Anyone up for a man's lib. movement?
I felt it was neccessary to post my critique to a myspace bulletin that
listed 20 things girls really want supposedly in my livejournal as
well. The bulletin will be in Black, my Critique will be in Red.
What Girls Really Want!!
1. Don't flirt with other girls. | It makes us feel like we're not good enough for you. We feel like we did something wrong so you are making up for it with another girl.
You ask us not to overreact about you flirting with guys, it's a 2 way street.
2. Even if you're not going out, heck, even if you're not friends, don't say bad stuff about us. | We could be the meanest people in the world to you, but most of the time we're joking and we think you're serious. You haven't seen mean until you say something bad about us. We have evil sides and we're not afraid to use them.
If we're saying something bad about you, it's usually for a reason. If you can't take our responses to your jokes, then you shouldn't make those jokes, we're sensitive as well despite the macho act.
3. We're not toys. | Don't just have your fun with us and drop us. We're serious about things. That's just mean and we'll spend days wondering what we ever did wrong
Ditto to you this too is a 2 way street.
4. Put your arms around our waist firmly but gently, holding us close to you. | If you can, smell our hair! For most girls, we try to succeed in making it smell and look good! Plus, we know you love the smell, why try to sneak around?
Although we don't mention it to you about all the little things you do with your hair, or your makeup or what not, we appreciate it none-the-less. Honestly guys spend 1000 times more time complimenting you than females ever do for guys. Bottom Line. Guys have self esteem that could use a boost here and there as well.
5. If you've done something wrong, fess up. | Tell us before we have to ask you about it. Trust me, when we ask, we'll be twice as angry, and that's just if you tell the truth. We know. We don't guess when we confront you. We have our connections, and we know what's going on. Lie to us and you can pretty much send your death wish.
First and foremost, Guys are bad at hiding. If they haven't told you their secret it's because they aren't ready to tell you about it, thinking of ways to tell you, or maybe they're hoping you hear from someone else so they don't have to. Girls, keeping secrets, not answering questions, saying it's none of our bussiness, makes us extremely suspicisious. We like knowing just as much as you do.
6. When we say we love you, we mean it. | We're not willing to tell just anyone that. Our hearts are gentle and it's very hard to trust guys, and it takes time. Don't worry if you tell us you love us and we don't say it back right away. We do, we're just thinking about how sweet it was that you said it first. And if it takes a day or two, we're not deciding. We're figuring out how we can prove it.
Not really much can be said to this one, other than it makes us worry like no tommorow, to quote seinfeld - "That's one big matsa ball out there" don't consider what we tell you a joke, we mean what we say to. And I also might add it's equally difficult to trust women.
7. If we have guy friends, we love how you hold us close when we talk to them. | We think it's cute when you get all jealous, but don't overdo it. We're not dumb, we're not gonna mess around. We're not flirting, so don't blame us later. Now, if some guy friend of our's is flirting with us, then you have every right to overreact and kick his ass.
If you're talking to a guy friend while you're with your boyfriend, and it's more than a " hey nice to see you again, what've you been doing with your life " type of talk. that gets us worried. We know you hug your guy friends, but when you run around in front of us and hug 10 million guys, we do get jealous although we might not always show it. this is a very 2 way street here, don't flip out on us for talking to one of our female friends if you expect likewise.
8. Anything you'd want us to know about you... know about us, too. We'll memorize every fact. | We'll have our friends quiz us on how many homeruns you had in a season, what your favorite color is... But it's gonna hurt if we know so much about us and all you can say is, "Uhh..." and make a guess.
That is really petty, we're not going to remember for instance " how many measures were in your dance recital " most of us do keep track of the important things, anniversaries, birthdays, favorite flower, candy, chocolate, allergies, favorite movie, song, ect we're not perfect with that sort of stuff.
9. If our eyes are shiny, we're either really happy or we're about to cry. | Look at our smile and the way our face is. Is it the same way it is when you make us laugh? If not, we're going to cry. At that point, if you can tell, turn us so that we're facing you and wrap your arms around us tight so that we feel like nothing could harm us at all while we're there, and stroke our hair. When we cry, often we will bury our heads in your shoulder. If we don't, wipe away our tears. Whisper gently in our ear. Tell us it's okay, even if you don't know what we're crying about.
I can honestly agree with this one.
10. Know that we like it when you tickle us. | It makes us laugh and reminds us that you know that exact spot that makes us cry we're laughing so hard. It's cute.
Same as above
11. Surprise us. | Call before you're at the door, make sure you have good timing. Tell us to look out the window, or open the door. We'll see you and hang up and run to your side. Bring flowers for now reason. Give us candy when we're down, that always works! Show up just to kiss us and see us smile.
I suppose you want us to dress up like James bond and show up in a helicopter car too? we try to do those sort of things every once in a while, but with most things they're underappreciated, thus we stop doing them over time, or less frequently.
12. Show us how much you love us. | That doesn't mean show us how bad you want to have sex. We're not walking beds. (So, in other words, we're not just easy lays walking around.) We love it when you whisper in our ear, or breath on our neck. We like it when you kiss under our jaw down our neck, resting your head on our shoulder. We feel like we're repaying you for every time we rest on you.
That's understandable, I can't speak for every guy but I will speak for myself, sex, or intercourse rather is something that shouldn't be planned, shouldn't be a " has he earned it type thing" or a " have we been dating long enough that my friends don't call me a whore " it's about when you yourself and your partner feel comfortable with the act.
13. We love to look at the stars. | Plan a night to surprise us and don't tell us where you're taking us no matter how much we may beg. Take a picnic dinner, candles, a lighter, plastic glasses and sparkling cider. Don't forget to bring lots and lots of coffee for us! We love that stuff. Bring 3 blankets. One for the ground when we lay on top of you in your arms, one for over the top of both of you, and another that you sneak on top of her during the night, just in case she gets cold. Hold us close and let us look up at the stars in your arms. If we fall asleep, don't wake us up. Stay the night with us right there, and let us use you for a pillow. Get comfortable, but try your hardest not to disturb our sleep, because if we open our eyes we'll tell you to take us home.
I'd like to mention for the first time in my critique of this whole bulletin that this whole thing is practically aiming at a punchline of "hey a guy should do everything and have esp and be sure that we appreciate what he does" Guys need appreication, just as much as females do, we like attention just as much as you, and believe it or not, we're not just in it for the sex.
14. If your friends think it's cool to have sex, it doesn't mean we do. | We have plans for our lives, usually. And if not, we're still not ready to handle that kind of pressure. Being in a relationship is a lot of responsibility itself, and having sex just means you have to be more committed. Wait until we're ready. If you pressure us, we're going to get mad and we might not ever have sex with you. (Another way to put it: We'll dump you, no matter how much it hurts.)
Re-Read ..12's critique, it obviously didn't seep in the first time
15. Sing to us in the quiet. | Even if you're horrible. Especially if you're good. We love to hear you. If you're bad at it, it just shows that you would show us anything, even if it's not the most pleasurable thing you would choose to do. It shows us you're open with us and are willing to do whatever we want. In the quiet it comforts us and reminds us you're there, and it really turns us on, and you're likely to get a kiss.
What is this, " hey Fido do a trick and I'll give you a biscuit? " we'll do what we feel like when we're comfortable provided it doesn't make you uncomfortable. The way this was worded was completely sophomoric, we're not toys for your amusement, just as much as you aren't just a sex toy.
16. Dance with us. | With or without music. Even in the funniest of places. If we announce we love the song, that's your big hint that we want you to ask us to dance. And even if we don't say that, offer anyways. The worst thing we could do is say no.
I have no problems with the whole dancing thing.
17. Don't embarrass us. | If you act immature in front of us, we will scold you like your mother would. We'll chew you out and rip you a new one, telling you exactly how much we never want to be seen with you. If, in fact, you do embarrass us publicly, after we're completely through chewing you out, say you're sorry. Tell us you didn't mean to embarrass us and ask for our forgiveness. Then, once we sigh, put your hands on our shoulders and let them slide to rest on our hips. DON'T try to kiss us. Wait for us to be ready. Who knows how long we'll be angry.
How about you stop worrying so much about how everyone looks upon you, if you do love us you won't be embarressed, and if it is something that is truely terribly embarressing, sit us down outside of public and talk to us. Screaming at us after "embarressing you" is easily comparable to two wrongs don't make a right.
18. Meet our parents right off the bat. | We love it when you include our family. If you get the chance, refuse to go out with us until you meet our parents. Figure out a day when you can come home with us and have dinner with the rents... Be Mr. Polite to the parents. Shake hands with her dad firmly and cooly. Shake her mother's hand first and be gentle. Do remember, she's cooking your food. Smile at them and smile at her afterward. If she has siblings, be Mr. Perfect. They'll love you if you tell them something they don't know. And if you show them how to do something, they'll love you forever. Keep in mind that they look up to her, so if you play your cards right, they'll look up to you, too. If they're older, they're sure to be protective. They might not appear it at first, but they care deeply who their younger sister is with. If it's a brother, be nice and polite and show him without action exactly how much you want to care for her. Prove to her whole family why you should be with her. Ask her dad. Make sure it's alright with him. Then, when you get the okay, kiss her hand and ask her to a date you've previously planned in front of everyone.
Simply put, this isn't the 50's people, this isn't leave it to beaver. Families vary, and in most cases it's not a great idea for a guy to meet the parents, unless he has an outstanding reputation or the Girlfriend in question has said enough good things about the guy for the family to accept him no matter what.
19. Pay for her. | She'd offer to pay for half and even all of it. Don't let her. Call it your treat. Even if you pay every time, it means that we have more money to spend on those little gifts we love to get you. Like those photo albums we love to decorate and put pictures of the two of you together. Those do cost money. And the cologne we get you for Christmas or your birthday? Yah, that's real stuff right there. It ain't cheap!
Don't get me wrong... Most guys are embarressed enough when you do split the bill or even pay for us. We feel like less of a man. We try our best, but blabbing to your friends about paying for dinner here and there rubs it in and hurts our extremely sensitive "manly" ego's
20. Last, but not least and the most important of all, love her. | With all of your heart, love her. Love her like there's no one else out there for you, because as far as you know, there isn't. Don't doubt our unconditional love for you. Kiss us like you've never kissed before. Hold us like no one could fit more perfectly in your arms. Love us like no one could fill that hold that we do any better. Look past the flaws that we constantly point out and even reject them. When we say we look fat or ugly, reject it instantly and remind us how beautiful we are. Point out something about us you love. Think about her before anyone else.
Alright, let me shed some light on this. We know you fish for compliments you say " I'm ugly, or I'm fat" "I look like crap" ect ect ect, we humor you because of the fact that we may just be considered an un-sensitive pig for not telling you you're beautiful every time you say one of those things. Why bother responding to those type of statements if they're obviously not true.
If you think I'm being unjust in any of the things I just said, tell me I'd love to hear the feed-back and have no problem debating/discussing any of the views I express in this entry.
What Girls Really Want!!
1. Don't flirt with other girls. | It makes us feel like we're not good enough for you. We feel like we did something wrong so you are making up for it with another girl.
You ask us not to overreact about you flirting with guys, it's a 2 way street.
2. Even if you're not going out, heck, even if you're not friends, don't say bad stuff about us. | We could be the meanest people in the world to you, but most of the time we're joking and we think you're serious. You haven't seen mean until you say something bad about us. We have evil sides and we're not afraid to use them.
If we're saying something bad about you, it's usually for a reason. If you can't take our responses to your jokes, then you shouldn't make those jokes, we're sensitive as well despite the macho act.
3. We're not toys. | Don't just have your fun with us and drop us. We're serious about things. That's just mean and we'll spend days wondering what we ever did wrong
Ditto to you this too is a 2 way street.
4. Put your arms around our waist firmly but gently, holding us close to you. | If you can, smell our hair! For most girls, we try to succeed in making it smell and look good! Plus, we know you love the smell, why try to sneak around?
Although we don't mention it to you about all the little things you do with your hair, or your makeup or what not, we appreciate it none-the-less. Honestly guys spend 1000 times more time complimenting you than females ever do for guys. Bottom Line. Guys have self esteem that could use a boost here and there as well.
5. If you've done something wrong, fess up. | Tell us before we have to ask you about it. Trust me, when we ask, we'll be twice as angry, and that's just if you tell the truth. We know. We don't guess when we confront you. We have our connections, and we know what's going on. Lie to us and you can pretty much send your death wish.
First and foremost, Guys are bad at hiding. If they haven't told you their secret it's because they aren't ready to tell you about it, thinking of ways to tell you, or maybe they're hoping you hear from someone else so they don't have to. Girls, keeping secrets, not answering questions, saying it's none of our bussiness, makes us extremely suspicisious. We like knowing just as much as you do.
6. When we say we love you, we mean it. | We're not willing to tell just anyone that. Our hearts are gentle and it's very hard to trust guys, and it takes time. Don't worry if you tell us you love us and we don't say it back right away. We do, we're just thinking about how sweet it was that you said it first. And if it takes a day or two, we're not deciding. We're figuring out how we can prove it.
Not really much can be said to this one, other than it makes us worry like no tommorow, to quote seinfeld - "That's one big matsa ball out there" don't consider what we tell you a joke, we mean what we say to. And I also might add it's equally difficult to trust women.
7. If we have guy friends, we love how you hold us close when we talk to them. | We think it's cute when you get all jealous, but don't overdo it. We're not dumb, we're not gonna mess around. We're not flirting, so don't blame us later. Now, if some guy friend of our's is flirting with us, then you have every right to overreact and kick his ass.
If you're talking to a guy friend while you're with your boyfriend, and it's more than a " hey nice to see you again, what've you been doing with your life " type of talk. that gets us worried. We know you hug your guy friends, but when you run around in front of us and hug 10 million guys, we do get jealous although we might not always show it. this is a very 2 way street here, don't flip out on us for talking to one of our female friends if you expect likewise.
8. Anything you'd want us to know about you... know about us, too. We'll memorize every fact. | We'll have our friends quiz us on how many homeruns you had in a season, what your favorite color is... But it's gonna hurt if we know so much about us and all you can say is, "Uhh..." and make a guess.
That is really petty, we're not going to remember for instance " how many measures were in your dance recital " most of us do keep track of the important things, anniversaries, birthdays, favorite flower, candy, chocolate, allergies, favorite movie, song, ect we're not perfect with that sort of stuff.
9. If our eyes are shiny, we're either really happy or we're about to cry. | Look at our smile and the way our face is. Is it the same way it is when you make us laugh? If not, we're going to cry. At that point, if you can tell, turn us so that we're facing you and wrap your arms around us tight so that we feel like nothing could harm us at all while we're there, and stroke our hair. When we cry, often we will bury our heads in your shoulder. If we don't, wipe away our tears. Whisper gently in our ear. Tell us it's okay, even if you don't know what we're crying about.
I can honestly agree with this one.
10. Know that we like it when you tickle us. | It makes us laugh and reminds us that you know that exact spot that makes us cry we're laughing so hard. It's cute.
Same as above
11. Surprise us. | Call before you're at the door, make sure you have good timing. Tell us to look out the window, or open the door. We'll see you and hang up and run to your side. Bring flowers for now reason. Give us candy when we're down, that always works! Show up just to kiss us and see us smile.
I suppose you want us to dress up like James bond and show up in a helicopter car too? we try to do those sort of things every once in a while, but with most things they're underappreciated, thus we stop doing them over time, or less frequently.
12. Show us how much you love us. | That doesn't mean show us how bad you want to have sex. We're not walking beds. (So, in other words, we're not just easy lays walking around.) We love it when you whisper in our ear, or breath on our neck. We like it when you kiss under our jaw down our neck, resting your head on our shoulder. We feel like we're repaying you for every time we rest on you.
That's understandable, I can't speak for every guy but I will speak for myself, sex, or intercourse rather is something that shouldn't be planned, shouldn't be a " has he earned it type thing" or a " have we been dating long enough that my friends don't call me a whore " it's about when you yourself and your partner feel comfortable with the act.
13. We love to look at the stars. | Plan a night to surprise us and don't tell us where you're taking us no matter how much we may beg. Take a picnic dinner, candles, a lighter, plastic glasses and sparkling cider. Don't forget to bring lots and lots of coffee for us! We love that stuff. Bring 3 blankets. One for the ground when we lay on top of you in your arms, one for over the top of both of you, and another that you sneak on top of her during the night, just in case she gets cold. Hold us close and let us look up at the stars in your arms. If we fall asleep, don't wake us up. Stay the night with us right there, and let us use you for a pillow. Get comfortable, but try your hardest not to disturb our sleep, because if we open our eyes we'll tell you to take us home.
I'd like to mention for the first time in my critique of this whole bulletin that this whole thing is practically aiming at a punchline of "hey a guy should do everything and have esp and be sure that we appreciate what he does" Guys need appreication, just as much as females do, we like attention just as much as you, and believe it or not, we're not just in it for the sex.
14. If your friends think it's cool to have sex, it doesn't mean we do. | We have plans for our lives, usually. And if not, we're still not ready to handle that kind of pressure. Being in a relationship is a lot of responsibility itself, and having sex just means you have to be more committed. Wait until we're ready. If you pressure us, we're going to get mad and we might not ever have sex with you. (Another way to put it: We'll dump you, no matter how much it hurts.)
Re-Read ..12's critique, it obviously didn't seep in the first time
15. Sing to us in the quiet. | Even if you're horrible. Especially if you're good. We love to hear you. If you're bad at it, it just shows that you would show us anything, even if it's not the most pleasurable thing you would choose to do. It shows us you're open with us and are willing to do whatever we want. In the quiet it comforts us and reminds us you're there, and it really turns us on, and you're likely to get a kiss.
What is this, " hey Fido do a trick and I'll give you a biscuit? " we'll do what we feel like when we're comfortable provided it doesn't make you uncomfortable. The way this was worded was completely sophomoric, we're not toys for your amusement, just as much as you aren't just a sex toy.
16. Dance with us. | With or without music. Even in the funniest of places. If we announce we love the song, that's your big hint that we want you to ask us to dance. And even if we don't say that, offer anyways. The worst thing we could do is say no.
I have no problems with the whole dancing thing.
17. Don't embarrass us. | If you act immature in front of us, we will scold you like your mother would. We'll chew you out and rip you a new one, telling you exactly how much we never want to be seen with you. If, in fact, you do embarrass us publicly, after we're completely through chewing you out, say you're sorry. Tell us you didn't mean to embarrass us and ask for our forgiveness. Then, once we sigh, put your hands on our shoulders and let them slide to rest on our hips. DON'T try to kiss us. Wait for us to be ready. Who knows how long we'll be angry.
How about you stop worrying so much about how everyone looks upon you, if you do love us you won't be embarressed, and if it is something that is truely terribly embarressing, sit us down outside of public and talk to us. Screaming at us after "embarressing you" is easily comparable to two wrongs don't make a right.
18. Meet our parents right off the bat. | We love it when you include our family. If you get the chance, refuse to go out with us until you meet our parents. Figure out a day when you can come home with us and have dinner with the rents... Be Mr. Polite to the parents. Shake hands with her dad firmly and cooly. Shake her mother's hand first and be gentle. Do remember, she's cooking your food. Smile at them and smile at her afterward. If she has siblings, be Mr. Perfect. They'll love you if you tell them something they don't know. And if you show them how to do something, they'll love you forever. Keep in mind that they look up to her, so if you play your cards right, they'll look up to you, too. If they're older, they're sure to be protective. They might not appear it at first, but they care deeply who their younger sister is with. If it's a brother, be nice and polite and show him without action exactly how much you want to care for her. Prove to her whole family why you should be with her. Ask her dad. Make sure it's alright with him. Then, when you get the okay, kiss her hand and ask her to a date you've previously planned in front of everyone.
Simply put, this isn't the 50's people, this isn't leave it to beaver. Families vary, and in most cases it's not a great idea for a guy to meet the parents, unless he has an outstanding reputation or the Girlfriend in question has said enough good things about the guy for the family to accept him no matter what.
19. Pay for her. | She'd offer to pay for half and even all of it. Don't let her. Call it your treat. Even if you pay every time, it means that we have more money to spend on those little gifts we love to get you. Like those photo albums we love to decorate and put pictures of the two of you together. Those do cost money. And the cologne we get you for Christmas or your birthday? Yah, that's real stuff right there. It ain't cheap!
Don't get me wrong... Most guys are embarressed enough when you do split the bill or even pay for us. We feel like less of a man. We try our best, but blabbing to your friends about paying for dinner here and there rubs it in and hurts our extremely sensitive "manly" ego's
20. Last, but not least and the most important of all, love her. | With all of your heart, love her. Love her like there's no one else out there for you, because as far as you know, there isn't. Don't doubt our unconditional love for you. Kiss us like you've never kissed before. Hold us like no one could fit more perfectly in your arms. Love us like no one could fill that hold that we do any better. Look past the flaws that we constantly point out and even reject them. When we say we look fat or ugly, reject it instantly and remind us how beautiful we are. Point out something about us you love. Think about her before anyone else.
Alright, let me shed some light on this. We know you fish for compliments you say " I'm ugly, or I'm fat" "I look like crap" ect ect ect, we humor you because of the fact that we may just be considered an un-sensitive pig for not telling you you're beautiful every time you say one of those things. Why bother responding to those type of statements if they're obviously not true.
If you think I'm being unjust in any of the things I just said, tell me I'd love to hear the feed-back and have no problem debating/discussing any of the views I express in this entry.