Change of mind
I feel like I've been changing my mind so much lately, but I guess that's just part of trying to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I've been getting such a bad taste in my mouth about Japan lately. I started wanting to go 7 years ago and thought it would be really unique to become a teacher there. I didn't even like anime (Okay, I loved Sailor Moon but that was dubbed and I had no idea it came from Japan in the first place. Same with DB/DBZ) So yeah. Then in recent years while finishing high school I've run into SO many fucking weeaboo's, crazy about Japan, wanting to do the same shit.
That's only one reason, the other is my view of their culture as of late. I think I would have fit in a year or two ago, because I was quiet and more conserved. I don't think that's how I am anymore. I think I've been feeling stuck for so long that now I just want to break free and have fun. I don't want to be in a society where being crazy and loud is looked down upon.
I just want to not give a damn, be free, have fun, and make the most out of my life at this point. I think listening to metal right now is just fueling the fire, haha.
Alright - changed the song, listening to some Pixies now. Much more chill.
So what do I want to do now?
I want to go to Europe. I want to go to Europe, get lost, go to pubs (even though I hardly drink, being a good amount of buzzed is fun too), live the night life, get out of my comfort zone and try to find comfort in uncomfortable situations. I feel I'll be so much more overall relaxed then, if that makes sense.
I was actually born in Cardiff, Wales but haven't been there since I was a baby, and I visited a relative in London years ago. All of those things were when I was too little to really take it all in.
It's going to be bitter cold, dirty in some parts, expensive, and strange, but I want all of that right now. I just need to see something really different for once.
--
One thing, though. What if it's me that can't enjoy life? Is it me, or the fact that the places I've lived in just haven't been eventful enough?
What if I go to London and feel the same as I do now, what will I do then?
I hope it isn't me, and just the place I'm in. I hope that a serious change of scenery will make things more enjoyable. I really, really do. Otherwise I won't know what to do. I guess the only way to find out is to do it.
I've been getting such a bad taste in my mouth about Japan lately. I started wanting to go 7 years ago and thought it would be really unique to become a teacher there. I didn't even like anime (Okay, I loved Sailor Moon but that was dubbed and I had no idea it came from Japan in the first place. Same with DB/DBZ) So yeah. Then in recent years while finishing high school I've run into SO many fucking weeaboo's, crazy about Japan, wanting to do the same shit.
That's only one reason, the other is my view of their culture as of late. I think I would have fit in a year or two ago, because I was quiet and more conserved. I don't think that's how I am anymore. I think I've been feeling stuck for so long that now I just want to break free and have fun. I don't want to be in a society where being crazy and loud is looked down upon.
I just want to not give a damn, be free, have fun, and make the most out of my life at this point. I think listening to metal right now is just fueling the fire, haha.
Alright - changed the song, listening to some Pixies now. Much more chill.
So what do I want to do now?
I want to go to Europe. I want to go to Europe, get lost, go to pubs (even though I hardly drink, being a good amount of buzzed is fun too), live the night life, get out of my comfort zone and try to find comfort in uncomfortable situations. I feel I'll be so much more overall relaxed then, if that makes sense.
I was actually born in Cardiff, Wales but haven't been there since I was a baby, and I visited a relative in London years ago. All of those things were when I was too little to really take it all in.
It's going to be bitter cold, dirty in some parts, expensive, and strange, but I want all of that right now. I just need to see something really different for once.
--
One thing, though. What if it's me that can't enjoy life? Is it me, or the fact that the places I've lived in just haven't been eventful enough?
What if I go to London and feel the same as I do now, what will I do then?
I hope it isn't me, and just the place I'm in. I hope that a serious change of scenery will make things more enjoyable. I really, really do. Otherwise I won't know what to do. I guess the only way to find out is to do it.