Happy belated holidays! Updates anyone? Nice and hot!
Happy holidays to everyone, I hope they were incredibly awesome and/or productive!!!!
I feel really good about 2011. Hi my name is Nikki and I kinda like my life right now. But just kinda. Money issues are still present as I'm trying to economically get my shit together, but eh, thats life. Whats to be excited about are two things:
1. I seem to have had some form of spiritual awakening, because I suddenly have a firm and amazing set of after-life beliefs for myself. So soul +1 my friends!
2. I have choices. For real. Choices. You can go with this, or you can go with that sort of thing. I feel great about all this free time man, seriously, I feel so... new. Lol. even better is the fact that for the first time in a long time, I feel competent in planning my future. I feel steady.
I'm basking in my freedom right now, so productivity has pretty much shut down for the month of December. I still have grad school in mind, but its not the say all. I'm actually leaning towards taking a year off before I go. Maybe two if life gets good =). I want to enjoy being free. I like being able to stay up all hours writing and hanging out, and thinking, and planning. Something clicked in me and life just got easier somehow, and thats always an awesome little thing to happen.
I'm very happy about having a job, I want to get a second one though, while this one is pretty awesum, when those loans kick in I need a way to pay them. Although, if things go right, I won't need to, because Jeremy will be full time and our finances will change for the better. So, things that got fixed?
-My writing. When I started on ym grad school portfolio I ended up starting really strong, my two pieces were solid. But then I hit a brick wall, I couldn't settle on anything or get anything on paper to work. So I took a breather, started working on the paperwork to have an unexpected expense come up and have me not be able to afford application fees. So there I was, at my computer like I am now, finding out that the deadlines are in about a week or so and I don't have money for the fees, and I won't get money in time, and the prospects of me not going to grad school anytime soon. I let that sink in a couple days and then I got back on my compy and checked the DC comics job page to see an open position for an Assistant Editor, which I promptly applied for. And I remembered why I wanted this so badly in the first place. It was never the MFA. It was the work. The words, and images, and dreams, and everything that comes with the turf. And I backed off of grad school, took a breather and started writing again. I went back and started working again on old works I abandoned for new ones. And I felt something in me change.
So, I'm here working on St. Hinoi, and Dreamscapes, and got some pages on that. Then I remembered a story I hadn't finished and touched in a long time, andi went back to it: Prom Night. Started it, never finished it. So I read what I had, and realized that the idea I had been developing for my portfolio was this very thing, but with more savvy and sophistication. Now I KNOW how to put together an idea. A story. So I took Prom Night, and I did for it what I went through, I let it grow up some. So I'm re-working on these things, and I'm happy because I know that there are some people that always look forward to my stuff, and to be able to follow thru on that and feel that charge while writing is solid.
This is different then anything else I've ever gone thru. Its like I sat down and figured out that nothing is ever nothing. Every road ends somewhere right? So might as well just pick one, and if its not working, find a way to hop on another. People adapted themselves to the cruelties of life, even in the wilderness and terrible diseases, there is no reason to fear it now. So never fear kids, the forest isn't that bad, just a little prickly. Wear good shoes made of resilience and good deeds, and you'll be fine (ohhh, that sounded good didn't it?) Anyways, have a happy and bright holidays, and I hope that 2011 is the best year for everyone...