100 Things I Like in 100 Icons (#007)
I was going to think of something less obvious next, but, after all, this is one of the topics I got from dbskyler...
7. Press Gang
Okay - it's like this. There's a tribe living by a river, and in the river there are crocodiles. The tribe has one particular piece of wisdom passed down through the generations. It goes like this: if you happen to meet a crocodile, don't stick your head in its mouth. Every now and then - and who knows the reason - people ignore this advice. Which is sad. Because they die. But very stupid because they were warned. They had a choice. The moral of this story is - you can't afford to be stupid. There are crocodiles.
I made these icons and the rough post on 18th May. I've been waiting ever since to be work out something sensible to say about Press Gang. I don't think it's going to happen. So. I love Press Gang. It's clever, funny, surreal, tragic, hard-hitting and heart-warming and bleak. Sometimes all in the same minute. Lynda Day is great (and Julia Sawalha is amazing). It's one of the most quotable things ever. And then there's the strange and wonderful world of Colin Mathews... Oh, and it's just some old 1990s UK teen drama.
Quote fest yet again... (What else can I do?)
***
Lynda: I don't do conversation! Anything I say comes out like an order. I say hello and people salute.
Spike: Lynda, going out together usually involves - and this may surprise you - going out together. Like dates and stuff. Like maybe even seeing one another occasionally. I know, it was in Biology.
Spike: You don't happen to be jealous of a girl I've never even met, do you?
Lynda: Of course I'm jealous, Spike. I wish I was the girl you've never even met.
Colin: I'm no use. You know what I am? I'm a pink rabbit at a funeral. I'm a radioactive lizard in a filing cabinet. I'm the guy who tried to market the inflatable telephone for the poolside executive. My own mother doesn't believe a word I say without three independent witnesses and a death threat.
Kenny: People say I'm too reasonable to have opinions, but I don't know about that.
Lynda: Kenny, just do as I tell you.
Kenny: That is the nature of our friendship.
Sarah: Can you explain to me how I have just argued myself into doing exactly what you wanted me to do in the first place? You are a devious, unfeeling, calculating, manipulative bitch.
Lynda: Well, you were asking what made me a better choice for editor.
Frazz: Sex and violence. I love children's television.
Frazz: Tell me something, Lynda. Given that we were already twenty-one goals behind, given that we were two players down because you personally sent them off for being consistently late on deadlines. Given those things, don't you think it was an unusual tactic to suddenly score against your own side and concuss your team captain?
Lynda: Well, it had the benefit of surprise.
Julie: You're late!
Lynda: You're fired! I win.
Frazz: Would you forget a date with Colin?
Julie: I'd try.
Miss McGuigan: Colin thinks there might be a radioactive lizard in the filing cabinet.
Mr Sullivan: Again?
Lynda: Colin, I want the books. And I don't want to hear how they've been eaten by your cat, or how they were stolen by a roving band of deranged accountants, or how the recent stock market collapse in New Guinea has rendered the figures meaningless in a very real sense. I want the books now!
Spike [answering the phone]: Spike Thomson, advice line for the love-lorn.
Kenny: I’ve just met someone I really like. Is it too soon to steal her passport?
Sam Black: That's not what lasting relationships are based on. I should know, I've had hundreds of them.
Tiddler: Kenny, let me tell you what I've got out here. I've got a nomination form for the editor election. I've got eight of my best friends waiting to see you when you come out. And I've got your trousers. Let's talk.
Bill Sullivan: Is this a discussion or a chance to agree with you, Lynda? Or do you not recognise the distinction?
Matt Kerr: You're editor. The only ideas you don't get the credit for are the good ones.
Mr Winters: When I say you can go, Lynda, that's an order, not an opportunity.
Mr Sullivan: Lynda, you're not at school any more. You don't have to call me 'sir'.
Lynda: I know. Sir.
Kelly/Dublin Girl [on the phone to Kenny]: Are you a nice guy?
Kenny: Me, nice? You’re talking to world champion nice here. I’m so nice I get socks for Christmas - and I like it. I’m so sweet and lovable cuddly toys sneer at me.
Spike: Excuse me, but I would like to know more about this blind driving plumber you bathe with. Can you explain any of that?
Lynda: We were the ones doing that magazine. The only reason we're here is because this school cannot stand the scrutiny of a free press.
Sarah: And we've had the fire brigade called out eight times.
Mr Sullivan [on the conundrum of Lynda's woodcarving]: Well, it's obvious isn't it? A freak worm hole has opened up in the fabric of the space-time continuum. This seemingly insignificant woodcarving has been sucked back in time ten years to the bedroom of the infant Lynda Day. But what awesome celestial forces are behind this strange phenomenon? And what, Lynda, is their evil purpose? We shall have to act quickly to save the entire Universe!
Lynda: Do we have to involve the entire newsroom in any little fight we have?
Spike: I don't know. Shall we take a vote?
Colin: Let me just give you a tip. Never try thumbing a lift dressed as a giant pink rabbit - I almost caused a major traffic disaster on the Sherrington road.
Kenny: Graphic Department spending proposals. An HB pencil and a sunbed?
Sam: Well, I can explain the pencil.
Lynda: Of course - your dear old aunt in Sherrington. What is it this time? Ill? Dead? Tell me, how do you justify being off work at her funeral on no less than eight separate occasions?
Kenny: She is my aunt!
Lynda: Kenny - this woman has died a total of eight times!
Kenny: How do you think I feel?
Matt Kerr: [to Lynda] You are a lady of unexpected depths Lynda, to which you regularly sink.
***
Kenny: Thanks.
Lynda: For what?
Kenny: I don't know. Everything.
Lynda: I'm not responsible for everything. I just make it look that way.
7. Press Gang
Okay - it's like this. There's a tribe living by a river, and in the river there are crocodiles. The tribe has one particular piece of wisdom passed down through the generations. It goes like this: if you happen to meet a crocodile, don't stick your head in its mouth. Every now and then - and who knows the reason - people ignore this advice. Which is sad. Because they die. But very stupid because they were warned. They had a choice. The moral of this story is - you can't afford to be stupid. There are crocodiles.
I made these icons and the rough post on 18th May. I've been waiting ever since to be work out something sensible to say about Press Gang. I don't think it's going to happen. So. I love Press Gang. It's clever, funny, surreal, tragic, hard-hitting and heart-warming and bleak. Sometimes all in the same minute. Lynda Day is great (and Julia Sawalha is amazing). It's one of the most quotable things ever. And then there's the strange and wonderful world of Colin Mathews... Oh, and it's just some old 1990s UK teen drama.
Quote fest yet again... (What else can I do?)
***
Lynda: I don't do conversation! Anything I say comes out like an order. I say hello and people salute.
Spike: Lynda, going out together usually involves - and this may surprise you - going out together. Like dates and stuff. Like maybe even seeing one another occasionally. I know, it was in Biology.
Spike: You don't happen to be jealous of a girl I've never even met, do you?
Lynda: Of course I'm jealous, Spike. I wish I was the girl you've never even met.
Colin: I'm no use. You know what I am? I'm a pink rabbit at a funeral. I'm a radioactive lizard in a filing cabinet. I'm the guy who tried to market the inflatable telephone for the poolside executive. My own mother doesn't believe a word I say without three independent witnesses and a death threat.
Kenny: People say I'm too reasonable to have opinions, but I don't know about that.
Lynda: Kenny, just do as I tell you.
Kenny: That is the nature of our friendship.
Sarah: Can you explain to me how I have just argued myself into doing exactly what you wanted me to do in the first place? You are a devious, unfeeling, calculating, manipulative bitch.
Lynda: Well, you were asking what made me a better choice for editor.
Frazz: Sex and violence. I love children's television.
Frazz: Tell me something, Lynda. Given that we were already twenty-one goals behind, given that we were two players down because you personally sent them off for being consistently late on deadlines. Given those things, don't you think it was an unusual tactic to suddenly score against your own side and concuss your team captain?
Lynda: Well, it had the benefit of surprise.
Julie: You're late!
Lynda: You're fired! I win.
Frazz: Would you forget a date with Colin?
Julie: I'd try.
Miss McGuigan: Colin thinks there might be a radioactive lizard in the filing cabinet.
Mr Sullivan: Again?
Lynda: Colin, I want the books. And I don't want to hear how they've been eaten by your cat, or how they were stolen by a roving band of deranged accountants, or how the recent stock market collapse in New Guinea has rendered the figures meaningless in a very real sense. I want the books now!
Spike [answering the phone]: Spike Thomson, advice line for the love-lorn.
Kenny: I’ve just met someone I really like. Is it too soon to steal her passport?
Sam Black: That's not what lasting relationships are based on. I should know, I've had hundreds of them.
Tiddler: Kenny, let me tell you what I've got out here. I've got a nomination form for the editor election. I've got eight of my best friends waiting to see you when you come out. And I've got your trousers. Let's talk.
Bill Sullivan: Is this a discussion or a chance to agree with you, Lynda? Or do you not recognise the distinction?
Matt Kerr: You're editor. The only ideas you don't get the credit for are the good ones.
Mr Winters: When I say you can go, Lynda, that's an order, not an opportunity.
Mr Sullivan: Lynda, you're not at school any more. You don't have to call me 'sir'.
Lynda: I know. Sir.
Kelly/Dublin Girl [on the phone to Kenny]: Are you a nice guy?
Kenny: Me, nice? You’re talking to world champion nice here. I’m so nice I get socks for Christmas - and I like it. I’m so sweet and lovable cuddly toys sneer at me.
Spike: Excuse me, but I would like to know more about this blind driving plumber you bathe with. Can you explain any of that?
Lynda: We were the ones doing that magazine. The only reason we're here is because this school cannot stand the scrutiny of a free press.
Sarah: And we've had the fire brigade called out eight times.
Mr Sullivan [on the conundrum of Lynda's woodcarving]: Well, it's obvious isn't it? A freak worm hole has opened up in the fabric of the space-time continuum. This seemingly insignificant woodcarving has been sucked back in time ten years to the bedroom of the infant Lynda Day. But what awesome celestial forces are behind this strange phenomenon? And what, Lynda, is their evil purpose? We shall have to act quickly to save the entire Universe!
Lynda: Do we have to involve the entire newsroom in any little fight we have?
Spike: I don't know. Shall we take a vote?
Colin: Let me just give you a tip. Never try thumbing a lift dressed as a giant pink rabbit - I almost caused a major traffic disaster on the Sherrington road.
Kenny: Graphic Department spending proposals. An HB pencil and a sunbed?
Sam: Well, I can explain the pencil.
Lynda: Of course - your dear old aunt in Sherrington. What is it this time? Ill? Dead? Tell me, how do you justify being off work at her funeral on no less than eight separate occasions?
Kenny: She is my aunt!
Lynda: Kenny - this woman has died a total of eight times!
Kenny: How do you think I feel?
Matt Kerr: [to Lynda] You are a lady of unexpected depths Lynda, to which you regularly sink.
***
Kenny: Thanks.
Lynda: For what?
Kenny: I don't know. Everything.
Lynda: I'm not responsible for everything. I just make it look that way.