would you please ignore that you found me on your floor?
uh....i'm pretty sure i'm going crazy...
or at least being overtaken by depression...
i called the hospital in town to ask about psyc evals but it's sunday so of course no one is there....hopefully it doesn't cost too much and my insurance will hopefully cover it....but i don't konw how to tell my mom...i don't want her to thing i'm have trouble cause then she just makes it really uncomfortable but since she (thankgod) pays my medical expenses still, she'd see on the bill that i got an eval.... but i think i really want to try medications again because therapy everyother week isn't working for me. there's too long a gap and i manage to stress myself out far too much...
i really don't want to go to work...i just want to sleep the day away....
starting tomorrow i'll be forced to go to the gym mon-thurs, so maybe that'll help with my mood...
i'm also sick of my roommate's complaining about money...she gets it from her parents anyways...her parents are paying her school bill so why is she "stressed about money"? she's only taken out like $2,000....her mom covers the rest so quit fucking complaining....some of us are funding this on our own and have to work...
she says she wants to start being financially independent....so get a fucking job, it's not that hard! people work for money...we may not like it, but we do it...
ugh...
i have like an hour before i gotta get ready to leave for work....
i feel like i'm in some sort of limbo...
i'm like on the verge of insanity but yet i've come too far and learned too much to use my old methods of coping...
but the more you supress it the stronger the urge is...
i just gotta wait till friday for therapy and be honest on the phone....it's hard on the phone though, but i don't wanna go to the counselling here cause they're stupid and i already know too much about myself to start with someone new and explain everything to them....
ugh, i don't know what's wrong with me....i'm just stressed i think and little things are aggitating me more than they should...
i'm jealous of my roommate and the fact that she hardly works, takes 3 classes and hardly ever has homework, her boyfriend and her parents basically buy her what she wants and she still complains to me....that's really getting on my nerves lately...
i need to get back to the east coast...
get out of minnesota....
get a dose of reality...