This isn't really a response to the prompt, but it's James being snarky and Robbie being upset about fellow Geordies. Sort of.
The moment Robbie entered his office, his suspicions were raised.
His sergeant was up to something.
James was behind his desk, together with Gurdip looking at something on the computer. Both young men seemed extremely interested in whatever was on the monitor, though James’ fascination was bordering on horror. When Robbie walked through the doorway, they looked up at him and after a split second James schooled his face into a serious, somewhat thoughtful expression that couldn’t possibly mean anything good.
“Good morning, sir,” he greeted, “There’s something you should see.”
“Morning. What is it, then?” Robbie asked resignedly. It would probably be wiser to refuse, but Robbie couldn’t say no to the bright look in his sergeant’s eyes. Besides, it couldn’t be as bad as last time James had showed him something on the internet. And as James had pointed out - at length, with an absolutely insufferable smirk - Robbie had asked, then. How was he supposed to know that an explanation of such an innocent-sounding thing as Rule Thirty-whatever would entail pictures like that?
“Cultural studies, sir.”
Robbie shook his head, but obligingly took the seat James surrendered to him - noting with growing trepidation that Gurdip took the chance to slink out of the office - and turned his eyes to the screen, seeing a paused video. With unnecessary flourish, James dragged the little dot at the bottom of the video back to the beginning and clicked play, before standing back to watch Robbie with gleeful anticipation.
It was something called “Geordie Shore”.
And it was absolutely unbelievable.
“Do they show this on telly?” he demanded of his sergeant as they were treated to seeing an orange-coloured lad having his arse waxed.
“Oh yes, it’s quite popular,” James replied, apparently trying to look sincere, “Gives people insight into a vital part of our national heritage.”
“National heritage?!” Robbie exclaimed disbelievingly, “It’s... it’s... pornography! Is this for real?”
James tilted his head questioningly. “You don’t think it’s an accurate depiction, sir?”
“James, please tell me this is some kind of joke.”
The grin on James’ face was now big enough to threaten to split his face in two. “Afraid not, sir.”
“What about their parents!?”
“I suspect they’re only happy that their children help in spreading knowledge of Northern culture.”
Robbie gave his sergeant a glare. “There’s still paperwork needs filing from our last case, sergeant,” he threatened before turning back to the screen, unable to look away because of some morbid fascination, “People watch this?”
“Yeah. Like I said, it’s quite popular. There are fansites and all that. Actually, there are pictures I could show you...” James trailed off insinuatingly, making a move to open up a new website. Robbie swatted away his hands.
“Someday, James,” he said, “you’re going to explain to me how you know about these things.”
“Easy, sir. I’ve spent more than five hours on the internet.”
“Sometimes I think this whole internet thing is a really bad idea,” Robbie muttered and then pushed away the chair from the desk and raised his hands, “Turn this thing off. I don’t want to see it.”
“It doesn’t bring back fond memories of your wild youth scouring the clubs of Newcastle? If clubs had come up there back then, of course.”
“You could even pay with money instead of shiny beads. And no, it doesn’t remind me of my ‘wild youth’. Mostly reminds me of my time in vice. They should be arrested the lot of them!”
“I think they have been, at one point or another,” James replied seriously, “Those episodes are probably especially popular.”
“This probably makes me sound like a bitter old man, but this country really is going to the dumps!”
“Oh, it doesn’t make you sound old and bitter, sir. Just old.”
“See? That’s what I’m talking about. Cheeky sergeants with no respect for their elders.”
“Not to be pedantic, sir, but I don’t think you can really disrespect your elder by calling him old.”
Shaking his head again, Robbie rose and walked over to his own desk, pointing to the chair he had vacated. “Work, sergeant!”
Re: Not quite a fillsasha1600May 28 2013, 16:56:10 UTC
LOL! Poor Robbie! I love the comment about being reminded of his time in Vice. And "I don’t think you can really disrespect your elder by calling him old.” *snicker*
Re: Not quite a fillfailte_aoifeMay 31 2013, 15:44:17 UTC
Ahhh...this is great! And it doesn't matter that it's not directly related to the episode. There's snarky Hathaway and Lewis being emarassed by other Geordies so it's perfect :D
The moment Robbie entered his office, his suspicions were raised.
His sergeant was up to something.
James was behind his desk, together with Gurdip looking at something on the computer. Both young men seemed extremely interested in whatever was on the monitor, though James’ fascination was bordering on horror. When Robbie walked through the doorway, they looked up at him and after a split second James schooled his face into a serious, somewhat thoughtful expression that couldn’t possibly mean anything good.
“Good morning, sir,” he greeted, “There’s something you should see.”
“Morning. What is it, then?” Robbie asked resignedly. It would probably be wiser to refuse, but Robbie couldn’t say no to the bright look in his sergeant’s eyes. Besides, it couldn’t be as bad as last time James had showed him something on the internet. And as James had pointed out - at length, with an absolutely insufferable smirk - Robbie had asked, then. How was he supposed to know that an explanation of such an innocent-sounding thing as Rule Thirty-whatever would entail pictures like that?
“Cultural studies, sir.”
Robbie shook his head, but obligingly took the seat James surrendered to him - noting with growing trepidation that Gurdip took the chance to slink out of the office - and turned his eyes to the screen, seeing a paused video. With unnecessary flourish, James dragged the little dot at the bottom of the video back to the beginning and clicked play, before standing back to watch Robbie with gleeful anticipation.
It was something called “Geordie Shore”.
And it was absolutely unbelievable.
“Do they show this on telly?” he demanded of his sergeant as they were treated to seeing an orange-coloured lad having his arse waxed.
“Oh yes, it’s quite popular,” James replied, apparently trying to look sincere, “Gives people insight into a vital part of our national heritage.”
“National heritage?!” Robbie exclaimed disbelievingly, “It’s... it’s... pornography! Is this for real?”
James tilted his head questioningly. “You don’t think it’s an accurate depiction, sir?”
“James, please tell me this is some kind of joke.”
The grin on James’ face was now big enough to threaten to split his face in two. “Afraid not, sir.”
“What about their parents!?”
“I suspect they’re only happy that their children help in spreading knowledge of Northern culture.”
Robbie gave his sergeant a glare. “There’s still paperwork needs filing from our last case, sergeant,” he threatened before turning back to the screen, unable to look away because of some morbid fascination, “People watch this?”
“Yeah. Like I said, it’s quite popular. There are fansites and all that. Actually, there are pictures I could show you...” James trailed off insinuatingly, making a move to open up a new website. Robbie swatted away his hands.
“Someday, James,” he said, “you’re going to explain to me how you know about these things.”
“Easy, sir. I’ve spent more than five hours on the internet.”
“Sometimes I think this whole internet thing is a really bad idea,” Robbie muttered and then pushed away the chair from the desk and raised his hands, “Turn this thing off. I don’t want to see it.”
“It doesn’t bring back fond memories of your wild youth scouring the clubs of Newcastle? If clubs had come up there back then, of course.”
“You could even pay with money instead of shiny beads. And no, it doesn’t remind me of my ‘wild youth’. Mostly reminds me of my time in vice. They should be arrested the lot of them!”
“I think they have been, at one point or another,” James replied seriously, “Those episodes are probably especially popular.”
“This probably makes me sound like a bitter old man, but this country really is going to the dumps!”
“Oh, it doesn’t make you sound old and bitter, sir. Just old.”
“See? That’s what I’m talking about. Cheeky sergeants with no respect for their elders.”
“Not to be pedantic, sir, but I don’t think you can really disrespect your elder by calling him old.”
Shaking his head again, Robbie rose and walked over to his own desk, pointing to the chair he had vacated. “Work, sergeant!”
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