Oiy

[lost_in_dreamz]

Well another wonderful weekend behind me and a long week ahead of me. I seriously hope that insanity doesnt run in the family....of course Im speaking of my mother. Ok lets do a quick run down about my mother. Let me say first that I love her more than anything in this world and I want nothing more than to see her happy. My mum and I moved to canada when I was only 7 and about a year later my dad left ..since then I have been in the middle of everything..every fight between them. I was used to get back at my dad, lied to him and resented her for it. Well enough was enough and I moved out when I was 19. I didnt take long for me to miss her and when I called to say I was taking a year off she yelled at me and hung up on me...it was my 20th birthday. Ever since then she's had a real bitterness about me living with my dad. So this weekend she calls me there already pissed that Im there and not visiting her and then I tell her Ive gotten my old job back and she LOSES IT. I wont get into the details..but basically Im the worst daughter in the world. I wish sometimes that I could just let everything go..everyone could just fuck off. I feel like Im going to be torn in two over this shit...my head is going to explode and my heart is going to tear in two...

Im sorry I cant be perfect...