Hearts on Fire - ch.05
Jun was waiting for Sho in Sho's room to be sure to talk to him as soon as he came back. He looked out of the window and watched the birds flying through the blue sky. Some weeks ago he had wished to be as free as that bird. Now, he had realized that he had to follow rules, that were important for maintaining the social structure. It was probably better to be guided by some rules, though it shouldn't be the way that people are not able to decide by themselves. He was interrupted by Sho, who entered the room. “Jun, what are you doing here?”, he asked surprised, but not mad. “I want to talk to you, if you have time...” Jun answered. “Ma-chan, you know that I always have time for you”, Sho smiled at Jun and sat down on the window sill. Jun didn't smile back, because he knew that they were going to have a serious conversation which would also cause uneasy feelings for Sho. He decided to start with it immediately. “I just went to the stables because I was searching for you...” Sho's face didn't show any movement, but Jun knew his brother good enough to know that he was shocked. Sho kept silent for some seconds. Then he looked at Jun. “Then you know it?!” Jun nodded. “What do you think about it?” Sho asked Jun, studying his bothers' face carefully. Somehow, Jun got the feeling that this conversation wasn't about Sho anymore. “Well...you both looked very happy...” Sho just kept looking at him. “And...you looked like as if Aiba is very precious to you...” Jun went on and Sho nodded. “He is not just precious. He is the most precious person to me. I would do everything just to see him smiling and I will protect him with my life”, Sho said seriously. Jun was captured by those words. His brother was dead-serious about it. “How did you find out about your feelings for him?” Jun asked finally. “I felt a tingle in my stomach the first time I saw him. I felt that I want to embrace him and protect him from everything. I wanted to see his happy face every day, and I wished I could kiss those wonderful lips. I wanted to hear him calling me “Sho”, not “Master”. I felt like I'd die of happiness the moment he touched my skin accidentally. When I was lying in my bed at night I wanted to feel his warm body right beside me...” Jun nodded without wanting to do it. “In the beginning I fought against this feeling. I thought it was wrong to have such feelings when I'm thinking about a man. But even though I tried to bury those feelings, they didn't get weaker. Every time I saw Aiba I wanted him to be mine. So in the end I thought I'd go crazy if I wouldn't come up with a solution soon. My body and my heart wanted to have Aiba. Just my mind said “No!”...”, Sho stopped. Jun was hanging on his lips. “But obviously you changed your mind”, Jun said, giving Sho a point to start talking again. “Well, I just ignored what my brain was telling me and followed my heart and my body.” “What did you do?”, Jun wanted to know. “I kissed him”, Sho answered with a smile. “What? Just out of the blue? How did you know that he wanted it too?” Jun's face showed a shocked expression, which made it hard for Sho to stay serious. “I didn't know. I just did what my heart and my body was telling me. And in my situation it was the best thing I could have done, because Aiba kissed me back.” Jun looked out of the window again. He had heard these words before. Nino had given him the advice to follow his heart, and now Sho told him that this really works...
“Was that what you wanted to talk about?” Sho got Jun's attention back. “Ah...yeah, it was...”, Jun mumbled. “Thanks, Sho-chan!”, he added more clearly then. “Sure. Actually I'm glad that you found out about it. I felt really bad for not telling you. But I didn't had the courage. I'm really sorry!” This was the first time in this conversation that Sho looked really uneasy. “Don't worry! I'm not mad. I can understand you.” Jun tried to make his brother feel better. He really wasn't mad at Sho. He wasn't sure about what he would have done in such a situation, but he was glad that his brother had talked about it with him now. “See you tomorrow then. Have a good night!” Jun hugged his brother and left for his own room. Sho smiled. “Good luck, Ma-chan!”, he whispered when Jun closed the door. He knew that Jun had had something else in mind when he wanted to talk to him, because he had searched for him in the stable to have a talk with him, so there must have been something else which was on his mind. And Sho was sure that it had something to do with Ohno. That was why he had described his feelings in such a detail. He wanted Jun to realize that it didn't matter which gender the person he had fallen in love with was, as long as his heart had decided for that person. Since he had met Aiba, he was deeply convinced that this was the truth.
When Jun arrived at his room he was still thinking about Sho's words. As always his brother had found the right words. They suited his situation perfectly though Sho had just been talking about himself. How did he do that?
While being in thoughts that deeply he ran into Ohno after closing his door. “Master! I'm sorry!” Ohno started to apologize. “No.” Jun interrupted him. “I didn't pay attention to where I'm going. I should be the one to apologize. I'll sit down on this chair to be out of your way.” Jun added, smiling softly at Ohno, who immediately blushed. And again Jun felt the tingle in his stomach and the warmth running through his body just because he saw Ohno. He sat down on the chair and kept watching his servant preparing his room for the night. Though Ohno might look as if he doesn't know what to do, his movements were in order and perfect. Everything he did ended in a perfect result. But Jun didn't really care about that at the moment. Since he watched Ohno's little hands working on the blanket. He had to get on his toes to be able to open the window to let in some fresh air, which made him even cuter in Jun's eyes. He filled the bowl with the warm water, which Jun uses to wash and spilled a little bit of it. He whipped it from his fingers and licked it off. A little drop stayed on his upper lip and was sparkling for Jun's eyes. All he wanted was to kiss this drop away from those wonderful, cute lips. What did Sho and Nino told him? Follow your heart and your body! And his heart and body kept telling him to go to Ohno and take him into his arms to kiss the drop away. So he couldn't help anymore. He stood up and walked towards Ohno who turned around in surprise. But before Ohno could react Jun put his arms around him and placed his lips above Ohno's. They were as soft as Jun had imagined the whole time and tasted like strawberry. Ohno's body felt warm against his own. Jun felt fireworks exploding in his body. Then he felt Ohno moving in his arms and broke the kiss. He opened his eyes and looked at his servant. Ohno's eyes were wide opened and his cheeks were red. “I wish you a good night, master!” Ohno said quickly and stormed towards the door. Before Jun had been able to realize what was happening, Ohno had left the room. Jun fell down on his knees. What had he done? He had kissed somebody against his will. The way Ohno had behaved just now had clearly showed him that he did not appreciate the kiss. Jun let his head fall onto the ground too. He wanted to die. He couldn't face Ohno tomorrow. He felt like the biggest idiot ever. And additionally, he felt a big hole in his chest, as if somebody had took his heart away. He felt numb and disorientated. All he wanted was to fall asleep and never wake up again. So he stood up and let himself fall into his bed. He didn't bother about washing or changing clothes since he had no intention to get up again tomorrow morning.
Ohno leaned against the door he had just closed behind him. His heart was still racing and his lips were burning from the touch of Jun's full lips. He couldn't explain his behaviour. Being kissed by Jun was what he had wished for. When he had felt Jun's lips on his own he had felt his heart exploding. He had been overwhelmed by his feelings, which was probably the reason why he escaped. But this had been the worst reaction he could have shown. Jun had finally kissed him and he had run away. What should he do now?
Jun could hear the household waking up. The cook started to prepare the breakfast and the others got ready for the day. But Jun had decided to never leave the bed again. He would act as if he was ill and could stay in bed...forever. He could hear his door being opened. He closed his eyes quickly. Although he knew who had been coming in right now he hoped that it was not Ohno. Jun pretended to be asleep while he was thinking about how to react. If he would be in Ohno's shoes, he wouldn't even come to wake him.
Suddenly he felt something warm and soft on his lips, something that tasted slightly like strawberry. It couldn't be...could it? Jun opened his eyes. He could clearly see Ohno's face in front of his own. Ohno broke the kiss and straightened himself up again. “Good morning, master!”, he said, softly smiling as always. “It's time to get up!” With these words ,he turned around and left the room so that Jun could get dressed. As on the evening before, Ohno leaned against the door he had just closed. Again, his heart was racing in his chest. But different from yesterday he felt the flame burning in his heart. Yesterday he couldn't feel the warmth in his heart, but today it was spreading through his chest. He still had Jun's taste on his lips. He tasted slightly like lemon. How did Jun react just now? Did he like it? Ohno wasn't sure about it. He decided that he'll see sooner or later, and that it would be better to fulfill his duty instead of blocking Jun's door for any longer.
Meanwhile, Jun felt like he was jumping from one cloud to another. He felt light as a feather. He felt as if lightnings were running through his whole body. Ohno had kissed him just now. He still could feel the warmth of his lips on his own. That Ohno kissed him was obviously a sign that he was not mad at him. Jun jumped out of his bed and changed quickly. He felt very hungry, so he took the stairs to the base, taking two steps at once. He opened the door to the dining room. “Ohaiyou!” he chirped. Sho smiled seeing his little brother like this. Whatever had happened since yesterday, it must be something very good. “Good job, Ma-chan!” he murmured into his cup of tea.