finally starting to understand
for about 3 years now this journal of mine has been riddled with all my banter and questions and realizations regarding love and life.
well.. heres another. this one, however.. well i really think this one is on the right track.
bascially.. its been about a month and a half or so. yes, i miss her in the little ways, but its done, and im not looking back and sulking like the old me was. but in all this time its hard to avoid the thought of it, because, well when youre in love, its easy to relate that feeling to everything around you, ie places, songs, movies. then once youre out of love.. once all those factors continue to pop up, theyre simply going to remind you of that love. it happens, its happening, and well it sucks. but its getting past the reminders- thats where the strength comes from, but more importantly its where the basis for this entry comes from.
for years (i mean all the way back to freakin middle school) all i wanted was a real relationship- someone to love and to love me back. rarely did i enjoy being single.. i didnt know how to. i was just so focused on finding love.
and then i found it.
and then i lost it.
and in the midst of enjoying everything that comes along with being single, and free, and just letting loose- i find myself still seeking love, or something like it from time to time. and ive figured out why!
its the music. and the movies. and as a result of those, the places. those make me want love. portraying the passion that comes with the feeling just makes me want it again. but then when im outside of their effect, that feeling is the last thing i care about. outside of that, all i care about is having fun/getting drunk/getting ass. hey- im a single guy, and hell thats all thats really important to me right now. those 3 things alone have been enough to keep me happy in said time. and love is nothing more than a concept that dicked me over. fuck you love.
pour another.
well.. heres another. this one, however.. well i really think this one is on the right track.
bascially.. its been about a month and a half or so. yes, i miss her in the little ways, but its done, and im not looking back and sulking like the old me was. but in all this time its hard to avoid the thought of it, because, well when youre in love, its easy to relate that feeling to everything around you, ie places, songs, movies. then once youre out of love.. once all those factors continue to pop up, theyre simply going to remind you of that love. it happens, its happening, and well it sucks. but its getting past the reminders- thats where the strength comes from, but more importantly its where the basis for this entry comes from.
for years (i mean all the way back to freakin middle school) all i wanted was a real relationship- someone to love and to love me back. rarely did i enjoy being single.. i didnt know how to. i was just so focused on finding love.
and then i found it.
and then i lost it.
and in the midst of enjoying everything that comes along with being single, and free, and just letting loose- i find myself still seeking love, or something like it from time to time. and ive figured out why!
its the music. and the movies. and as a result of those, the places. those make me want love. portraying the passion that comes with the feeling just makes me want it again. but then when im outside of their effect, that feeling is the last thing i care about. outside of that, all i care about is having fun/getting drunk/getting ass. hey- im a single guy, and hell thats all thats really important to me right now. those 3 things alone have been enough to keep me happy in said time. and love is nothing more than a concept that dicked me over. fuck you love.
pour another.