yep

Oct 23, 2007 21:35

I felt like I should write about it, but I'm not sure what to write. And I'm not sure I even want to talk about it. Writing usually helps, but I don't even know where to begin ( Read more... )

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embrassemoi October 24 2007, 04:11:15 UTC
Aw. Danedane. If there's anything I can do, Honey, let me know. (And feel special, cos there are a select few for whom I use that appellation! hah) Even if it's helping you find a new one. Not that I think you'd want that. I just mean, that whatever you think you need, I'm supportive of. ::pets for you::

I'd probably let the myspace thing lie. If he wants to talk, fine.. if not, I guess you should maybe try to focus on yourself, as difficult as it is. My therapist suggested exercise to take my mind off of boy and other anxiety. Perhaps hitting the CC or complex gym (if you have either) would be beneficial. Additional hugs.

Keep breathing.

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lost_in_epcot October 24 2007, 21:29:10 UTC
I've been doing a little better every day :)

it's basically in the morning and at night that I feel the worst. I think it's cause I used to talk to him at night, and I miss that now. But thank you so much...excercise is an awesome idea, I wish I could afford to dance again. I'll try just going for walks, maybe?

Dane <3 K

enough about MY boy, how are you doing?

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embrassemoi October 25 2007, 15:59:15 UTC
Aw. I'm glad you're doing a little better.

I understand. I miss mine in the mornings and nights too. I used to wake up every morning to about ten "I love you!"s and as we are now, I definitely don't even get a "Hi" or "I still think about you" etc. I feel icky and have taken to avoiding waking up. It's doing hell to my sleep schedule. Walks might be a good idea. If your CC has a track or some kind of sports field, you could run it. I remember our old one had that, and a weight room. I've been dragging myself to the uni gym of late.

I've been writing a little about him of late. Sigh.

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lost_in_epcot October 25 2007, 23:36:53 UTC
I hope it's makinig you feel better to run and go to the gym and such. I'm sorry things have changed between you and Fred. I hope that things change again for the better. I think about it a lot :/ I don't like seeing you sad...so I really hope things are helping out. Miss you <3

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embrassemoi October 26 2007, 14:05:47 UTC
I dunno if it's helping or not. I seem to feel better to a point, and then it just all gets bad again. I'm sorry that things have changed between me and Fred, too. I just.. keep feeling awful and wondering what I did to suddenly become so bad, so unlovable. I remember the things he used to say to me and .. now he just calls me weekly when he's drunk.. tells me he wants to die.. tells me "No, I made that up to hurt you.." I feel almost like I deserve that he says "Talk you you later" when I say "I love you" since I ignored him when he said it so long. But I tried so hard not to hurt him.

I keep trying to tell him to just come over and let me hold him.. he doesn't even say "No, I can't." or "I don't want to."

He just says nothing. He said he wasn't dumping me, damnit.

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