Fake Show 1: Cross Keys Fair
From john_elliott: "a supernatural espionage series set in the 1930s? Among the attractions at a travelling funfair is a sword in a stone: pay your ha'penny, and see if you can pull it out! Those who succeed find themselves enlisted in a secret organisation trying to police a fragile truce with the Fair Folk - as our heroine, a shopgirl enjoying her day at the fair, is about to discover..."
My first show, which came together fairly quickly, but stalled over my inability to cast current actors, especially for the lead character. Also it had fairies and Arthuriana, two things I try to avoid. However, it was fun and is definitely not a dreary studio-bound 1970s show, I promise.
CROSS KEYS FAIR
"Where we touch your world, time and reality weaken. The air ripples, the ground shakes, just for a moment. And it cuts both ways. We need to undo the old ties, separate our two worlds before it's too late."
Emily Thornfield's decision to spend a day at Cross Keys Fair is one that's going to change her life. Trying to pull out (the obviously fake) sword from an (even more obviously fake) stone leads her to join a secret society who are working hard to save the world, or so they say. Because, as it turns out, Fairies and an awful lot of other strange creatures are real - and a centuries old truce between the Human and Fairy realms seems to be finally breaking down. The consequences for both could be disastrous...
Emily Thornfield (Sophie Rundle)
"You can't possibly mean that I'm the only one who's come in here who's got a bit of common sense, surely?"
Emily's soon to regret her decision about how to spend her day off as she finds herself embroiled in a very old dispute between a secret society of humans and a whole other world made up of things she'd class as figments of her imagination.
Mr Ambrose (Alun Armstrong)
"You see things as they are. You stop and look properly. That's important."
Mr Ambrose runs the King Arthur sideshow, where Emily has the good luck or the misfortune to be the one to pull the sword out of the stone. Of course, he's just the grouchy owner of said sideshow, and not Merlin at all. Unless he is... Whichever the case, he's the closest this odd little Round Table has to a leader, and he's decided that Emily is exactly what they need in a new recruit.
Mina / "Lady Nimue" (Laila Rouass)
"It's a performance. That's what they pay for, and that's what I give them - but every so often something else creeps in..."
A fortune-teller whose act is affiliated with Mr Ambrose's sideshow. Behind the scenes, where Emily gets to know her, she's very down-to-earth and open about the tricks and illusions she uses, but sometimes the unearthly elements they're all dealing with will take any means they can to cross from one realm to another...
Ivy (David Bradley)
"It's your people brought us here, you know. Tied our lands together. Now, you've forgotten, and we're still here."
Nobody's sure whether or not Ivy can be trusted, but he's definitely on the Round Table's side about one thing - he wants the links between the Fair Folk and the humans severed for good even more than they do.
Arla (Lily James)
"I don't see why we should run away. We can ease your nightmares, and you can fight ours. Why not?"
Arla's another "fairy" who works with the Round Table (mostly), and makes particular friends with Emily. Indeed, she'd like to be more than friends, but sometimes their loyalties are very much divided.
Captain Rydell (Rupert Graves)
"Once they're here, they exist, and there's always something they don't take to. You work out what it is and you use that to stop them."
Military man who encountered some of the Fair Folk through some odd incidents in WWI (ask him about the Vanished Regiment). While Emily's not entirely sure they should trust him, either, he is very good at finding ways to fight the more malevolent things that steal out of the other realm and into this one.
Mrs Alice Montague (Penelope Wilton)
"We all have nightmares as well as daydreams, don't we? We draw them in, give them shapes and names. It's not altogether fair to blame them afterwards."
Mrs Montague's a retired explorer who's been looking for something to do. She's seen the activities of the Fair Folk world wide, and not just in the British Isles.
Archie Smith (Jacob Anderson)
Private detective who once followed the fair up from London. He and Jemima both have work back in the City, so can't be with the group all the time. (Jemima is also helping him find cases.)
Jemima Rollings (Emma Campbell-Jones)
She's a governess with excellent credentials who's worked in several excellent households. She's also partners in crime with Archie in more ways than one.
Jemima: "He found Lady Arlington's missing diamonds once. Down the back of the sofa, I think it was."
Archie: "Carefully stuffed down there by Miss Julia Arlington, who was supposed to be under the watchful eye of Miss Rollings. Strange that, isn't it?"
Jemima: "Now you're being terribly ungrateful."
Fairy Queen (Lara Pulver)
The Fairy Queen wants the realms severed, too. In theory, at least. In practice, there are times when she seems to have her own aims that no one else understands. But then, the Fair Folk have always been supposed to be tricky to deal with...
***
EPISODE GUIDE
1. The Sword in the Stone
Emily sets out for the fair and finds more than she bargained for. Suddenly she's privy to an ancient secret and working with Mr Ambrose (who probably isn't Merlin, but it's hard to be sure), Mina (who definitely can't see the future, except when it can see her), Captain Rydell (who doesn't mind shooting at figments of the imagination), Mrs Montague (all this keeps her from being bored at least, she says, and that's something) and a handful of others. Now she's finding fairies everywhere (although not yet at the bottom of the garden, possibly because she only has a backyard), especially Arla (who may be flirting with her). Oh, and the Mysterious Thing Emily dreamt about last night has turned up and started eating people, and it's up to her and her new-found friends to stop it.
2. Smoke and Mirrors
Emily continues to explore her new secret world, and meets more of the Fair Folk, including Ivy (who seems sinister, but probably isn't, unless he is) and even the Fairy Queen, who seems to have an inexplicable and personal interest in the latest nightmare that's crossed over from one realm to other: a phantom coach and four that's proving to be more deadly than a person could reasonably expect of an archaic and non-corporeal means of transport.
3. Treasure Hunt
Archie sets off a whole world of trouble when he recovers stolen jewellery (because some lost artefacts are meant to stay lost). The Queen is angry and the Fairy-Human truce was already growing shakier by the day. Arla's got dire warnings for Emily - and they both get a chance to see what might become of both realms if somebody can't come up with a solution to the problem.
4. What Did You Do In The War?
Human-Fairy relations are still falling apart, and Emily and Mr Ambrose and the Round Table Society are caught in the middle. Except now there's a Man from the Ministry who's come to sort everything out Officially (it seems to involve a lot of Impressive Documents and suchlike, including talk of a Vanished Regiment), and they need to find out who he is and if he's really sent by the Government. What's more, Captain Rydell finds out it's hunting season - for the Wild Hunt, that is, and he's got some ideas about that...
5. Visions & Dreams
Mina's (entirely-for-show, made-of-glass) crystal ball seems to be developing a mind of its own, and whether it's predicting the future or causing it, the group aren't sure, but whatever fairy creature it shows inside it inevitably then emerges into the real world to cause trouble. It looks as if the boundaries may be breaking down for good, and Ivy and others are emphatic: a line's got to drawn and the two realms separated before it's too late. Meanwhile, Mrs Montague's befriended a girl who may be half-human, half-fairy (Faye Marsay) which serves to prove several people's points, that it's only getting harder and harder to draw a line down the middle.
6. Can We Get There By Candlelight?
Time to find a way to seal off the fairy and human worlds from each other, forever. There are plenty of decisions and partings to be made first, not to mention a tiresome and Ominous Hound to be dealt with. However, it begins to seem as though this may not be the only solution, but is it worth taking the risk when the world might end if you're wrong?
***
Tragically, it was then cancelled because of the expense (period drama and fantasy combined?), leaving viewers frustrated, but letters left the BBC entirely unmoved, as ever. Still, there's a small but steady fanbase, so fanfic can take up the story from now on.
My first show, which came together fairly quickly, but stalled over my inability to cast current actors, especially for the lead character. Also it had fairies and Arthuriana, two things I try to avoid. However, it was fun and is definitely not a dreary studio-bound 1970s show, I promise.
CROSS KEYS FAIR
"Where we touch your world, time and reality weaken. The air ripples, the ground shakes, just for a moment. And it cuts both ways. We need to undo the old ties, separate our two worlds before it's too late."
Emily Thornfield's decision to spend a day at Cross Keys Fair is one that's going to change her life. Trying to pull out (the obviously fake) sword from an (even more obviously fake) stone leads her to join a secret society who are working hard to save the world, or so they say. Because, as it turns out, Fairies and an awful lot of other strange creatures are real - and a centuries old truce between the Human and Fairy realms seems to be finally breaking down. The consequences for both could be disastrous...
Emily Thornfield (Sophie Rundle)
"You can't possibly mean that I'm the only one who's come in here who's got a bit of common sense, surely?"
Emily's soon to regret her decision about how to spend her day off as she finds herself embroiled in a very old dispute between a secret society of humans and a whole other world made up of things she'd class as figments of her imagination.
Mr Ambrose (Alun Armstrong)
"You see things as they are. You stop and look properly. That's important."
Mr Ambrose runs the King Arthur sideshow, where Emily has the good luck or the misfortune to be the one to pull the sword out of the stone. Of course, he's just the grouchy owner of said sideshow, and not Merlin at all. Unless he is... Whichever the case, he's the closest this odd little Round Table has to a leader, and he's decided that Emily is exactly what they need in a new recruit.
Mina / "Lady Nimue" (Laila Rouass)
"It's a performance. That's what they pay for, and that's what I give them - but every so often something else creeps in..."
A fortune-teller whose act is affiliated with Mr Ambrose's sideshow. Behind the scenes, where Emily gets to know her, she's very down-to-earth and open about the tricks and illusions she uses, but sometimes the unearthly elements they're all dealing with will take any means they can to cross from one realm to another...
Ivy (David Bradley)
"It's your people brought us here, you know. Tied our lands together. Now, you've forgotten, and we're still here."
Nobody's sure whether or not Ivy can be trusted, but he's definitely on the Round Table's side about one thing - he wants the links between the Fair Folk and the humans severed for good even more than they do.
Arla (Lily James)
"I don't see why we should run away. We can ease your nightmares, and you can fight ours. Why not?"
Arla's another "fairy" who works with the Round Table (mostly), and makes particular friends with Emily. Indeed, she'd like to be more than friends, but sometimes their loyalties are very much divided.
Captain Rydell (Rupert Graves)
"Once they're here, they exist, and there's always something they don't take to. You work out what it is and you use that to stop them."
Military man who encountered some of the Fair Folk through some odd incidents in WWI (ask him about the Vanished Regiment). While Emily's not entirely sure they should trust him, either, he is very good at finding ways to fight the more malevolent things that steal out of the other realm and into this one.
Mrs Alice Montague (Penelope Wilton)
"We all have nightmares as well as daydreams, don't we? We draw them in, give them shapes and names. It's not altogether fair to blame them afterwards."
Mrs Montague's a retired explorer who's been looking for something to do. She's seen the activities of the Fair Folk world wide, and not just in the British Isles.
Archie Smith (Jacob Anderson)
Private detective who once followed the fair up from London. He and Jemima both have work back in the City, so can't be with the group all the time. (Jemima is also helping him find cases.)
Jemima Rollings (Emma Campbell-Jones)
She's a governess with excellent credentials who's worked in several excellent households. She's also partners in crime with Archie in more ways than one.
Jemima: "He found Lady Arlington's missing diamonds once. Down the back of the sofa, I think it was."
Archie: "Carefully stuffed down there by Miss Julia Arlington, who was supposed to be under the watchful eye of Miss Rollings. Strange that, isn't it?"
Jemima: "Now you're being terribly ungrateful."
Fairy Queen (Lara Pulver)
The Fairy Queen wants the realms severed, too. In theory, at least. In practice, there are times when she seems to have her own aims that no one else understands. But then, the Fair Folk have always been supposed to be tricky to deal with...
***
EPISODE GUIDE
1. The Sword in the Stone
Emily sets out for the fair and finds more than she bargained for. Suddenly she's privy to an ancient secret and working with Mr Ambrose (who probably isn't Merlin, but it's hard to be sure), Mina (who definitely can't see the future, except when it can see her), Captain Rydell (who doesn't mind shooting at figments of the imagination), Mrs Montague (all this keeps her from being bored at least, she says, and that's something) and a handful of others. Now she's finding fairies everywhere (although not yet at the bottom of the garden, possibly because she only has a backyard), especially Arla (who may be flirting with her). Oh, and the Mysterious Thing Emily dreamt about last night has turned up and started eating people, and it's up to her and her new-found friends to stop it.
2. Smoke and Mirrors
Emily continues to explore her new secret world, and meets more of the Fair Folk, including Ivy (who seems sinister, but probably isn't, unless he is) and even the Fairy Queen, who seems to have an inexplicable and personal interest in the latest nightmare that's crossed over from one realm to other: a phantom coach and four that's proving to be more deadly than a person could reasonably expect of an archaic and non-corporeal means of transport.
3. Treasure Hunt
Archie sets off a whole world of trouble when he recovers stolen jewellery (because some lost artefacts are meant to stay lost). The Queen is angry and the Fairy-Human truce was already growing shakier by the day. Arla's got dire warnings for Emily - and they both get a chance to see what might become of both realms if somebody can't come up with a solution to the problem.
4. What Did You Do In The War?
Human-Fairy relations are still falling apart, and Emily and Mr Ambrose and the Round Table Society are caught in the middle. Except now there's a Man from the Ministry who's come to sort everything out Officially (it seems to involve a lot of Impressive Documents and suchlike, including talk of a Vanished Regiment), and they need to find out who he is and if he's really sent by the Government. What's more, Captain Rydell finds out it's hunting season - for the Wild Hunt, that is, and he's got some ideas about that...
5. Visions & Dreams
Mina's (entirely-for-show, made-of-glass) crystal ball seems to be developing a mind of its own, and whether it's predicting the future or causing it, the group aren't sure, but whatever fairy creature it shows inside it inevitably then emerges into the real world to cause trouble. It looks as if the boundaries may be breaking down for good, and Ivy and others are emphatic: a line's got to drawn and the two realms separated before it's too late. Meanwhile, Mrs Montague's befriended a girl who may be half-human, half-fairy (Faye Marsay) which serves to prove several people's points, that it's only getting harder and harder to draw a line down the middle.
6. Can We Get There By Candlelight?
Time to find a way to seal off the fairy and human worlds from each other, forever. There are plenty of decisions and partings to be made first, not to mention a tiresome and Ominous Hound to be dealt with. However, it begins to seem as though this may not be the only solution, but is it worth taking the risk when the world might end if you're wrong?
***
Tragically, it was then cancelled because of the expense (period drama and fantasy combined?), leaving viewers frustrated, but letters left the BBC entirely unmoved, as ever. Still, there's a small but steady fanbase, so fanfic can take up the story from now on.