Why don't people read their horoscopes often?
That shit is legit.
Last night after posting so early/late in the morning hours, I couldn't go back to sleep because of the burden of this emotions I am feeling as of lately weighed down on my chest and in my diaphram. It consumed me and I couldn't help but break down and cry. I felt horrible, for what? I have no idea. Is it because I miss Chris a whole ton and do wish I had him around even as a friend? And Allahia? I miss her, too. But I'm pretty sure they don't want to have anything to do with me now because of the things of my old self has said to them. One part of me is cold, yet, I melt everytime I'm around people.
It's just so weird to me, ya know? The dreams I had been getting were of Chris getting married to someone else, and thanking me for breaking up with him and letting him see how things were going on between us so he didn't have to go through it again.
Did he really fall out of love with me? Cause if he did, then he was losing feelings for me within the beginning of this year, or the last couple of months leading up to our break up. I want to know what he feels and he decidd he didn't want to take me back even though I never asked him, but curious cause he kept mentioning it two months ago. I lied saying I fell out of love with him, too.
I want him to understand that I never broke up with him because I didn't love him, I broke up with him to make him see if he lost me and if it evoked any emotion, to want to keep moving forward in our relationship together and be happy and start over from scratch. But I had a thought, when I broke up with him that night, he didn't stop me. He wanted this, but it wasn't on his terms, and for that, I am truly sorry and wish he had broken up with me, the right way it should have been. I feel like an asshole, and will always love him, even if I do move on and find someone else. That will never change. He is my soul mate and I still feel linked to him at times. I know he blocks me out cause I can sense it. But I know his life is going to move forward in such an amazing direction, and he will finally have his life that he wants to live. I will miss him dearly, and if we aren't friends, or lovers, I want him to know that I support him and got his back when life gets tough. Cause he is still family to me.
Miss you, love. Happy birthday. <3
Last night after posting so early/late in the morning hours, I couldn't go back to sleep because of the burden of this emotions I am feeling as of lately weighed down on my chest and in my diaphram. It consumed me and I couldn't help but break down and cry. I felt horrible, for what? I have no idea. Is it because I miss Chris a whole ton and do wish I had him around even as a friend? And Allahia? I miss her, too. But I'm pretty sure they don't want to have anything to do with me now because of the things of my old self has said to them. One part of me is cold, yet, I melt everytime I'm around people.
It's just so weird to me, ya know? The dreams I had been getting were of Chris getting married to someone else, and thanking me for breaking up with him and letting him see how things were going on between us so he didn't have to go through it again.
Did he really fall out of love with me? Cause if he did, then he was losing feelings for me within the beginning of this year, or the last couple of months leading up to our break up. I want to know what he feels and he decidd he didn't want to take me back even though I never asked him, but curious cause he kept mentioning it two months ago. I lied saying I fell out of love with him, too.
I want him to understand that I never broke up with him because I didn't love him, I broke up with him to make him see if he lost me and if it evoked any emotion, to want to keep moving forward in our relationship together and be happy and start over from scratch. But I had a thought, when I broke up with him that night, he didn't stop me. He wanted this, but it wasn't on his terms, and for that, I am truly sorry and wish he had broken up with me, the right way it should have been. I feel like an asshole, and will always love him, even if I do move on and find someone else. That will never change. He is my soul mate and I still feel linked to him at times. I know he blocks me out cause I can sense it. But I know his life is going to move forward in such an amazing direction, and he will finally have his life that he wants to live. I will miss him dearly, and if we aren't friends, or lovers, I want him to know that I support him and got his back when life gets tough. Cause he is still family to me.
Miss you, love. Happy birthday. <3