blargh

[lost_solstice]

so life is frustrating... and so are relationships. i mean, i love cuddling and kissing and sharing moments that are priceless. i love love... but really... i have never felt so helpless and UNloved in a relationship. I mean my last one, i was the one that didnt love him as much, i was the one who never panicked about beeing cheated on... it was always the guys who seemed to be the ones who cried over me... but now it seems everything has turned. I just feel like, in the back of my spine, that something is wrong... he has been acting so weird lately... ever since his ex called... i seriously think he is going to go back to what he was doing before... its like the first sound from her in months sparks something up in him again... i miss having a boyfriend who LOVED to call me... who loved to hear from me if i was in a bad mood. I miss having a boyfriend who revolved his schedual around me and not his friends... i miss having a boyfriend that cared more about me than himself... and honestly, half of these traits i've never even HAD... i want a romantic guy. I've spent alot of time (and money) on him... and it seems i get hardly anything in return.

i guess my perfect guy dosent exsist... or maybe its not that, im just not good enough for someone that great. (and i dont want comments saying i am. i will delete them all)