an evaluation
sean and i ate lunch. it wasn't fun, but it wasn't horrible either.
well, he said he'd still like to date me if that was okay in my book. my first gut feeling is to say yes, free food, whoot! but i know myself all too well, and i will still be attached. i am still attached.
he said he wanted to take it slow. fine. that doesn't mean he still can't call me his girlfriend, right? i asked him where he wanted to go, and all he can ever come up with is this b.s. about moving. just let it flow and we'll see how it works when i move, he says.
but i want to know how he feels about me. i care about you very much, he says. yeah, that's nice. but if i knew what he wanted, how he felt exactly, and where he wanted it to go, we could make this work and it would be so much easier to understand. sure we can take it slow all he wants to, but it's not going to hurt to think of how we want all of this to end up. with that, we can work towards a common goal. and that's what i want: cooperation. well, and love. but i know he won't tell me that. i know he feels it, but you have to understand sean. he's not an emotional guy.
yeah i want a guy with emotions. i want a guy that expresses his emotions. but i don't want a whiny ass bitch either. that's my job. ;p sean's not a whiny ass bitch at all, thank god. he's just a stubborn jackass, but atleast he admits it. he's never really treated me bad, not at all. i just would like more. more of an effort maybe, more in general.
am i asking too much?
i miss him already.