(no subject)
The best way to sum up this chris and i issue you all have been helping me survive, is this comment i wrote to a friend of mine, i chizzeled the stuff to her out for the most part, and left the main story... i didnt want to write it again. please understand... i know what i am doing i am an adult, and i cannot let someone like him out of my hands so easily.
i understand you care about me... but this is what happened.
i called today to tell him i was giving up, because if he wanted to be with her, thats what was going to happen... but i love him. I've been in the worst possible relationship before... and with chris, besides this chick we were perfect.
Now, he wound up calling and telling me he wanted me... and he wanted to talk things out at vegas. We went, i told him i wanted to know what happened. He had told me before he kissed her. Not what type of kiss and nothing more. He said it was a deep kiss, but he didnt let it last long cause i came into his mind... he told me before he even said he would think about choosing me, that he wasent going to lie anymore. And when i saw him, he kept saying he knew there was no way i would trust him with her, and he understood and decided he dosent want anything to do with her. He wouldent let my hands go and told me that he thought sense she was his first love, that would make him love her more than he loved me. Though when he left me, everything reminded me of him, he couldent sleep or eat, he felt sick and he knew he made a mistake. He said today it had been eating away at him and he knew he had to let me know... and it was up to me to let him back in. I understand what he did... he didnt have sex with her, and honestly... why i can be so forgiving the first time, is because i went through that SAME shit with Kyle... i left a differnt chris for kyle two years ago. i know exactly what he is going through. kyle lived 1,000+ miles away, so once my mom threatened him it was easy to ignore him... chinelle lives about 20 min from him... its harder for him and sense she kept prying herself into his life, he did what i did... and thought he needed to be back with her.
He grabbed my head while lying next to me and starred in my eyes for a minute. He told me he was sorry from the bottom of his heart, and that it took him to break up with me and think he loved someone more, to realize that he in fact found someone that he actually loves more than his first. I can understand that too... if it took him this to figure out he loves me that much... than i will take it... we can work things out, and i cant let a guy like him go without another try.
i know you are trying to watch out for me, i appreciate it more than anything. But do understand... i know men arent the greatest things on this planet... they are cheap lying bastards most of the time! lol. but when a guy like this comes into my life... and besides one girl, he is perfect in every way... i cannot possibly let him go
i understand you care about me... but this is what happened.
i called today to tell him i was giving up, because if he wanted to be with her, thats what was going to happen... but i love him. I've been in the worst possible relationship before... and with chris, besides this chick we were perfect.
Now, he wound up calling and telling me he wanted me... and he wanted to talk things out at vegas. We went, i told him i wanted to know what happened. He had told me before he kissed her. Not what type of kiss and nothing more. He said it was a deep kiss, but he didnt let it last long cause i came into his mind... he told me before he even said he would think about choosing me, that he wasent going to lie anymore. And when i saw him, he kept saying he knew there was no way i would trust him with her, and he understood and decided he dosent want anything to do with her. He wouldent let my hands go and told me that he thought sense she was his first love, that would make him love her more than he loved me. Though when he left me, everything reminded me of him, he couldent sleep or eat, he felt sick and he knew he made a mistake. He said today it had been eating away at him and he knew he had to let me know... and it was up to me to let him back in. I understand what he did... he didnt have sex with her, and honestly... why i can be so forgiving the first time, is because i went through that SAME shit with Kyle... i left a differnt chris for kyle two years ago. i know exactly what he is going through. kyle lived 1,000+ miles away, so once my mom threatened him it was easy to ignore him... chinelle lives about 20 min from him... its harder for him and sense she kept prying herself into his life, he did what i did... and thought he needed to be back with her.
He grabbed my head while lying next to me and starred in my eyes for a minute. He told me he was sorry from the bottom of his heart, and that it took him to break up with me and think he loved someone more, to realize that he in fact found someone that he actually loves more than his first. I can understand that too... if it took him this to figure out he loves me that much... than i will take it... we can work things out, and i cant let a guy like him go without another try.
i know you are trying to watch out for me, i appreciate it more than anything. But do understand... i know men arent the greatest things on this planet... they are cheap lying bastards most of the time! lol. but when a guy like this comes into my life... and besides one girl, he is perfect in every way... i cannot possibly let him go