tired
Tonight I had to let the dog out on the chain. Short walk, in fact its only about 10 feet. I chained her up, petted her head and went back the other way. On my left side I saw my old 5 wood by the door. It was rusted and muddy at the head of the club. Without any reason what so ever, I picked it up. I walked to the grassy part just beyond my porch and started to swing; swing effortsley. I couldn’t see me hitting the ground with the club, I didn’t care. Somehow the swoosh sound from the grass made the most soothing sensation. I knew if a ball was there it would be going a mile. My angles were just right and my mechanics were perfect. I felt my swing inside me, its non over powering feeling.
With a sigh I put the 5 wood where it belonged on the messy yet perfect porch. And again, without any reason what so ever, I sat on the chair on my porch. It was so wonderful out. my dog came and laid by my feet. And the stars let out a light blue sensation over the entire world. Suddenly I began to weep for everything. Least of all for the 400$ stolen from my locker. It was a long week, full of disappointment and satisfaction, pleasure and heartache, love and hate (there’s not much difference to all of those). I remembered the slight light coming from the stars. , I hadn’t looked up like I do every time I do let the dog out. Usually I just go back in after that. I began to tilt my head upward which felt like a 10 ton weight. Beautiful; absolute beautiful, the kind of perfection that you only imagine in dreams. This soothed me more then the golf club and I felt that my stars were like a friend that were always there for me. I always had the stars.
I stopped crying and went into deep thought, I missed maura, I missed April. I hated how I liked her so much that month after month I get my heart shattered just to have a chance to be with her, just to talk with her. I hate how I feel like a normal friend with maura when she is my best friend. I hate how I learn from all this and become stronger, I hate how change makes me lose Laura, holly and everyone close to me such a short time ago. I hate how I talk on this vile think called the internet, Which is the soulless thing of communication ever created by man. Most of all I hate how It all ended out this time. This time hurts the most, next to the first time. I missed Julia as well, I missed her love , care and affection. I wept for my April, and how I just wish her the best month after month and how I was so close to talking to her, so close to everything. I wept for my friends, and how much I would do for them and wish them the best in what they do, without me or with me. I wept for change, but with open arms. I looked up into the pale star night one last time and for tonight at least, I went inside.
With a sigh I put the 5 wood where it belonged on the messy yet perfect porch. And again, without any reason what so ever, I sat on the chair on my porch. It was so wonderful out. my dog came and laid by my feet. And the stars let out a light blue sensation over the entire world. Suddenly I began to weep for everything. Least of all for the 400$ stolen from my locker. It was a long week, full of disappointment and satisfaction, pleasure and heartache, love and hate (there’s not much difference to all of those). I remembered the slight light coming from the stars. , I hadn’t looked up like I do every time I do let the dog out. Usually I just go back in after that. I began to tilt my head upward which felt like a 10 ton weight. Beautiful; absolute beautiful, the kind of perfection that you only imagine in dreams. This soothed me more then the golf club and I felt that my stars were like a friend that were always there for me. I always had the stars.
I stopped crying and went into deep thought, I missed maura, I missed April. I hated how I liked her so much that month after month I get my heart shattered just to have a chance to be with her, just to talk with her. I hate how I feel like a normal friend with maura when she is my best friend. I hate how I learn from all this and become stronger, I hate how change makes me lose Laura, holly and everyone close to me such a short time ago. I hate how I talk on this vile think called the internet, Which is the soulless thing of communication ever created by man. Most of all I hate how It all ended out this time. This time hurts the most, next to the first time. I missed Julia as well, I missed her love , care and affection. I wept for my April, and how I just wish her the best month after month and how I was so close to talking to her, so close to everything. I wept for my friends, and how much I would do for them and wish them the best in what they do, without me or with me. I wept for change, but with open arms. I looked up into the pale star night one last time and for tonight at least, I went inside.