confusion seems to be my most popular state of mind
My mind is so over flooded
There hasn't been a minute in which my mind has been clear
I can't stop thinking. thinking about everything
There is to much going on
I want so bad to be happy and yet I can't
There isn't a time within the 24 hour days that I am not thinking about something
So many things are on my mind but there is something that seems to have found a comfortable sitting spot and is just relaxing there. it is nagging at me, driving me insane
at this point i don't even know what to do anymore
It is all my fault, and I know that.
I feel so bad and it is truly killing me.
I'm sure everyone hates knowing that someone hates or is mad at them and I am no exception.
This wouldn't kill me so much if it weren't people that I loved so much that were against me.
I am already beating myself up over it but knowing that people are disappointed at me is just further tearing me apart. At this point I don't know what to do or if there is even anything that I could do.
It was a huge mistake, and I take full responsibility for it, it was wrong.
I totally understand that person being mad at me.
I can't stop thinking about it and how much I ruined a good friendship with an amazing person.
Everyone says things and i know that doesn't make anything ok, but I don't know.........
We all make mistakes..
Life wouldn't be life if we ourselves didn't make mistakes as well as forgive others for their mistakes.
I hate that I hurt you and betrayed you and I hate that all of this was my fault.
I should personally know how harmful and hurtful words can be and, yet I am stupid enough to do it myself.
It's sad that i witness incidents like this where people talk about others and to think that I myself fell to that level is just ridiculousness.
From this point on I am putting everything I have forward to never do this again.
I actually started to cry last night..me..I NEVER EVER cry.. so why know..I wish I had an answer.
I would do anything to gain the people that I disappointed and hurt back.
I wish I could just shut my mind off and just have a moment where my mind isn't all over the place
Everyone reacts to things differently, and I always knew this but, now i know for certain.
Not everyone reacts to things like me and that i guess is a good and bad thing
I am not ready to loose this friend and that is the only reason why this won't leave me alone.
I can't stand myself right now.
I am not like that, I don't do things like that and yet, I did and to someone that didn't deserve it.
I really am a bitch
I can't for the life of my figure myself out..is that the whole purpose of life, the game..we don't figure ourselves out until the last breath we take..idk
Please let me fine a way to make this decent at least..
Don't you ever wish that you could just grab a bottle of white out and just white this out..or that you could rewind back to things..
Things were actually going really good, it was bound that something bad was going to happen, I should have known that!
I'm sorry to everyone I have hurt in my life whether it be unintentionally, in my sarcastic humor, or in the moment where I lack judgement and am obviously not thinking, and many other times.
This has taught me a lot and that is what we are supposed to do right? make mistakes and learn from them,
It is just sad that this is what it took for me to open up my eyes.
I love you... more than you'll ever know
I am changing my ways and it's all because of your help..I thank you.
You where always there for me, more so than others and how do I repay you? by hurting you and ruining everything. I don't even know anymore..I'm am so confused. I haven't been this confused in years.
I haven't written in this in a while, but at this point this seems to be the only way for myself to convey anything. written words seem to be the only way i can get things out these days. spoken words just don't work for me, actually they never really have..i really need to start letting things out cause my mind and my body are getting weak.
There hasn't been a minute in which my mind has been clear
I can't stop thinking. thinking about everything
There is to much going on
I want so bad to be happy and yet I can't
There isn't a time within the 24 hour days that I am not thinking about something
So many things are on my mind but there is something that seems to have found a comfortable sitting spot and is just relaxing there. it is nagging at me, driving me insane
at this point i don't even know what to do anymore
It is all my fault, and I know that.
I feel so bad and it is truly killing me.
I'm sure everyone hates knowing that someone hates or is mad at them and I am no exception.
This wouldn't kill me so much if it weren't people that I loved so much that were against me.
I am already beating myself up over it but knowing that people are disappointed at me is just further tearing me apart. At this point I don't know what to do or if there is even anything that I could do.
It was a huge mistake, and I take full responsibility for it, it was wrong.
I totally understand that person being mad at me.
I can't stop thinking about it and how much I ruined a good friendship with an amazing person.
Everyone says things and i know that doesn't make anything ok, but I don't know.........
We all make mistakes..
Life wouldn't be life if we ourselves didn't make mistakes as well as forgive others for their mistakes.
I hate that I hurt you and betrayed you and I hate that all of this was my fault.
I should personally know how harmful and hurtful words can be and, yet I am stupid enough to do it myself.
It's sad that i witness incidents like this where people talk about others and to think that I myself fell to that level is just ridiculousness.
From this point on I am putting everything I have forward to never do this again.
I actually started to cry last night..me..I NEVER EVER cry.. so why know..I wish I had an answer.
I would do anything to gain the people that I disappointed and hurt back.
I wish I could just shut my mind off and just have a moment where my mind isn't all over the place
Everyone reacts to things differently, and I always knew this but, now i know for certain.
Not everyone reacts to things like me and that i guess is a good and bad thing
I am not ready to loose this friend and that is the only reason why this won't leave me alone.
I can't stand myself right now.
I am not like that, I don't do things like that and yet, I did and to someone that didn't deserve it.
I really am a bitch
I can't for the life of my figure myself out..is that the whole purpose of life, the game..we don't figure ourselves out until the last breath we take..idk
Please let me fine a way to make this decent at least..
Don't you ever wish that you could just grab a bottle of white out and just white this out..or that you could rewind back to things..
Things were actually going really good, it was bound that something bad was going to happen, I should have known that!
I'm sorry to everyone I have hurt in my life whether it be unintentionally, in my sarcastic humor, or in the moment where I lack judgement and am obviously not thinking, and many other times.
This has taught me a lot and that is what we are supposed to do right? make mistakes and learn from them,
It is just sad that this is what it took for me to open up my eyes.
I love you... more than you'll ever know
I am changing my ways and it's all because of your help..I thank you.
You where always there for me, more so than others and how do I repay you? by hurting you and ruining everything. I don't even know anymore..I'm am so confused. I haven't been this confused in years.
I haven't written in this in a while, but at this point this seems to be the only way for myself to convey anything. written words seem to be the only way i can get things out these days. spoken words just don't work for me, actually they never really have..i really need to start letting things out cause my mind and my body are getting weak.