::non opposites::
It has been 20 years today. The photo above is from my second birthday party. It was six days before he died. six days. ive given up on getting over this. ive realized i can make jokes and keep things light because people dont understand that it can still suck sometimes. he didnt get to take off my training wheels, he wasnt at any of my four graduations, he cant visit joe and i in st. louis; there cant be memories of important moments with his face there. fuck drinking and smoking- he was only 33. I didnt dwell today. i acted normal, as normal as i get really. 20 years. how is it possible i still hope he's not gone?
happy birthday mom.