(no subject)
just been looking at my m8s website and i found this >:oD
WHAT IS A TOWNIE?
Also known as trendies, preps and scallies. They're
everywhere, and you either hate them or...are one. They're the ones in
beige skin-tight circulation stopping trousers that are two sizes too small
and shoes that are so big and rubbery that they bounce rather than walk
normally.
THE SOPHISTICATED TRENDY:
The most common disguise is white hipsters and synthetic, bright pink boob
tubes, with plastic stilettos and an obviously fake leather jacket they
bought/stole for 10 pounds/nothing in the sale in the local market. If you
should happen upon one of these, which, if your neighbourhood is anything
like mine, you most certainly will, take precaution and stand at a far
distance. Otherwise, the toxins from the huge amounts of hairspray holding
their ponytails up as high as possible is bound to have some lasting effects
on you, none of them good. This disguise works best, as it is hard to
recognise them under the layers of orange foundation and lip liner. The male
versions of this kind wear Pinstripe trousers and polo-necks, Tank tops or
Ben Sherman shirts, and have a random blob of hair gel with no apparent use
positioned somewhere over their fringe. These trendies are the ones who walk
down the street waving their mobile phones in the air for all to see and be
jealous of (and it works, honest).
THE HARD TRENDY:
These are the trendies who offer themselves as walking adverts for
sports companies everywhere. They too have huge amounts of hairspray, but are
likely to wear less makeup. The boys have all shaved their heads at least
once and / or bleached it like Eminem. They chew gum a lot, and you will know
them from far off because of their posture. If standing, there will probably
be a group of them around a bus stop / shop doorway / park bench / some
swings. They slump their heads, have a permanent glare, and for some reason
stick their chins out like someone is pulling a string attached to their jaw.
It is also more than likely they will be holding a cigarette but not smoking
it properly. These trendies are those most likely to hurl abuse at people
like myself across the street, for being different to themselves. Most common
insults given to boys are all variations of the label gay, for example
homeboy, queer, nancy etc. Girls will receive dyke, slapper, and, if like
myself, freak, grungey or goth. Beware: it is good for their reputations to
fight a lot, so they are looking for excuses to beat you up. Thus they must
hunt for their prey. One of their hunting techniques is to stare at a random
person, usually someone younger than them / more intelligent than them /
different from them. Then, when the person glances at them and wonders why
they are staring, they will say, "What are you looking at? You starting?" and
proceed with their popularity gaining antics. Another trick is to, again,
choose a random person, and then quickly make something up like, "Jaye said
you've been talking about me? What you been saying about my mother? I heard a
rumour goin' round that you wanna start on me" and then beat them up. This
technique is good, because after beating the person up, they can then say -
"Jaye, why'd you say she'd been talking about me / my mother? You trying to
start something?" and then beat her up. However, do not despair, because
these trendies threaten on average 20 people a day, and usually only get
around to carrying out 3 of these threats.
THE ALTERNATIVE FASHION TRENDY:
One thing I must make clear is that these trendies do not really dress in
alternative clothing. Also, the fact that they are wearing flares and
bandannas will not stop them shouting at any realhippies that may walk by.
They will attempt certain looks - for example, the skater look, the rock
chick look and the bohemian babe look. However, they will never be able to
pull any of these looks off. The easiest way to differentiate between an
alternative fashion trendy and an actual person of alternative fashion is
that trendies will usually wear a top saying, "rock chick," "hippy chick" or
"urban chick." The genuine article will not wear anything like this. Also,
once you have found one person wearing one of these, anyone else around
dressed like that is likely to be a trendy too, as when the rock look comes
in to fashion those who were into it before will usually stop dressing that
way.
A common aspect of all types of trendy is chunky, fake gold jewellery. The
girls wear 8 pairs of huge hooped earrings, and gold crucifixes as an attempt
at being holy, but then if you go to a religious school / church you are then
a victim for being a "bible basher"... This phrase does not fit as "bible
basher" means devil worshipper, but how are they to know? The boys wear a
gold stud in one ear (and if it's the wrong ear then you're gay) and chunky
"chains" round their necks. Both sexes wear huge rings with coins stuck to
them with cheap glue.
QUESTIONS TRENDIES ASK US:
You're a virgin aren't you?
YOU drink alcohol?! But you're too busy doing homework and stuff...
Do you like dressing like that? (No, I hate it...)
Are you a dyke?
Are you gay?
YOU swear?!
You take drugs don't you?
Don't you like Adidas? What do you wear then?!
THINGS TRENDIES SHOULD KNOW:
If someone is a goth, they ARE goths, Thus calling them goths, gothics or
gothos will not insult them.
Just because we don't sit in bus stops drinking lemon hooch doesn't
mean we don't go out.
Adidas is NOT a designer label. Neither is Tommy Hilfiger, Kappa or Ben
Sherman.
All people dressed differently than you are not gay, hippies or freaks.
9-year-olds smoking is ridiculous, not cool.
Walking like the hanger is still in your coat does not look hard.
Neither does spitting, quoting Eminem lyrics, shaving your head or talking
like you have a brick up your arse.
Wearing a gold coin on your finger does not make you look rich.
It's not a medallion or a chain, it's a necklace. Get over it.
Being looked at is not an excuse to start a fight.
Working in McDonalds is not a preferable ambition.
I hate to point this out, but you're all wearing the same outfit.
The lyrics to The Backstreet Boys' songs are not deep. Nor is Ronan Keating
good looking.
Trying to sing like Christina or Beyonce will not do your common accent any
good.
It's not cool to fail all your subjects. Those who pass are not swots who
have no life - they're the people you'll be packing shopping bags for when
you leave school.
Too much hairspray will kill you.
Buying fake Tommy Hilfiger aftershave will not make you irresistible.
Being good at PE is not an academic achievement.
Just because your trainers and shell suit are the same brand doesn't mean the
colours can't clash.
Luminous trainers don't go with ANYTHING.
Having competitions to see who can go the longest without
breathing whilst consuming the most phlegm of an unintelligent 12 year old
outside the school gates does not make us jealous.
Tight combat trousers and coq sportif polo shirts are not skater wear.
Chunky gold is horrible, not classy
i found it funny... did you ?
WHAT IS A TOWNIE?
Also known as trendies, preps and scallies. They're
everywhere, and you either hate them or...are one. They're the ones in
beige skin-tight circulation stopping trousers that are two sizes too small
and shoes that are so big and rubbery that they bounce rather than walk
normally.
THE SOPHISTICATED TRENDY:
The most common disguise is white hipsters and synthetic, bright pink boob
tubes, with plastic stilettos and an obviously fake leather jacket they
bought/stole for 10 pounds/nothing in the sale in the local market. If you
should happen upon one of these, which, if your neighbourhood is anything
like mine, you most certainly will, take precaution and stand at a far
distance. Otherwise, the toxins from the huge amounts of hairspray holding
their ponytails up as high as possible is bound to have some lasting effects
on you, none of them good. This disguise works best, as it is hard to
recognise them under the layers of orange foundation and lip liner. The male
versions of this kind wear Pinstripe trousers and polo-necks, Tank tops or
Ben Sherman shirts, and have a random blob of hair gel with no apparent use
positioned somewhere over their fringe. These trendies are the ones who walk
down the street waving their mobile phones in the air for all to see and be
jealous of (and it works, honest).
THE HARD TRENDY:
These are the trendies who offer themselves as walking adverts for
sports companies everywhere. They too have huge amounts of hairspray, but are
likely to wear less makeup. The boys have all shaved their heads at least
once and / or bleached it like Eminem. They chew gum a lot, and you will know
them from far off because of their posture. If standing, there will probably
be a group of them around a bus stop / shop doorway / park bench / some
swings. They slump their heads, have a permanent glare, and for some reason
stick their chins out like someone is pulling a string attached to their jaw.
It is also more than likely they will be holding a cigarette but not smoking
it properly. These trendies are those most likely to hurl abuse at people
like myself across the street, for being different to themselves. Most common
insults given to boys are all variations of the label gay, for example
homeboy, queer, nancy etc. Girls will receive dyke, slapper, and, if like
myself, freak, grungey or goth. Beware: it is good for their reputations to
fight a lot, so they are looking for excuses to beat you up. Thus they must
hunt for their prey. One of their hunting techniques is to stare at a random
person, usually someone younger than them / more intelligent than them /
different from them. Then, when the person glances at them and wonders why
they are staring, they will say, "What are you looking at? You starting?" and
proceed with their popularity gaining antics. Another trick is to, again,
choose a random person, and then quickly make something up like, "Jaye said
you've been talking about me? What you been saying about my mother? I heard a
rumour goin' round that you wanna start on me" and then beat them up. This
technique is good, because after beating the person up, they can then say -
"Jaye, why'd you say she'd been talking about me / my mother? You trying to
start something?" and then beat her up. However, do not despair, because
these trendies threaten on average 20 people a day, and usually only get
around to carrying out 3 of these threats.
THE ALTERNATIVE FASHION TRENDY:
One thing I must make clear is that these trendies do not really dress in
alternative clothing. Also, the fact that they are wearing flares and
bandannas will not stop them shouting at any realhippies that may walk by.
They will attempt certain looks - for example, the skater look, the rock
chick look and the bohemian babe look. However, they will never be able to
pull any of these looks off. The easiest way to differentiate between an
alternative fashion trendy and an actual person of alternative fashion is
that trendies will usually wear a top saying, "rock chick," "hippy chick" or
"urban chick." The genuine article will not wear anything like this. Also,
once you have found one person wearing one of these, anyone else around
dressed like that is likely to be a trendy too, as when the rock look comes
in to fashion those who were into it before will usually stop dressing that
way.
A common aspect of all types of trendy is chunky, fake gold jewellery. The
girls wear 8 pairs of huge hooped earrings, and gold crucifixes as an attempt
at being holy, but then if you go to a religious school / church you are then
a victim for being a "bible basher"... This phrase does not fit as "bible
basher" means devil worshipper, but how are they to know? The boys wear a
gold stud in one ear (and if it's the wrong ear then you're gay) and chunky
"chains" round their necks. Both sexes wear huge rings with coins stuck to
them with cheap glue.
QUESTIONS TRENDIES ASK US:
You're a virgin aren't you?
YOU drink alcohol?! But you're too busy doing homework and stuff...
Do you like dressing like that? (No, I hate it...)
Are you a dyke?
Are you gay?
YOU swear?!
You take drugs don't you?
Don't you like Adidas? What do you wear then?!
THINGS TRENDIES SHOULD KNOW:
If someone is a goth, they ARE goths, Thus calling them goths, gothics or
gothos will not insult them.
Just because we don't sit in bus stops drinking lemon hooch doesn't
mean we don't go out.
Adidas is NOT a designer label. Neither is Tommy Hilfiger, Kappa or Ben
Sherman.
All people dressed differently than you are not gay, hippies or freaks.
9-year-olds smoking is ridiculous, not cool.
Walking like the hanger is still in your coat does not look hard.
Neither does spitting, quoting Eminem lyrics, shaving your head or talking
like you have a brick up your arse.
Wearing a gold coin on your finger does not make you look rich.
It's not a medallion or a chain, it's a necklace. Get over it.
Being looked at is not an excuse to start a fight.
Working in McDonalds is not a preferable ambition.
I hate to point this out, but you're all wearing the same outfit.
The lyrics to The Backstreet Boys' songs are not deep. Nor is Ronan Keating
good looking.
Trying to sing like Christina or Beyonce will not do your common accent any
good.
It's not cool to fail all your subjects. Those who pass are not swots who
have no life - they're the people you'll be packing shopping bags for when
you leave school.
Too much hairspray will kill you.
Buying fake Tommy Hilfiger aftershave will not make you irresistible.
Being good at PE is not an academic achievement.
Just because your trainers and shell suit are the same brand doesn't mean the
colours can't clash.
Luminous trainers don't go with ANYTHING.
Having competitions to see who can go the longest without
breathing whilst consuming the most phlegm of an unintelligent 12 year old
outside the school gates does not make us jealous.
Tight combat trousers and coq sportif polo shirts are not skater wear.
Chunky gold is horrible, not classy
i found it funny... did you ?