you were my greatest failure
augh i'm so not feeling well right now. I have an awful feeling, to say the least.
Today sucked really bad. I got a C- on my speech about QPR, because apparantly explaining how to possibly save the life of a suicidal friends isn't "demonstrative" enough, thus the kids who explained how to bake cookies and throw a baseball got A's. I went to the bathroom to stew for a few minutes and I felt like I was in high school again. The only difference was this time I didn't have a razor or safety pin.
I've been fighting urges to self-harm lately, and I really don't know why I'm even getting those feelings. I'm feeling really frustrated and hard on myself. I can't please myself. I'm determined not to give in though. If I can make it until Feb, then it will be one year, which is the longest I've gone since I first started. I have to make it.
I'm so nervous about the TWLOHA internship. I've been turned down by it before. There is really no reason why they can't turn me down again. Something that used to seem within my reach seems so far away now. I want this so badly, but it feels like it will be impossible for me to ever achieve it.
Today sucked really bad. I got a C- on my speech about QPR, because apparantly explaining how to possibly save the life of a suicidal friends isn't "demonstrative" enough, thus the kids who explained how to bake cookies and throw a baseball got A's. I went to the bathroom to stew for a few minutes and I felt like I was in high school again. The only difference was this time I didn't have a razor or safety pin.
I've been fighting urges to self-harm lately, and I really don't know why I'm even getting those feelings. I'm feeling really frustrated and hard on myself. I can't please myself. I'm determined not to give in though. If I can make it until Feb, then it will be one year, which is the longest I've gone since I first started. I have to make it.
I'm so nervous about the TWLOHA internship. I've been turned down by it before. There is really no reason why they can't turn me down again. Something that used to seem within my reach seems so far away now. I want this so badly, but it feels like it will be impossible for me to ever achieve it.