(no subject)

[losinglisa]

i just got found on myspace by my best friend from high school (who is still my best friend)and i was looking through her friends and found everyone that i was friends with in high school that all moved away. its weird. i was friends with them but i was never really friends with them. i always wanted to be one of those people that everyone likes and wants to be friends with but have come to realize that will never be me. even at the wedding, i was surrounded by people that i know and have been around for years now but i know that im not friends with most of them. if me and kit were to break up, i would never hear from these people again. it makes me sad but at the same time i feel blessed that the people i am friends with are perfect and i kinda think that i would rather have my bestest friends than not have my bestest friends and have a big group of friends that dont care about me as much as my bestest friends do. i dont know if any of this makes sense. but it does to me and i guarantee that my bestest friends understand this.

i still kinda wish that i was like all those other girls that everyone wants to be friends with and dance with and hang out with. hopefully as i get older this will fade because im sick of wanting something that is not meant for me.