......this saddens me......
sadness:today was lakelands graduation...and for all those who were wondering..YES my brother pete DID graduate!!! A lot of us really thought he fuckked it up for himself, but no! he did it! So i was in the band for graduation. And then after, like, as most of you know, me and pete aren't too too close, but we've gotten closer lately, and when i went up to him after, he gave me a big hug and kissed me. I'm going to miss being "pete's little sister" and seeing him and his friends in the hall. Like, yeah he's going to college, but it's close so he's still gonna be home everyday, but still, it won't be the same. And after it was done, rae was like "were you crying?!" and i said no...but i kinda was. Like, the past 4 years have been complete hell with him, as most of my good friends know. We haven't exactly been "close" but he's really grown up, and hopefully he won't go back on that road again. I'm so happy for him that he graduated, but i still have so much anger towards him for those years. No kid should have to deal with that, i was 12, and i definitely should not have known so much...and i know im more mature because of it... and of course no one ever asks the younger sibling how they feel about whats going on. so there's still a lot that i want to get out, but i dont know who to tell that wont just be like "well atleast its over" , like no one really gets what really went on, someday if anyone asks..i think ill just let it all out....And I'm gonna miss becky soooooo much! Even though sometimes i'm like..."urrgrghgh becky"...she really is like an older sister. Who else have i stayed up with for 3 hours of talking about anything and everything with. So that was sad, and boy, can that girl cry! It's contageous! lol.
happiness:But then later, I went to Tina's sweet 16..which was so much fun! And her candles were so sweet! Even though she didn't have music ready for them, we all sang songs for each candle that we thought were appropriate ..lmao let's just say that we should all stick to dancing, and not singing! And then at 10 ish, i went to becky and petes graduation party..which i stayed at for like 20 mins, and then i was gonna go party-hopping with becky,pete,dan,justin, and a bunch of other ppl...but no...my mom felt she had to ruin my night. Because they're all staying out till tomorrow morning like 7 ish, and my dad said yes...but no, my mom had to to be a bittch about it...and this is the last weekend i can REALLLLYY have fun...because she's MAKING me work at that camp...which is so fuukkkkkkkeeeddd up because she knew i was miserable at it last year...i like little kids and all, but damn, i wanted to die everyday last year. So im gonna try and get out of it, because thats really going to ruin my summer. And now im gonna go and just lay in bed and think.....
...it's funny how fast things go by....and im so relieved he actually graduated....and as for my boys...i realized tonight that most likely, nothings gonna happen...and that sucks..but hey..what am i gonna do...i cant keep dwelling on this whole "maybe theres a chance he likes me" "no..i dont think he does" whole thing...people need to be more straightforward!!...evn though this sucks =( and OH YEAHHHH **** if anyone wants to go to the beach or do something fun tomorrow...CALL ME!!! because i want to get like a huge group of people to hang out**********
<3 I love you (if anyones reading this lol)
~~Kris~~