Carry On Cowboy & How The West Was Lost
Since some kind people have been reading their way through my story without having a clue about Carry Ons or what these people look like, a nice bit of pic spam for those who've followed me this far:
Welcome to Stodge City - where the women are scary and the men are mice...
Judge Burke (Kenneth Williams) has a problem. And it's not just that he has the dodgiest accent in the West. (I was so young when I first watched this that I was disappointed that Kenneth Williams wasn't in this... I was that fooled by the Funny Voice.) If only I could have included the bit when the Marshall tries to arrest Rumpo and nearly gets shot.
Judge Burke: "Yeah, go on, shoot him!"
Marshall: "What?"
Burke: "Don't you see, it's just what we need - then we'll have something on him!"
Rumpo (Sid James) wears the black hat and terrorises Sam Houston, Judge Burke and Marshall P Knutt.
Marshall P Knutt (Jim Dale) - Sanitation, drainage and garbage disposal engineer, First Class, gradualte of Chipping Sodbury Technical College - who's just had his starring role nicked by the Brigadier. He's nervous and highly strung (so he tells the lynch mob...)
Luckily, Annie Oakley's (Angela Douglas) there to come to his rescue. (Yep folks, this is probably what Doris looked like that night in Brighton. Presumably without the hat, though...)
However, Belle's (Joan Sims) not about to take any nonsense from anyone. And she's armed, too. I didn't manage to include either her attack on Rumpo (who's been observing Annie in her bath).
Rumpo: "Come on, she's a pretty girl - you know how it is!"
Belle slaps him then fells him with a sharp kick.
Rumpo (nursing his cheek): "Cor, she does know how it is, too."
Plus, the lovely line on arriving at the sheriff''s quarters:
Marshall: "Miss Belle - think of your reputation!"
Belle: "No, you think of it, Marshall and don't be so nonsensical." (The Brig just wouldn't say that. Drat the man.)
Rumpo and Charlie wonder where the Brigadier came from and why Sheriff Earp's back from the dead. Talking of which...
Poor old Albert Earp can't see where he's going, hear what's being said and he can't tell the difference between an outlaw and his horse.
Three unlikely Indians attack the stage coach & Charles Hawtry as Big Heap, the unlikeliest Indian in history. And I couldn't fit it in the story, but I was going to have him revealed as the Hon Augustus ffeatherstone-ffanshawe caught in the Monk's genre bubble, but he'd ask the 'Indians' if he could stay at the end because it was much more fun than his previous life... I forgot that bit. Whoops.
Josh the Undertaker (Davy Kaye). People don't die quick enough for his liking.
Marshall and Annie get attacked by 'Indians' & Marshall uses drains to get the better of Rumpo (in the version without the Doctor and the Brigadier, obviously).
'Doc' (Peter Butterworth), who may or may not be the Meddling Monk himself. He's been in Stodge for years, is top notch at Happy Famliies and knows the Judge is a Wright-Burke.
Hattie Jacques kindly agreed to do a cameo at the end. Sadly, you'll have to watch a different Carry On to catch her in action. But here she is with the infamous daffodil. (Being as both Doctor Who and Carry On Nurse found different but equally unique uses for this innocent flower...
And a random one of Angela Douglas as Princess Jelhi Bebi in Carry On Up the Khyber. Just as well the Brigadier and the Doctor didn't turn up in Carry On Screaming - she's playing a girl called Doris in that. Wouldn't you know?
Plus, this website (despite the fact that it will play the music at you) has reasonable summaries of all the films, with some pics:
http://www.hawicklittletheatre.fsnet.co.uk/carry_on.htm
And, unless I finally hunt down some more in charity shops, that's quite enough from me on this subject!