drabble: The Con [LOST: Sawyer/Kate]
Title: The Con
Fandom;Pairing: Lost; Sawyer-centric (with a side helping of Skate and Suliet)
Rating: Harmless. Even for Sawyer. JJ, Damon, & Carlton own all.
Summary: mid-season 5. Sawyer contemplates his new life in Dharmaville including what he has now and what he has left behind.
A/N: It feels good to write because I haven't in so long. Be gentle and give me love. Enjoy.
The Con
He wears a mask by daylight. On most days he almost fools himself into believing that this happy little Dharma life is the real thing. After all, it isn't so bad being the man in charge for a change and coming home to a beautiful, faithful woman. No, he was pretty sure he could live this lie--this con-- for the rest of his life without a second thought.
But in that supposed place of bliss, the mask slips. He tries to be La Fleur for Juliet, knowing all she'd given up to stay behind with him. She has his back. But he finds himself struggling to have hers. When had the subtle change occurred? When had he grown discontent with waking up to blonde hair splayed across the pillow next to him?
It was with the night that brought unease and a distinct longing. For what he was. For what was. For her. Freckles. She haunts him like a phantom pain, there, but not there. He finds himself reaching out for her in dreams only to wake to Juliet. He wants to scream, to hurt something, but always checks himself. That was Sawyer talking. He was La Fleur now and he dealt with problems in a more diplomatic manner.
And yet, he finds himself watching Juliet through the fogged glass of their shower. Her wet hair is almost that elusive shade of chocolate he so longs to feel beneath his fingers once more. In that moment, he knows it won't last any yet there is nothing he can do. She wasn't coming back. Hell, even if she did, she'd be thirty years too late.
The hardest thing, James discovers, is conning himself.
Fandom;Pairing: Lost; Sawyer-centric (with a side helping of Skate and Suliet)
Rating: Harmless. Even for Sawyer. JJ, Damon, & Carlton own all.
Summary: mid-season 5. Sawyer contemplates his new life in Dharmaville including what he has now and what he has left behind.
A/N: It feels good to write because I haven't in so long. Be gentle and give me love. Enjoy.
The Con
He wears a mask by daylight. On most days he almost fools himself into believing that this happy little Dharma life is the real thing. After all, it isn't so bad being the man in charge for a change and coming home to a beautiful, faithful woman. No, he was pretty sure he could live this lie--this con-- for the rest of his life without a second thought.
But in that supposed place of bliss, the mask slips. He tries to be La Fleur for Juliet, knowing all she'd given up to stay behind with him. She has his back. But he finds himself struggling to have hers. When had the subtle change occurred? When had he grown discontent with waking up to blonde hair splayed across the pillow next to him?
It was with the night that brought unease and a distinct longing. For what he was. For what was. For her. Freckles. She haunts him like a phantom pain, there, but not there. He finds himself reaching out for her in dreams only to wake to Juliet. He wants to scream, to hurt something, but always checks himself. That was Sawyer talking. He was La Fleur now and he dealt with problems in a more diplomatic manner.
And yet, he finds himself watching Juliet through the fogged glass of their shower. Her wet hair is almost that elusive shade of chocolate he so longs to feel beneath his fingers once more. In that moment, he knows it won't last any yet there is nothing he can do. She wasn't coming back. Hell, even if she did, she'd be thirty years too late.
The hardest thing, James discovers, is conning himself.