(no subject)
Stevie and I got engaged in September on my birthday. He proposed after we did the ghost walk in Jefferson; it was really sweet. I love him so very much. In fact, I can't imagine loving anyone else as much as I love him. We're planning to get married in October near Halloween.
Stephan was finally able to quit his job at Wal-Mart; he found a welding job. I am glad that he's finally working at a job for which he studied, but I constantly worry about him. The job seemed like a really good one at first; he was working 6 AM to 2:30 PM. After a week or so, they changed his schedule to 2:00 PM to 10:30 PM. I wasn't happy about that change since I was looking forward to having evenings and weekends with him, but I adjusted. I still got to talk to him for a few minutes every night before I went to bed; I still got to sleep next to him for a few hours before I went to work. Well, yesterday they changed his schedule yet again. This time, it totally fucked everything up. He's now working 6 PM to 2:30 AM. He should still have weekends off, but this is not guaranteed, since he has had to work every Saturday for the past four or five weeks now. I miss him so fucking much. I guess we're better off than we were when he worked at Wal-Mart since he makes a little more money and we do occasionally get to have a day off together, but it's frustrating. It seems like every time things are going to work out in our favor and we might get to have a little more time together, it gets messed up. If it's not working Saturdays, it's working all night...or, worse yet, working all night AND Saturdays. It makes me so depressed that I almost can't function. The most important thing I have in my life is him, and life is working to separate us. Although it has its benefits, I sometimes really resent this society in which we live. It makes no sense that we can't even have time for each other. How much is it to ask that we both have normal day jobs? Isn't that what it's all about? Working to be able to live better and be happier? This isn't better. If it weren't for having to pay bills, we'd almost be better off with minimum wage jobs where we might at least get to choose which shift and how many hours. I don't know. It doesn't seem fair and it makes me angry. I feel so powerless and I don't know how to change anything. I don't know. I'm sure that I will adjust. It will just take time. Maybe things will get better. I hope we're not stuck working at someone else's mercy forever.
I don't even remember when I last updated. I kinda miss this thing. I needed to vent.
Stephan was finally able to quit his job at Wal-Mart; he found a welding job. I am glad that he's finally working at a job for which he studied, but I constantly worry about him. The job seemed like a really good one at first; he was working 6 AM to 2:30 PM. After a week or so, they changed his schedule to 2:00 PM to 10:30 PM. I wasn't happy about that change since I was looking forward to having evenings and weekends with him, but I adjusted. I still got to talk to him for a few minutes every night before I went to bed; I still got to sleep next to him for a few hours before I went to work. Well, yesterday they changed his schedule yet again. This time, it totally fucked everything up. He's now working 6 PM to 2:30 AM. He should still have weekends off, but this is not guaranteed, since he has had to work every Saturday for the past four or five weeks now. I miss him so fucking much. I guess we're better off than we were when he worked at Wal-Mart since he makes a little more money and we do occasionally get to have a day off together, but it's frustrating. It seems like every time things are going to work out in our favor and we might get to have a little more time together, it gets messed up. If it's not working Saturdays, it's working all night...or, worse yet, working all night AND Saturdays. It makes me so depressed that I almost can't function. The most important thing I have in my life is him, and life is working to separate us. Although it has its benefits, I sometimes really resent this society in which we live. It makes no sense that we can't even have time for each other. How much is it to ask that we both have normal day jobs? Isn't that what it's all about? Working to be able to live better and be happier? This isn't better. If it weren't for having to pay bills, we'd almost be better off with minimum wage jobs where we might at least get to choose which shift and how many hours. I don't know. It doesn't seem fair and it makes me angry. I feel so powerless and I don't know how to change anything. I don't know. I'm sure that I will adjust. It will just take time. Maybe things will get better. I hope we're not stuck working at someone else's mercy forever.
I don't even remember when I last updated. I kinda miss this thing. I needed to vent.