was that Percy said to her, though. It is a mystery.)
Helen: "Frank, you have been silly."
Frank: "Have I?"
Helen: "Getting yourself in a state, can't even raise a smile. I thought at least you'd have a smile for me. You don't make people feel exactly wanted, do you?"
Helen: "Oh well, I'll pop in tomorrow. I bought some things."
Frank: "Make a note of how much."
Helen: "What did you say?"
Frank: "I'll pay you."
Helen: "You'll do no such thing, thank you very much! What I do is because I want to do it, not because you -! Oh, Frank. Just look at us."
Helen: "Sorry."
Frank: "Sorry, what for?"
Helen: "It was a mistake, wasn't it?"
Frank: "Bit too soon, perhaps."
Helen: "It's just I got the impression from something Percy - Oh, well. It's life, isn't it? I've stocked your cupboard. I'm off in the morning. You always know where to find me. Take care, Frank. Don't overdo it."
And that is the last time they were on screen together. You see why I am winding up writing fanfic. *sighsighsigh* (And right at the end there, there's a moment where he goes to say something to her, but she doesn't see, and then he doesn't see that she hesitates at the door. Why, yes, my TV show is sadistic, how about yours?)
Crossposted from Dreamwidth -- Comments there:
S4 (♥)
First meeting:
Helen: "I'm Mrs Mortimer. Welcome to Brighton. I hope you've brought some decent weather with you."
(I was going to write some commentary under here, but the trouble with S4 is that you need to write essays, and I'd better not go doing that again. So, pics. Enjoy.)
(First date:)
(The bottom left picture is the bit where he actually asks her out.)
Helen: "What can I do for you?"
Frank: "Well, I thought I might do something for you."
Helen: "Sounds promising."
Frank: "Mrs Reid and I are going to Billy Raybold's Palace of Varieties on the West Pier. Thought you might care to accompany us - chaperon the client."
Helen: "Tonight?!"
Frank: "In ten minutes time."
Helen: "Music hall, you?"
Frank: "Why not? Few corny jokes, couple of choruses of 'Daisy, Daisy', bottle of stout - do you the world of good!"
And then they come back singing "Daddy Wouldn't Buy Me A Bow-wow."
Frank: "Shh! You'll wake the landlady!"
Helen: "Ooh, a real tartar?"
Frank: "Oh, red hair and a terrible temper - and a Paddy - and a secret drinker!"
And have a Scotch in the kitchen and discuss Frank's problems.
Frank: "Finance and friendship, like oil and water -"
Helen: "Friendship? Coming out of your shell, aren't you?"
Frank: "Well, to tell you the truth, Mrs Mortimer, I'm a bit desperate. I've got to have something to talk to Hull about."
Helen: "Then perhaps you'd like to stop calling me Mrs Mortimer - like I was the vicar's wife!"
Helen: "Goodnight, Frank."
Frank: "Goodnight."
Helen: "Oh, and thanks for the show."
Frank: "You're welcome - Helen."
(Wiping up is fun!)
Frank: "Well, you have been busy, haven't you?"
Helen: "This is a trade like any other. You pick up a few tricks."
Frank: "Come on, enlighten me."
Helen: "How long do you have to be married before you know if your wife likes kippers?"
Frank (laughing): "Is that how you do it?"
Helen: "It works."
Frank: "Obviously."
Helen: "Four nights on the nest - if you'll pardon the expression -"
Frank: "I have heard worse."
Helen: "And they've nothing else in common. It's sad. I feel sorry for them. They're going to make each other very miserable."
Frank: "Yes, well, let's hope they don't create any permanent little miseries."
Helen: "Oh, you've no worries there. She's on the pill."
Frank: "You don't miss a trick, do you?"
Mrs Mortimer always knows how to get round Frank with a mug and a joke, even if it doesn't stop him from deciding to go.
Helen (reading the tealeaves in Frank's mug): "Oh. It's going to work out. And your horoscope's favourable!"
(I haven't screencapped S5 ep1 where he leaves her. I might one day now I'm a bit more rational and less likely to be overly distressed by it. Maybe. Maybe not. There's a mug with his name on it at the end, anyway.)
S6 (Congratulations, It's a Mug!)
Helen turns up for a visit just when Frank thought he'd never see her again. There is some awkwardness, but otherwise this is the Frank/Helen happy episode. (Yes. There's only one, because even when S4 is being happy, the dialogue is secretly stabbing you with glass splinters until you give up and die.)
Helen: "Aw, you've still got my mug."
Frank: "Wouldn't be without it, would I? Slight mishap with the handle, though."
Frank: "It's nice - nice to see you, Helen."
Helen: "You said."
Frank: "No, I mean it."
Helen: "I'll admit, I quite looked forward to seeing you, too."
I was only going to do one graphic from this episode... and then I changed my mind, because:
♥ (The bottom left pic is Frank busy saving Helen's son Nick from evil photocopier scams.)
Insp. Percy Firbank sees this across the pub bar and ships it on sight. This would be funny, except it isn't. (I'm not making things up here, btw. It's canon. Tragic canon.)
Be warned: don't get into ship wars, or try to force your ship to get together. Let things happen naturally. It'll start out like all happy like this, and end like this.
Percy: "You're important! Oh, not to me, I don't give a damn... For reasons best known to herself, you're important to that woman. Very important."
Frank: "That's not my problem."
Percy: "She needs her head examined, but that's something else. You could at least have the decency to treat her like a human being."
S7 (It's no use interfering)
In which Percy decides Frank needs to go back to Brighton (he really does), but Frank hates being manipulated, and Mrs Mortimer gets very unfairly caught in the middle and has had enough. Everybody gets heartbroken and decides to leave Windsor. (I do wonder what it was that Percy said to her, though. It is a mystery.)
Helen: "Frank, you have been silly."
Frank: "Have I?"
Helen: "Getting yourself in a state, can't even raise a smile. I thought at least you'd have a smile for me. You don't make people feel exactly wanted, do you?"
Helen: "Oh well, I'll pop in tomorrow. I bought some things."
Frank: "Make a note of how much."
Helen: "What did you say?"
Frank: "I'll pay you."
Helen: "You'll do no such thing, thank you very much! What I do is because I want to do it, not because you -! Oh, Frank. Just look at us."
Helen: "Sorry."
Frank: "Sorry, what for?"
Helen: "It was a mistake, wasn't it?"
Frank: "Bit too soon, perhaps."
Helen: "It's just I got the impression from something Percy - Oh, well. It's life, isn't it? I've stocked your cupboard. I'm off in the morning. You always know where to find me. Take care, Frank. Don't overdo it."
And that is the last time they were on screen together. You see why I am winding up writing fanfic. *sighsighsigh* (And right at the end there, there's a moment where he goes to say something to her, but she doesn't see, and then he doesn't see that she hesitates at the door. Why, yes, my TV show is sadistic, how about yours?)
Crossposted from Dreamwidth -- Comments there: