Fan Fiction: Devotion
Fandom: LOST
Title: Devotion
Word Count: 2,352
Characters: Ben, Alex
Summary: Ben will do anything that it takes to see that his daughter is rescued. Even if it means committing the ultimate sacrifice.
Spoilers For: 4x08 & trailer for 4x09
-----------------------------------
“True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life, through devotion, to something beyond himself.”
- Henry Miller
It had been a trap.
All along, he’d known it had been a trap.
He’d set plenty of them in his time to be able to recognize one when he was being lured into it. He wasn’t a fool. From the moment he set eyes on Charlotte, he’d known what was soon to come. He knew what they were there for.
What do they want, Dad? Why are they here?
They’re here to find the source of the island’s power. That’s why they’ve come…and that’s why they’re searching for me.
Why don’t you just tell them? It’s not worth all this! They’re too strong - we can’t fight them!
No.
One thing Ben knew best about setting traps was that you always had to season it with a bit of bait first. Something enticing to the prey that you sought. Something that would lure it out into the open. Something that would prove to be a weakness.
It was the very reason he’d sent Alex away to find sanctuary at the Temple.
It was the very reason they ambushed her in the jungle.
They’d discovered his weakness. The second he’d heard her voice over the walkie crying for him, he’d known they’d gained the upperhand. He had to leave the camp that Locke and the others had set up as a stronghold. He had to go find his little girl and see that she was safely returned home.
No matter what the cost.
They’d been clever. They’d decided to play his game. They’d discovered his weakness.
His one weakness.
And they used it.
I’m so sorry, Dad. I’m sorry! I told them I was your daughter. I was just…I didn’t know what to do!
It’s alright.
They killed them! Rousseau….and Karl…they killed them!
I know.
I didn’t know what to do! I knew they were going to kill me too. I shouldn’t have told them.
Hush now, Alex. You did what you had to do. You survived. That is all I am concerned about. You had a bargaining chip and you used it. You’ve learned well.
But look what I’ve done. They’ve caught you now. Because of me!
No. It isn’t your fault. They knew who you were long before you revealed yourself to them. They knew you were my daughter - the one thing that would bring me to them. It isn’t your fault. Now dry your eyes - and rest.
They met out in a field. Out in the open - where there was nothing for either of them to hide behind. He’d come unarmed, as the captain had commanded. The captain had come with Alex in tow, as Ben had commanded.
For several long seconds, the two were in a silent face-off - Ben’s eyes cold as ice and the captain’s with triumphant pride gleaming in their depths.
“Daddy!”
Alex broke free of the captain’s hold and came running across the short distance to him. She fell into his arms, crying and trembling…and he held her. It had been a long time since his little girl had embraced him so fiercely. He stroked his hand along her hair and breathed a low, soothing sound into her ear as his arms tightened their hold around her. Though terrified, she did not seem to be harmed and the relief he felt wash over him at this knowledge surprised him.
Ben heard the sharp click of a gun being cocked and he looked up to see the captain leveling his gun directly against the back of Alex’ head.
“Let’s get you two back to camp, shall we?” he sneered, grabbing hold of his Alex’ arm and pulling her roughly away from him.
She made a sound of distress and reached for him, but he refused her contact. He would play by their rules. For now. Until he’d managed to get her safely out of their reach.
At which point, he was going to kill the man.
You’re shivering.
It’s really cold. How long are they going to keep us here?
I don’t know. Come sit over here. You’ll be warmer.
Dad.
Hm?
I’m scared.
It’s alright, Alex. Everything is going to be alright. I won’t let them hurt you.
They beat him while she watched.
It wasn’t exactly a new event. Certainly she’d been around to witness him grow bloodied and bruised on more than one occasion in the past few weeks. But in those cases, he’d noted that she always looked away. That she’d wince and bite her lip when she heard the blows fall. That she would try to act like she didn’t care - but that her stance would always betray her.
This was different, however. This time, she was held in place while again and again he was struck by the powerful blows of the captain’s fist. The pain didn’t entirely register with him - he’d learned to build a greater tolerance for it - but what did register were his little girl’s cries every time the next blow fell.
“Where is it?” the captain snarled in his face, striking a hard blow to his jaw that threatened to knock him straight off of his feet.
“No!” he heard Alex beg. “No, please stop!”
“Did you hear me? I said…where is it?”
In response, Ben simply spit a large glob of phlegm and blood on the man’s boot.
That encouraged an all new torrent of pummeling. Fists to his face and his gut. No more questions - simply the constant barrage of strikes and kicks.
One lucky blow managed to completely knock the wind out of him and he gave a sharp gasp as his knees gave out underneath him.
“Stay down,” he heard Alex scream, her voice breaking with a ragged sob as she struggled against her captor. “Daddy, please, stay down! Stay down! Leave him alone!”
But he ignored her. Blocked her from his thoughts. He braced his hands against the ground. Drew his legs under him. Climbed staggeringly to his feet. And stood his ground.
He would die for this island.
He would die for her.
Eventually the captain grew tired of beating him and cast them both into a cell.
Dad?
Yes?
I’m sorry I said that I hated you. I never meant it.
I know.
They remained in that dark cell of the Station the captain and his crew had found and set up as their temporary residence. Though he had no light to judge by, Ben guessed it to have been around twenty-four hours since they’d been placed in there. If he had judged things correctly, he guessed that it would not be much longer before they were pulled out of their cell again and a new interrogation session would begin.
And this time, he would be ready.
There was only one thing he had to worry about.
His Alex.
He heard the low, rumbling sound of her stomach growling from where she nestled sleeping against his chest. They’d not been given the decency of any food or water and he doubted they’d given her any before he’d arrived either. She was weakening and if this went on much longer it was going to make it impossible for her to escape when the time came.
It had to be soon.
He knew what he had to do.
Lowering his head, Ben placed a kiss against his girl’s dirt-smudged forehead, arms tightening their protective hold around her as she snuggled in closer to him.
I need for you to promise me something.
Yeah? What is it?
That you will get away from here. No matter what happens. No matter what happens to me. That you’ll get away from here and go find John Locke. He’ll take care of you until I can come for you.
What do you mean - ‘no matter what happens to me’? I’m not leaving you.
You will leave me. It will be much easier for me to escape if I don’t have you to worry about.
No.
Alex, I am not playing any games. If you want both of us to survive, you are going to promise me this.
I can’t.
Promise me!
…I promise.
They came for them several hours later. Just as he’d expected. Right on time.
One man entered the cell. He grabbed Alex by the arm and attempted to pull her away from Ben’s embrace. But she had one fist tightly knotted against his shirt and refused to let go, reminding him of how she use to cling to his pants leg when she was a small child.
“Don’t you be givin’ me any trouble now, girl,” the man growled, threateningly pulling out a handgun he’d kept tucked away in his belt.
“Go with him, Alex,” Ben spoke low to her, gently prying her away from him. He refused to look at her eyes - knew that if he did, he would be forced to hold onto her and never let her go.
The man jerked her upright, but she caught at Ben’s hand and her fingers laced between his, desperately holding onto him.
“Daddy, no! Please, don’t make me do this. I can’t.”
She was crying.
He felt his heart break.
“Go with him, Alex,” he snapped at her, forcing himself to turn a cold, firm stare in her direction. “Now.”
She blinked, startled by the frigidness of his tone and he felt her fingers slip through his. Her captor pulled her in the direction of the cell door, waving his gun towards Ben to come along. He rose from his place on the floor and followed after - bracing himself for what was to come.
Alex, do you remember when you were little? When you and Karl would play in the backyard?
You mean when I would like to pretend that I was a fairy princess? Yeah, I remember that. Karl would always be the bad guy. He would tie me up to the tree with that old rope we’d found. You were never very happy about that.
It wasn’t exactly the best of scenes for me to walk in on.
But I would always tell you that you had to come and play with us too. That you had to be the knight that rescued me.
Yes.
Things haven’t changed very much.
They were brought out into the early morning sun where the captain was waiting. He seemed to be rather disgruntled and Ben could only imagine he’d just received a call from his superior - likely very upset that he’d not yet been able to extract the information he was looking for. This brought him a certain level of pleasure as he calmly looked into the captain’s piercing eyes with his own.
Alex was brought stumbling over towards them by her guard and Ben noted that at least she’d managed to pull her last remnants of strength together.
“Alright then,” the burly captain spoke, lifting his gun in Ben’s direction so that it was at about chest-height to him. “I’m tired of asking this, so this will be the last chance that you have. Where…is the island’s…power source? If you don’t answer me, I have orders to kill your daughter. Right here and now. No more questions asked.”
“Kill her,” Ben said calmly and the wide-eyed stare Alex turned on him cut into his soul. “She is a casualty I am willing to take in order to protect our island. This is a war, after all. We must all make sacrifices.”
The captain blinked, clearly having not expected this response. His eyes narrowed and he cocked his gun. “Don’t test me, Benjamin. I will kill her just as sure as she stands here. And if she won’t make you tell us where the power source is - perhaps that Juliet woman will.”
But Ben didn’t respond. Simply kept a calm, neutral stare directed towards the man. In fact, there was the slightest hint of a smirk just forming alongside the corner of his thin lips.
The kind of look he gave when everything had played itself perfectly into his plans.
Do you think the others are going to make it off the island?
I don't know. It depends on if the island chooses to release them.
Oh.
Why?
Because if they do leave...I just wanted you to know that I'd like to stay with you.
The captain snarled with rage at Ben's stubbornness to break and swung his gun around to point at Alex.
It was exactly the movement Ben had been waiting for.
With a sudden burst of energy and force, he threw his body abruptly against the captain’s side, knocking him off his balance and down towards the ground. The gun went off as it went clattering across the ground and Ben was immediately on his knees, reaching for it even as the captain struggled to pull himself upright.
“Daddy!”
Snatching the weapon up from where it had come to rest, Ben wasted no time. With a calm, precise manner he cocked it, lifted it in Alex’ direction…and fired.
The bullet struck the guard behind her directly in the shoulder, making him roar with pain as he released Alex from his hold to clutch at his wound.
“Alex! Run!”
The captain cuffed Ben across the back of his head, making him roll back down towards the ground once more. The gun was loose in his grip as the man lunged for it, and they both grappled for control of the weapon.
“No! No, I’m not going to leave y--!”
Ben turned his eyes sharply on her.
“RUN!”
She sobbed and took off running just as the captain managed to pull the gun out of Ben’s hands. The butt of the weapon cracked sharply against the side of his face. The world swirled and blurred around him. A second later and he felt a boot planting itself firmly against his gut in a kick that winded him.
Out of the corner of his half-closed eyes, he could see Alex stop only momentarily to look back over her shoulder towards him, her eyes wide with tears and anguish. Then she was turning, that long black hair of hers flowing around her…and in another second, she’d vanished into the trees.
She was safe.
Above him, Ben could hear the Captain give a harsh snarl and he felt the cold metal of the gun press against his forehead.
Daddy. I love you.
I love you too, Alex.
Bang!
Title: Devotion
Word Count: 2,352
Characters: Ben, Alex
Summary: Ben will do anything that it takes to see that his daughter is rescued. Even if it means committing the ultimate sacrifice.
Spoilers For: 4x08 & trailer for 4x09
-----------------------------------
“True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life, through devotion, to something beyond himself.”
- Henry Miller
It had been a trap.
All along, he’d known it had been a trap.
He’d set plenty of them in his time to be able to recognize one when he was being lured into it. He wasn’t a fool. From the moment he set eyes on Charlotte, he’d known what was soon to come. He knew what they were there for.
What do they want, Dad? Why are they here?
They’re here to find the source of the island’s power. That’s why they’ve come…and that’s why they’re searching for me.
Why don’t you just tell them? It’s not worth all this! They’re too strong - we can’t fight them!
No.
One thing Ben knew best about setting traps was that you always had to season it with a bit of bait first. Something enticing to the prey that you sought. Something that would lure it out into the open. Something that would prove to be a weakness.
It was the very reason he’d sent Alex away to find sanctuary at the Temple.
It was the very reason they ambushed her in the jungle.
They’d discovered his weakness. The second he’d heard her voice over the walkie crying for him, he’d known they’d gained the upperhand. He had to leave the camp that Locke and the others had set up as a stronghold. He had to go find his little girl and see that she was safely returned home.
No matter what the cost.
They’d been clever. They’d decided to play his game. They’d discovered his weakness.
His one weakness.
And they used it.
I’m so sorry, Dad. I’m sorry! I told them I was your daughter. I was just…I didn’t know what to do!
It’s alright.
They killed them! Rousseau….and Karl…they killed them!
I know.
I didn’t know what to do! I knew they were going to kill me too. I shouldn’t have told them.
Hush now, Alex. You did what you had to do. You survived. That is all I am concerned about. You had a bargaining chip and you used it. You’ve learned well.
But look what I’ve done. They’ve caught you now. Because of me!
No. It isn’t your fault. They knew who you were long before you revealed yourself to them. They knew you were my daughter - the one thing that would bring me to them. It isn’t your fault. Now dry your eyes - and rest.
They met out in a field. Out in the open - where there was nothing for either of them to hide behind. He’d come unarmed, as the captain had commanded. The captain had come with Alex in tow, as Ben had commanded.
For several long seconds, the two were in a silent face-off - Ben’s eyes cold as ice and the captain’s with triumphant pride gleaming in their depths.
“Daddy!”
Alex broke free of the captain’s hold and came running across the short distance to him. She fell into his arms, crying and trembling…and he held her. It had been a long time since his little girl had embraced him so fiercely. He stroked his hand along her hair and breathed a low, soothing sound into her ear as his arms tightened their hold around her. Though terrified, she did not seem to be harmed and the relief he felt wash over him at this knowledge surprised him.
Ben heard the sharp click of a gun being cocked and he looked up to see the captain leveling his gun directly against the back of Alex’ head.
“Let’s get you two back to camp, shall we?” he sneered, grabbing hold of his Alex’ arm and pulling her roughly away from him.
She made a sound of distress and reached for him, but he refused her contact. He would play by their rules. For now. Until he’d managed to get her safely out of their reach.
At which point, he was going to kill the man.
You’re shivering.
It’s really cold. How long are they going to keep us here?
I don’t know. Come sit over here. You’ll be warmer.
Dad.
Hm?
I’m scared.
It’s alright, Alex. Everything is going to be alright. I won’t let them hurt you.
They beat him while she watched.
It wasn’t exactly a new event. Certainly she’d been around to witness him grow bloodied and bruised on more than one occasion in the past few weeks. But in those cases, he’d noted that she always looked away. That she’d wince and bite her lip when she heard the blows fall. That she would try to act like she didn’t care - but that her stance would always betray her.
This was different, however. This time, she was held in place while again and again he was struck by the powerful blows of the captain’s fist. The pain didn’t entirely register with him - he’d learned to build a greater tolerance for it - but what did register were his little girl’s cries every time the next blow fell.
“Where is it?” the captain snarled in his face, striking a hard blow to his jaw that threatened to knock him straight off of his feet.
“No!” he heard Alex beg. “No, please stop!”
“Did you hear me? I said…where is it?”
In response, Ben simply spit a large glob of phlegm and blood on the man’s boot.
That encouraged an all new torrent of pummeling. Fists to his face and his gut. No more questions - simply the constant barrage of strikes and kicks.
One lucky blow managed to completely knock the wind out of him and he gave a sharp gasp as his knees gave out underneath him.
“Stay down,” he heard Alex scream, her voice breaking with a ragged sob as she struggled against her captor. “Daddy, please, stay down! Stay down! Leave him alone!”
But he ignored her. Blocked her from his thoughts. He braced his hands against the ground. Drew his legs under him. Climbed staggeringly to his feet. And stood his ground.
He would die for this island.
He would die for her.
Eventually the captain grew tired of beating him and cast them both into a cell.
Dad?
Yes?
I’m sorry I said that I hated you. I never meant it.
I know.
They remained in that dark cell of the Station the captain and his crew had found and set up as their temporary residence. Though he had no light to judge by, Ben guessed it to have been around twenty-four hours since they’d been placed in there. If he had judged things correctly, he guessed that it would not be much longer before they were pulled out of their cell again and a new interrogation session would begin.
And this time, he would be ready.
There was only one thing he had to worry about.
His Alex.
He heard the low, rumbling sound of her stomach growling from where she nestled sleeping against his chest. They’d not been given the decency of any food or water and he doubted they’d given her any before he’d arrived either. She was weakening and if this went on much longer it was going to make it impossible for her to escape when the time came.
It had to be soon.
He knew what he had to do.
Lowering his head, Ben placed a kiss against his girl’s dirt-smudged forehead, arms tightening their protective hold around her as she snuggled in closer to him.
I need for you to promise me something.
Yeah? What is it?
That you will get away from here. No matter what happens. No matter what happens to me. That you’ll get away from here and go find John Locke. He’ll take care of you until I can come for you.
What do you mean - ‘no matter what happens to me’? I’m not leaving you.
You will leave me. It will be much easier for me to escape if I don’t have you to worry about.
No.
Alex, I am not playing any games. If you want both of us to survive, you are going to promise me this.
I can’t.
Promise me!
…I promise.
They came for them several hours later. Just as he’d expected. Right on time.
One man entered the cell. He grabbed Alex by the arm and attempted to pull her away from Ben’s embrace. But she had one fist tightly knotted against his shirt and refused to let go, reminding him of how she use to cling to his pants leg when she was a small child.
“Don’t you be givin’ me any trouble now, girl,” the man growled, threateningly pulling out a handgun he’d kept tucked away in his belt.
“Go with him, Alex,” Ben spoke low to her, gently prying her away from him. He refused to look at her eyes - knew that if he did, he would be forced to hold onto her and never let her go.
The man jerked her upright, but she caught at Ben’s hand and her fingers laced between his, desperately holding onto him.
“Daddy, no! Please, don’t make me do this. I can’t.”
She was crying.
He felt his heart break.
“Go with him, Alex,” he snapped at her, forcing himself to turn a cold, firm stare in her direction. “Now.”
She blinked, startled by the frigidness of his tone and he felt her fingers slip through his. Her captor pulled her in the direction of the cell door, waving his gun towards Ben to come along. He rose from his place on the floor and followed after - bracing himself for what was to come.
Alex, do you remember when you were little? When you and Karl would play in the backyard?
You mean when I would like to pretend that I was a fairy princess? Yeah, I remember that. Karl would always be the bad guy. He would tie me up to the tree with that old rope we’d found. You were never very happy about that.
It wasn’t exactly the best of scenes for me to walk in on.
But I would always tell you that you had to come and play with us too. That you had to be the knight that rescued me.
Yes.
Things haven’t changed very much.
They were brought out into the early morning sun where the captain was waiting. He seemed to be rather disgruntled and Ben could only imagine he’d just received a call from his superior - likely very upset that he’d not yet been able to extract the information he was looking for. This brought him a certain level of pleasure as he calmly looked into the captain’s piercing eyes with his own.
Alex was brought stumbling over towards them by her guard and Ben noted that at least she’d managed to pull her last remnants of strength together.
“Alright then,” the burly captain spoke, lifting his gun in Ben’s direction so that it was at about chest-height to him. “I’m tired of asking this, so this will be the last chance that you have. Where…is the island’s…power source? If you don’t answer me, I have orders to kill your daughter. Right here and now. No more questions asked.”
“Kill her,” Ben said calmly and the wide-eyed stare Alex turned on him cut into his soul. “She is a casualty I am willing to take in order to protect our island. This is a war, after all. We must all make sacrifices.”
The captain blinked, clearly having not expected this response. His eyes narrowed and he cocked his gun. “Don’t test me, Benjamin. I will kill her just as sure as she stands here. And if she won’t make you tell us where the power source is - perhaps that Juliet woman will.”
But Ben didn’t respond. Simply kept a calm, neutral stare directed towards the man. In fact, there was the slightest hint of a smirk just forming alongside the corner of his thin lips.
The kind of look he gave when everything had played itself perfectly into his plans.
Do you think the others are going to make it off the island?
I don't know. It depends on if the island chooses to release them.
Oh.
Why?
Because if they do leave...I just wanted you to know that I'd like to stay with you.
The captain snarled with rage at Ben's stubbornness to break and swung his gun around to point at Alex.
It was exactly the movement Ben had been waiting for.
With a sudden burst of energy and force, he threw his body abruptly against the captain’s side, knocking him off his balance and down towards the ground. The gun went off as it went clattering across the ground and Ben was immediately on his knees, reaching for it even as the captain struggled to pull himself upright.
“Daddy!”
Snatching the weapon up from where it had come to rest, Ben wasted no time. With a calm, precise manner he cocked it, lifted it in Alex’ direction…and fired.
The bullet struck the guard behind her directly in the shoulder, making him roar with pain as he released Alex from his hold to clutch at his wound.
“Alex! Run!”
The captain cuffed Ben across the back of his head, making him roll back down towards the ground once more. The gun was loose in his grip as the man lunged for it, and they both grappled for control of the weapon.
“No! No, I’m not going to leave y--!”
Ben turned his eyes sharply on her.
“RUN!”
She sobbed and took off running just as the captain managed to pull the gun out of Ben’s hands. The butt of the weapon cracked sharply against the side of his face. The world swirled and blurred around him. A second later and he felt a boot planting itself firmly against his gut in a kick that winded him.
Out of the corner of his half-closed eyes, he could see Alex stop only momentarily to look back over her shoulder towards him, her eyes wide with tears and anguish. Then she was turning, that long black hair of hers flowing around her…and in another second, she’d vanished into the trees.
She was safe.
Above him, Ben could hear the Captain give a harsh snarl and he felt the cold metal of the gun press against his forehead.
Daddy. I love you.
I love you too, Alex.
Bang!