(no subject)
Out of boredom and feeling like giving something for people to read and another friend answering these questions I think I will also. The answers will more the likely be short.
1. What worked in my life this past year? What did not work? What worked in my life is a hard question. I don't really think anything did besides my sitting around and hanging out on gaia with my friends all day. What didn't work for me besides just about everything was playing parent to my nephews. My sister was always working and her guy at the time was also, then my sister joined the national guard and her and her guy split so my nephews moved in with us while she was gone and being as I was the only one who could I watched my nephews everyday. Had to get up in the mornings to watch them and generally be a parent before I ever should have been for kids that are not mine. They are great kids even more so the younger one but its still frustrating to watch two kids all day and then when your siblings get home and are supposed to help they don't because they have only ever thought about themselves.
2. What brought me happiness/disappointment? Happiness was a hard thing for me to find over 2008. There was so very little of it. The year pretty much started out with my heart being obliterated and then nothing. Near the end of the year I did make mod on gaia which made me happy and is actually something I enjoy doing even if I am not as active as the others in actually modding. Its the first responsibility I took up out of my own accord in a long time. All others where kinds thrust on me because I was all there was. As for what disappointed me over 2008 I would have to say my complete and utter lack of motivation to really do anything with my life, my being single and alone all year again. Almost everything from the year besides what I mentioned already.
3. Where was I successful? Hmmm I think the only things I can say for this was being there for my friends who I care about a lot, making mod, and continuing to survive my depression and loneliness.
4. What were my greatest challenges/lessons? Hmmm I don't think there where any. Nothing has changed in my life over this year besides the number of friends which tends to only go up thankfully. I haven't really learned a life lesson in long time because I got those down awhile ago. Why learn from experience when its less painful to learn from the experiences of others? Always gone with the less painful path.
5. What am I most proud of ? What do I most regret? Making mod would be the only thing I can think of for being most proud of. What do I regret? My doing nothing. I've essentially wasted another year of my life. That is two now for those who are counting. I could be half done with college by now or even 3/4 is I had gone over the summer but I lacked the money and aside from federal aid would of had none. Federal aid wouldn't of paid for it all and I honestly can't do two things full time.
6. What attitudes and actions will I take with me into the new year?
Which ones do I want to keep in this year? I really have no clue. I would like to keep my laziness and lack of motivation in the past but I know I will not. As for the ones I would like to take with me I have no clue either, not even really what I would like to.
7. What limiting beliefs did I shift? What negative emotions did I shift? I don't believe that any of my beliefs are limiting or at least they have not held me back. My morals and standards have kept me from looking at the only jobs I can really get in this town as well as the choices I have for a person to share life with. As far as negative emotions go they are all still there and probably will be for awhile.
8. When did I follow my intuition? Hmmmm, probably a 50/50 thing there. I have no clue what I want to do with my life which is also why I've done nothing. I had wanted to make games but honestly I think that was more something I said so people would leave me alone. Seemed like the easiest path at the time also I guess. Go to school online sit around all day still. I guess I followed my intuition on not doing that. I can never really tell what my intuition is telling me to do. Its almost always a constant struggle to just decide what to do when I have to make a decision but I honestly don't know which is my brain and which is my intuition. Maybe that's because I don't know what I want. Still kinda lost in life I am with no direction or idea what I am doing.
9. How did I grow, improve, and expand myself? I put on some weight and I might of got a little bit taller. As far as improve I don't think I did or if I did I don't see it. Maybe that's because I never look at myself. As for expanding I did so a bit in my tastes. I listen to a wider range of music now then I did a few years ago or even at the beginning of 2008. I real more manga and watch more anime then I used to. Talk to lots of different kinds of people. Not much more then that.
10. How much love did I share? I would have to say none for the most part. There was none for my family, none for myself, and I've been single all year and you can say at least 5 years now since I decided any relationship I had online no matter how serious was only half a relationship and didn't count. The only people I did give love to were my close friends. I don't really know any other way then to be there for them when they need someone or when they don't. Also the random gifting on gaia to friends when there were things I could get them. There are not many I would call a close friend so it really wasn't much.
11. What do I want my intention to be for 2009?I don't know, probably simple. Get a job and start saving so I can go to school and do something with my life. Find out what I want to do with my life also. Maybe find love and someone to spend my time with. God knows I've spent enough of it alone to never want to be by myself ever again.
Well till next time.(when ever that is)
1. What worked in my life this past year? What did not work? What worked in my life is a hard question. I don't really think anything did besides my sitting around and hanging out on gaia with my friends all day. What didn't work for me besides just about everything was playing parent to my nephews. My sister was always working and her guy at the time was also, then my sister joined the national guard and her and her guy split so my nephews moved in with us while she was gone and being as I was the only one who could I watched my nephews everyday. Had to get up in the mornings to watch them and generally be a parent before I ever should have been for kids that are not mine. They are great kids even more so the younger one but its still frustrating to watch two kids all day and then when your siblings get home and are supposed to help they don't because they have only ever thought about themselves.
2. What brought me happiness/disappointment? Happiness was a hard thing for me to find over 2008. There was so very little of it. The year pretty much started out with my heart being obliterated and then nothing. Near the end of the year I did make mod on gaia which made me happy and is actually something I enjoy doing even if I am not as active as the others in actually modding. Its the first responsibility I took up out of my own accord in a long time. All others where kinds thrust on me because I was all there was. As for what disappointed me over 2008 I would have to say my complete and utter lack of motivation to really do anything with my life, my being single and alone all year again. Almost everything from the year besides what I mentioned already.
3. Where was I successful? Hmmm I think the only things I can say for this was being there for my friends who I care about a lot, making mod, and continuing to survive my depression and loneliness.
4. What were my greatest challenges/lessons? Hmmm I don't think there where any. Nothing has changed in my life over this year besides the number of friends which tends to only go up thankfully. I haven't really learned a life lesson in long time because I got those down awhile ago. Why learn from experience when its less painful to learn from the experiences of others? Always gone with the less painful path.
5. What am I most proud of ? What do I most regret? Making mod would be the only thing I can think of for being most proud of. What do I regret? My doing nothing. I've essentially wasted another year of my life. That is two now for those who are counting. I could be half done with college by now or even 3/4 is I had gone over the summer but I lacked the money and aside from federal aid would of had none. Federal aid wouldn't of paid for it all and I honestly can't do two things full time.
6. What attitudes and actions will I take with me into the new year?
Which ones do I want to keep in this year? I really have no clue. I would like to keep my laziness and lack of motivation in the past but I know I will not. As for the ones I would like to take with me I have no clue either, not even really what I would like to.
7. What limiting beliefs did I shift? What negative emotions did I shift? I don't believe that any of my beliefs are limiting or at least they have not held me back. My morals and standards have kept me from looking at the only jobs I can really get in this town as well as the choices I have for a person to share life with. As far as negative emotions go they are all still there and probably will be for awhile.
8. When did I follow my intuition? Hmmmm, probably a 50/50 thing there. I have no clue what I want to do with my life which is also why I've done nothing. I had wanted to make games but honestly I think that was more something I said so people would leave me alone. Seemed like the easiest path at the time also I guess. Go to school online sit around all day still. I guess I followed my intuition on not doing that. I can never really tell what my intuition is telling me to do. Its almost always a constant struggle to just decide what to do when I have to make a decision but I honestly don't know which is my brain and which is my intuition. Maybe that's because I don't know what I want. Still kinda lost in life I am with no direction or idea what I am doing.
9. How did I grow, improve, and expand myself? I put on some weight and I might of got a little bit taller. As far as improve I don't think I did or if I did I don't see it. Maybe that's because I never look at myself. As for expanding I did so a bit in my tastes. I listen to a wider range of music now then I did a few years ago or even at the beginning of 2008. I real more manga and watch more anime then I used to. Talk to lots of different kinds of people. Not much more then that.
10. How much love did I share? I would have to say none for the most part. There was none for my family, none for myself, and I've been single all year and you can say at least 5 years now since I decided any relationship I had online no matter how serious was only half a relationship and didn't count. The only people I did give love to were my close friends. I don't really know any other way then to be there for them when they need someone or when they don't. Also the random gifting on gaia to friends when there were things I could get them. There are not many I would call a close friend so it really wasn't much.
11. What do I want my intention to be for 2009?I don't know, probably simple. Get a job and start saving so I can go to school and do something with my life. Find out what I want to do with my life also. Maybe find love and someone to spend my time with. God knows I've spent enough of it alone to never want to be by myself ever again.
Well till next time.(when ever that is)