(no subject)

[lost_sick_gone]

i am alive
this journal is old
it boggles my mind how long ago i started using lj and how it still exists,
me then is so completely dead,
i am something so unfamiliar to the old me now, i can only think back in fondness, but i am sad to know how much i have literally erased (photos, posts, journals) from my life

i am almost 20, i live on my own in a nice one bedroom apartment in hancock park, LA, hardwood floors and all.
a good paying job, a hell of a lot of responsibility.
living, happy, healthy
i gained all my weight back, trying to be as fit as possible.
living, yet always something lacking, i still haven't found out what it is,
sometimes it hurts, i don't know why.
i miss a lot of things, i take a lot for granted,
mainly because i am impatient, fragile, and regularly see no purpose in everything, in that sense not much has changed, but i have grown to adore the simpler things in life, like nature.
i have goals, i am in love with bicycling

if anyone out there remembers me, and finds me, thank you for caring enough to read this.
it is late, and i am listening to Jets to Brazil,
all i want is a bottle of wine, and a reunion with everyone that has ever meant anything to me.

i love you all.