Growing Up
Here I am again.
the thing i love about livejournal is that it's always here when you need it the most, to vent or just try to minimize the overwhemling feeling taking over your lungs and making your breaths short.
College. I'm just about a month and a half away from being thrown face first into the "real" world. I'm so terrified but at the same time estatic because this is what I've been waiting for since I was 15. I guess I'm growing up and I'd like to think I'm growing up with a good head on my shoulders. It's hard to find someone to talk to about what's really on my mind because most of my friends are staying home and they have no idea what's racing through my mind. What kind of room mate will I have? What will I do with myself at those times when I'm taking a break from school? Who will befriend me? How will I get a ride to Austin to visit my boyfriend? I know I'm not the only one but it'd be nice to find someone to talk to about this stuff.
I wish my boyfriend didn't leave. I finally saw him for the first time in 3 months but 3 nights just isn't enough to compensate for 90 days. He means the world to me and if I weren't so inlove and cared for him the way I do I'd probably be selfish and beg him to stay here with me. The best part about that is he would do it too. However, as much as it pains me to let go every 2 to 3 months I do. On the upside the next seperation is only about a month.
Last night I got so frustrated because I realize that I might be the only girl so completely inlove with her boyfriend and I'm the one that has to deal with the long distance. It feels like I'm being punished while all the other flakey girls cheat on their boyfriends that are in the same area code as they are. Or if they're not cheating they're treating their boyfriends like shit. I want to cry every time I think about that.
ahhh what's wrong with mee???? Now i'm so emotional and I think things through and it feels like my lungs and heart are going to explode. I guess I'm just growing up.