Can I Have That Muffin Please?
Spoiler free and (hopefully) fun clips and quotes from The West Wing, which I have been watching all week in lieu of being able to do much else. I remembered writing random fic last time this happened. This week there were icons, instead - and this.
(The only spoilers are for knowing which characters are still around in S2 and S4. And I think the Sam/Ainsley clips are funny out of context, certainly the two where she meets the President, so here goes...)
But first a general series fanvid (only goes up to S3 and pretty safe):
If you haven't much time, this is the funniest clip:
Ainsley Hayes (Emily Procter), the lone Republican in the Democrat White House meets President Bartlet (Martin Sheen).
Ainsley attempts meeting the President for the second time (also v amusing):
Also: Ainsley calls Sam the Master to get what she wants (typing that gives me serious fandom confusion). Also Ainsley asks for a muffin, to prove I didn't make that up.
Plus, a general fanvid, and then I can happily never mention any of this again:
And onto more important West Wing related things, now for Josh and Donna...
Sam and Ainsley is flippant and fun. Donna's fast becoming one of my favourite characters in anything.
Donna being awesome - After being lost in America with Toby and Josh for two days, and managing not to kill them, she finally speaks:
Donna: "I am not kidding. I have such an impulse to knock your heads together. I can't remember the last time I heard you two talk about anything other than how a campaign was playing in Washington. Cathy needed to take a second job so her dad could be covered by her insurance. She tried to tell you how bad things were for family farmers. You told her we already lost Indiana. You made fun of the fair but you didn't see they have livestock exhibitions and give prizes for the biggest tomato and the best heirloom apple. They're proud of what they grow. Eight modes of transportation, the kindness of six strangers, random conversations with twelve more, and nobody brought up Bartlet versus Ritchie but you. I'm writing letters on your behalf to the parents of the kids who were killed today. Can I have the table, please?"
I was going to find clips of Donna and Josh that would show all the little already-married business they do, but in the end settled for already-married quotes. (Because that's the thing with this ship: the two of you, you are already married, so wake up and go out with each other before I come after you both with a rolled up newspaper and hit people.)
Quote spammage follows (please bear in mind that at no point during any of these are Josh and Donna going out/have ever gone out):
S1
Donna: Are you going to listen to me from now on?
Josh: I'm not even listening to you now.
Donna: I said, are you going to listen...
Josh: Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Josh: Okay, good, that's a start. Tell me what you think I should do right now.
Donna: Go into your office and come up with a secret plan to fight inflation.
Donna : How'd it go?
Josh : How do you know to be standing here?
Donna : I see you at the window.
Josh : You don't have a window.
Donna : You have a window.
Josh : What are you doing in my office when I'm not there?
Donna : Looking for you at the window.
Josh: My watch is fine.
Donna: Your watch says 10 to 7.
Josh: How do I know it isn't 10 to 7?
Donna: Cause those large clocks on the wall that are run by the U.S. Navy, say your watch sucks. In fact, they say your watch sucks in four different time zones.
Josh: Did Toby find a country?
Donna: The Federated States of Micronesia.
Josh: Is that a real country?
Donna: Yes, it's located 2500 miles southwest of Hawaii where you've never taken me.
Josh: When was I suppose to take you to Hawaii?
Donna: Anytime. It's something bosses do.
S2
Donna: My value here is that I have no value.
Josh: You have enormous value to me, you have no value to Eastern Europe.
Donna: 'Joey, would you like to go out Friday night?' You know, you have to say it. You have to ask a girl out on a DATE. You can't just randomly tumble into a girl sideways and hopes she breaks up with you soon like you always do.
...
Donna : You want me to ask her out for you?
Josh : I'm thinking of firing you.
Donna : You fired me twice already tonight, I'm impervious.
Josh : All last night at the phone banks, Donna was telling me I should ask Joey Lucas out.
Sam : You should.
Josh : Fine. But that aside what do you think about Donna being the one pushing?
Sam : I don't think anything.
Josh : You wouldn't think she'd be jealous?
Sam : She goes out with guys, do you get jealous?
Josh : No.
Sam : See.
Josh : I don't get jealous.
Sam: So?
Josh : I don't like it and usually do everything within my considerable capabilities to
sabotage it... Which is why its curious that Donna would do nothing to discourage and in fact
everything to encourage a date with Joey Lucas who is, quite frankly a very attractive woman.
Josh : Did you get the flowers?
Donna : Yes, I did... They were very pretty.
Josh : Do you know why I sent them to you?
Donna : I know why you think you sent them to me.
Josh : It's our anniversary!
Donna : No, it's not.
Josh : I'm the kind of guy who remembers these things!
Donna : No, you're the kind of guy who sends a woman flowers to be mean. You're the only person I've met who can do that!
Josh : I'm quite something.
Donna : I was actually in a car accident... Anyway, they took me to the hospital and I called him and he came to get me and on the way he stopped and met some friends of his for a beer. Does this make you feel superior? Yes, you are better than my old boyfriend.
Josh : I'm just sayin' - if you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for a beer.
Donna : If you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for red lights. Thanks for taking me back. Oh, and the flowers are beautiful.
S3
Donna : "You know what they do to a girl like me on the cell block? I've seen those movies."
Josh : "Yeah, me too."
Donna : "I bet you have."
Josh : "Find me something!"
Donna : "Why is this being done last minute?"
Josh : "And remember to scold me a couple times before I go."
Donna : "I'm telling your mother you forgot where she lives!"
Josh : "You're the girl I made fun of in elementary school, you know that?"
Donna : "Yes, I do."
Josh : "Press hold, and I will pick up the phone in my office."
Donna : "I'm sorry, how does a telephone work again?"
Josh : "Good morning."
Donna : "My man!"
Josh : "Yes."
Donna : "You came back to me."
Josh : "Just like I promised."
Donna : "I missed you."
Josh : "When did you find you missed me the most?"
Donna : "The nights."
Josh : "Of course."
S4
Josh: "Donna!"
Donna: "How'd you know I was out there?"
Josh: "I felt you lurking."
Josh: "Guys will go out with anyone."
Donna: "That hasn't been my experience."
Jack (to Josh): "I have an aide, who, in my life, I haven't talked about as much as you've talked about Donna in our entire relationship, yours and mine, which is a cumulative total of seven minutes old."
Donna: "You know what grips my ass?...If anything ever happened to me, chances are its going to be when I am sitting next to you and I'm going to be an also-dead. 'Senior Bartlet advisor Joshua Lyman killed by a pack of wild dogs. Also dead Diane Moss.'"
Josh: "How come you go out with so many Republicans?"
Donna: "I don't."
Josh: "You do. Cliff, Commander Wonderful, Dr. Freeride."
Donna (to Amy): "He goes through every day worrying that somebody he likes is going to die and its going to be his fault. What do you think makes him walk so fast?"
S5
Donna: "There are pages turned down with Post-its to tell you which of your relatives the gifts are for. If you're happy with the choices you should initial at the X. If you're not happy with the choices, you should remember how this goes when you try to do this yourself."
Josh: "I like the polar fleece stuff."
Donna: "Who's in charge of shopping?"
Josh: "You are."
CJ: "If he was giving you every opportunity, you'd have grown out of this job three years ago. Can't blame him, he's never going to find anyone as capable as you. I wouldn't give you up either."
Donna: "It's the White House."
CJ: "It's not the White House. It's him."
***
(Quote spammage ends)
And my favourite scene so far with them. Hopefully it works out of context, with the random funny of bad cops who can't remember to be bad, Charlie being lovesick, snowball throwing, and shouting, but with the reservation that it may not, unlike the above clips. (And they still don't get together.)
Josh works out the actual reason that Donna is hiding at home in disgrace while everyone else is at the inauguration ball.
Insanity over. Hope it was entertaining to people who aren't me.
Next time I watch a ridiculous amount of the show, I promise some President Bartlet spammage instead. Now I'll remember that I am primarily a Doctor Who fan or something like that...
(The only spoilers are for knowing which characters are still around in S2 and S4. And I think the Sam/Ainsley clips are funny out of context, certainly the two where she meets the President, so here goes...)
But first a general series fanvid (only goes up to S3 and pretty safe):
Click to viewIf you haven't much time, this is the funniest clip:
Ainsley Hayes (Emily Procter), the lone Republican in the Democrat White House meets President Bartlet (Martin Sheen).
Ainsley attempts meeting the President for the second time (also v amusing):
Also: Ainsley calls Sam the Master to get what she wants (typing that gives me serious fandom confusion). Also Ainsley asks for a muffin, to prove I didn't make that up.
Plus, a general fanvid, and then I can happily never mention any of this again:
And onto more important West Wing related things, now for Josh and Donna...
Sam and Ainsley is flippant and fun. Donna's fast becoming one of my favourite characters in anything.
Donna being awesome - After being lost in America with Toby and Josh for two days, and managing not to kill them, she finally speaks:
Donna: "I am not kidding. I have such an impulse to knock your heads together. I can't remember the last time I heard you two talk about anything other than how a campaign was playing in Washington. Cathy needed to take a second job so her dad could be covered by her insurance. She tried to tell you how bad things were for family farmers. You told her we already lost Indiana. You made fun of the fair but you didn't see they have livestock exhibitions and give prizes for the biggest tomato and the best heirloom apple. They're proud of what they grow. Eight modes of transportation, the kindness of six strangers, random conversations with twelve more, and nobody brought up Bartlet versus Ritchie but you. I'm writing letters on your behalf to the parents of the kids who were killed today. Can I have the table, please?"
I was going to find clips of Donna and Josh that would show all the little already-married business they do, but in the end settled for already-married quotes. (Because that's the thing with this ship: the two of you, you are already married, so wake up and go out with each other before I come after you both with a rolled up newspaper and hit people.)
Quote spammage follows (please bear in mind that at no point during any of these are Josh and Donna going out/have ever gone out):
S1
Donna: Are you going to listen to me from now on?
Josh: I'm not even listening to you now.
Donna: I said, are you going to listen...
Josh: Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Josh: Okay, good, that's a start. Tell me what you think I should do right now.
Donna: Go into your office and come up with a secret plan to fight inflation.
Donna : How'd it go?
Josh : How do you know to be standing here?
Donna : I see you at the window.
Josh : You don't have a window.
Donna : You have a window.
Josh : What are you doing in my office when I'm not there?
Donna : Looking for you at the window.
Josh: My watch is fine.
Donna: Your watch says 10 to 7.
Josh: How do I know it isn't 10 to 7?
Donna: Cause those large clocks on the wall that are run by the U.S. Navy, say your watch sucks. In fact, they say your watch sucks in four different time zones.
Josh: Did Toby find a country?
Donna: The Federated States of Micronesia.
Josh: Is that a real country?
Donna: Yes, it's located 2500 miles southwest of Hawaii where you've never taken me.
Josh: When was I suppose to take you to Hawaii?
Donna: Anytime. It's something bosses do.
S2
Donna: My value here is that I have no value.
Josh: You have enormous value to me, you have no value to Eastern Europe.
Donna: 'Joey, would you like to go out Friday night?' You know, you have to say it. You have to ask a girl out on a DATE. You can't just randomly tumble into a girl sideways and hopes she breaks up with you soon like you always do.
...
Donna : You want me to ask her out for you?
Josh : I'm thinking of firing you.
Donna : You fired me twice already tonight, I'm impervious.
Josh : All last night at the phone banks, Donna was telling me I should ask Joey Lucas out.
Sam : You should.
Josh : Fine. But that aside what do you think about Donna being the one pushing?
Sam : I don't think anything.
Josh : You wouldn't think she'd be jealous?
Sam : She goes out with guys, do you get jealous?
Josh : No.
Sam : See.
Josh : I don't get jealous.
Sam: So?
Josh : I don't like it and usually do everything within my considerable capabilities to
sabotage it... Which is why its curious that Donna would do nothing to discourage and in fact
everything to encourage a date with Joey Lucas who is, quite frankly a very attractive woman.
Josh : Did you get the flowers?
Donna : Yes, I did... They were very pretty.
Josh : Do you know why I sent them to you?
Donna : I know why you think you sent them to me.
Josh : It's our anniversary!
Donna : No, it's not.
Josh : I'm the kind of guy who remembers these things!
Donna : No, you're the kind of guy who sends a woman flowers to be mean. You're the only person I've met who can do that!
Josh : I'm quite something.
Donna : I was actually in a car accident... Anyway, they took me to the hospital and I called him and he came to get me and on the way he stopped and met some friends of his for a beer. Does this make you feel superior? Yes, you are better than my old boyfriend.
Josh : I'm just sayin' - if you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for a beer.
Donna : If you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for red lights. Thanks for taking me back. Oh, and the flowers are beautiful.
S3
Donna : "You know what they do to a girl like me on the cell block? I've seen those movies."
Josh : "Yeah, me too."
Donna : "I bet you have."
Josh : "Find me something!"
Donna : "Why is this being done last minute?"
Josh : "And remember to scold me a couple times before I go."
Donna : "I'm telling your mother you forgot where she lives!"
Josh : "You're the girl I made fun of in elementary school, you know that?"
Donna : "Yes, I do."
Josh : "Press hold, and I will pick up the phone in my office."
Donna : "I'm sorry, how does a telephone work again?"
Josh : "Good morning."
Donna : "My man!"
Josh : "Yes."
Donna : "You came back to me."
Josh : "Just like I promised."
Donna : "I missed you."
Josh : "When did you find you missed me the most?"
Donna : "The nights."
Josh : "Of course."
S4
Josh: "Donna!"
Donna: "How'd you know I was out there?"
Josh: "I felt you lurking."
Josh: "Guys will go out with anyone."
Donna: "That hasn't been my experience."
Jack (to Josh): "I have an aide, who, in my life, I haven't talked about as much as you've talked about Donna in our entire relationship, yours and mine, which is a cumulative total of seven minutes old."
Donna: "You know what grips my ass?...If anything ever happened to me, chances are its going to be when I am sitting next to you and I'm going to be an also-dead. 'Senior Bartlet advisor Joshua Lyman killed by a pack of wild dogs. Also dead Diane Moss.'"
Josh: "How come you go out with so many Republicans?"
Donna: "I don't."
Josh: "You do. Cliff, Commander Wonderful, Dr. Freeride."
Donna (to Amy): "He goes through every day worrying that somebody he likes is going to die and its going to be his fault. What do you think makes him walk so fast?"
S5
Donna: "There are pages turned down with Post-its to tell you which of your relatives the gifts are for. If you're happy with the choices you should initial at the X. If you're not happy with the choices, you should remember how this goes when you try to do this yourself."
Josh: "I like the polar fleece stuff."
Donna: "Who's in charge of shopping?"
Josh: "You are."
CJ: "If he was giving you every opportunity, you'd have grown out of this job three years ago. Can't blame him, he's never going to find anyone as capable as you. I wouldn't give you up either."
Donna: "It's the White House."
CJ: "It's not the White House. It's him."
***
(Quote spammage ends)
And my favourite scene so far with them. Hopefully it works out of context, with the random funny of bad cops who can't remember to be bad, Charlie being lovesick, snowball throwing, and shouting, but with the reservation that it may not, unlike the above clips. (And they still don't get together.)
Josh works out the actual reason that Donna is hiding at home in disgrace while everyone else is at the inauguration ball.
Insanity over. Hope it was entertaining to people who aren't me.
Next time I watch a ridiculous amount of the show, I promise some President Bartlet spammage instead. Now I'll remember that I am primarily a Doctor Who fan or something like that...