its getting so cold that she wonders why...
there is no greater gift that friendship....
why can't anyone give me that gift.
except for stef, and caroli.
i have no one.
this has been one of the worst weeks in my life.
i lost everything that has ever meant anything to me.
i saw what i had previously lost which was my bestfriend and i got too carried away with everything and now because of my actions with him she looks at me like i am nothing..
firstly.
i lost the most important person in my world.
all because of drugs that made my judgement very poor.
secondly.
i lost my band and my friend.
thirdly.
i got caught drinking and smoking with people at my house.
and i lost all trust i had with my parents.
and they want me killed right now.
i think the firing squad is in line right now, with all sites pointed at my head.
yesterday i went to the ritz with one objective.
getting her back.
although i failed i thought i saved the venue district.
but after today.
i think that failed as well...
can i honestly be in a band with someone who has my girl??
even though i caused this whole mess in the first place?
not even i know the answer to that.
well anyway the show was alright.
the new morning of is jazzy.
i liked it.
this depression is a horrible thing that makes me feel sick all the time.
it puts me where i can't even function right and i end up calling steven crying cause i am failing.
and he has to walk me through it and then i can just barely do it.
i am losing so much weight that my parents threatened to have me hospitalized because they feel that i am abusing cocaine or another substance and that, that is the cause of my recent weight loss.
another girl who means a lot to me wants nothing to do with me either.
and that is because of drugs.
and that i can't stand.
so i really want to stop.
me being high isn't making me feel better anyway.
i don't care how numb i am.
it isn't helping..
my life is falling apart piece for piece.
which is not something that was preconcieved.
i just want to stop this terrible saddening feeling.
its worse than breaking bones.
and being stabbed to death with a spoon.
im getting far away from here.
maybe that makes me weak.
but i don't care.
i can't take this anymore.
it hurts too bad.
but, what hurts more.
is knowing its all my fault.
i am the actual cause of this whole mess.
im sorry to everyone.
about everything.
i was always a let down and a failure.
and for that i am truly sorry.
is there any hope for me......
my life is such a mess.
goodbye, farewell, ill always love you.
and i won't forget about you.
pinky promise.kiss.
why can't anyone give me that gift.
except for stef, and caroli.
i have no one.
this has been one of the worst weeks in my life.
i lost everything that has ever meant anything to me.
i saw what i had previously lost which was my bestfriend and i got too carried away with everything and now because of my actions with him she looks at me like i am nothing..
firstly.
i lost the most important person in my world.
all because of drugs that made my judgement very poor.
secondly.
i lost my band and my friend.
thirdly.
i got caught drinking and smoking with people at my house.
and i lost all trust i had with my parents.
and they want me killed right now.
i think the firing squad is in line right now, with all sites pointed at my head.
yesterday i went to the ritz with one objective.
getting her back.
although i failed i thought i saved the venue district.
but after today.
i think that failed as well...
can i honestly be in a band with someone who has my girl??
even though i caused this whole mess in the first place?
not even i know the answer to that.
well anyway the show was alright.
the new morning of is jazzy.
i liked it.
this depression is a horrible thing that makes me feel sick all the time.
it puts me where i can't even function right and i end up calling steven crying cause i am failing.
and he has to walk me through it and then i can just barely do it.
i am losing so much weight that my parents threatened to have me hospitalized because they feel that i am abusing cocaine or another substance and that, that is the cause of my recent weight loss.
another girl who means a lot to me wants nothing to do with me either.
and that is because of drugs.
and that i can't stand.
so i really want to stop.
me being high isn't making me feel better anyway.
i don't care how numb i am.
it isn't helping..
my life is falling apart piece for piece.
which is not something that was preconcieved.
i just want to stop this terrible saddening feeling.
its worse than breaking bones.
and being stabbed to death with a spoon.
im getting far away from here.
maybe that makes me weak.
but i don't care.
i can't take this anymore.
it hurts too bad.
but, what hurts more.
is knowing its all my fault.
i am the actual cause of this whole mess.
im sorry to everyone.
about everything.
i was always a let down and a failure.
and for that i am truly sorry.
is there any hope for me......
my life is such a mess.
goodbye, farewell, ill always love you.
and i won't forget about you.
pinky promise.kiss.