remembering
do you remember when we were best friends
i mean the kind who talked every day
remember how we made a new inside joke almost every conversation
when you told me that becoming my friend was the best part of your year
how we used to go for a walk every night just to shake off what ever was holding us down and because in the darkness we were free to tell our sorrows
remember the messages you would send me saying it had been too long since we'd seen each other and I'd remind you it had only been two days but you said that didn't count because it had only been 45 minutes
remember how we both knew the other one was hurting so we would show up just for a little bit to remind each other to breathe and offer a stupid joke about cookies, sandwiches, and marbles
remember all the pinky-promises we made and now won't keep
we always talked about going on adventures, and we had a few, but our best moments were sitting together with books in our laps, listening to music, until you would get bored and poke me in the face or tickle my feet
remember how we saw each other every weekend and even when we were both home on breaks you would call me late at night just so we could be reminded of each others voices
when every morning meant a 'hullo' pinging in my gmail
how your meal plan suddenly seemed inadequate because you enjoyed mocking me as i tried my first pb&j ricecrispies tortilla thing and i always reminded you to not forget your id on the table
remember when we used insults to show we cared
remember how most of conversations included discussing our mutual hatred of meetings and how we would rather be hanging out instead
remember the first night you asked to come over at 1 in the morning after our awkward chat and i met you in smeared mascara and sweats and we stayed up as long as we could talking about nothing but loving it
i remember all of it
remember when you told me how much you hated knowing others were in pain and you had a hand in it but there was nothing you could do and i talked you down from your guilt
i am in pain. and you had a hand in it. the broken heart of mine you made so much fun of keeps shattering and not only are you not here for me, every time i think of you and every time i remember, it only gets worse.
i mean the kind who talked every day
remember how we made a new inside joke almost every conversation
when you told me that becoming my friend was the best part of your year
how we used to go for a walk every night just to shake off what ever was holding us down and because in the darkness we were free to tell our sorrows
remember the messages you would send me saying it had been too long since we'd seen each other and I'd remind you it had only been two days but you said that didn't count because it had only been 45 minutes
remember how we both knew the other one was hurting so we would show up just for a little bit to remind each other to breathe and offer a stupid joke about cookies, sandwiches, and marbles
remember all the pinky-promises we made and now won't keep
we always talked about going on adventures, and we had a few, but our best moments were sitting together with books in our laps, listening to music, until you would get bored and poke me in the face or tickle my feet
remember how we saw each other every weekend and even when we were both home on breaks you would call me late at night just so we could be reminded of each others voices
when every morning meant a 'hullo' pinging in my gmail
how your meal plan suddenly seemed inadequate because you enjoyed mocking me as i tried my first pb&j ricecrispies tortilla thing and i always reminded you to not forget your id on the table
remember when we used insults to show we cared
remember how most of conversations included discussing our mutual hatred of meetings and how we would rather be hanging out instead
remember the first night you asked to come over at 1 in the morning after our awkward chat and i met you in smeared mascara and sweats and we stayed up as long as we could talking about nothing but loving it
i remember all of it
remember when you told me how much you hated knowing others were in pain and you had a hand in it but there was nothing you could do and i talked you down from your guilt
i am in pain. and you had a hand in it. the broken heart of mine you made so much fun of keeps shattering and not only are you not here for me, every time i think of you and every time i remember, it only gets worse.