(no subject)
one more thing i realized: even if I wanted to not come home tonight, I really don't have anywhere to go. I don't have real friends here. Jason is not my real friend. He lives this facade of being a friend. a friend that doesn't talk to me and doesn't like to hear me and my feelings. He gets annoyed. He is just attached to his phone and his other friends. The one person I honestly considered my best friend doesn't feel inclined to talk to me. it hurts a bit, but i'm fine with that. i'm actually really used to it.
i have no one. not one person to care enough about me. and no it's not that it's not enough FOR ME. it's just not enough to care. its all convenience. It's when they "feel like it". Every other time is just solid irritation or issues bottled up and they treat me accordingly.
I'm done being someones commodity. I'm a person that needs someone to care enough to listen. To care enough to drop everything and care. I do that for other people, why can't someone just do that for? I guess I am the only person that can do that for me. I always been the only person.
i have no one. not one person to care enough about me. and no it's not that it's not enough FOR ME. it's just not enough to care. its all convenience. It's when they "feel like it". Every other time is just solid irritation or issues bottled up and they treat me accordingly.
I'm done being someones commodity. I'm a person that needs someone to care enough to listen. To care enough to drop everything and care. I do that for other people, why can't someone just do that for? I guess I am the only person that can do that for me. I always been the only person.