"Oh, stop complaining. At least you can walk unassisted."
have you ever been so out of wack, been in such an awful situation, been so sick of it all that you just yell "STOP!" inside your head and re-evaluate your entire life. i had one of these moments. im studying harder and harder because i need to learn. i need to be great. i've had so many dreams i've given up on that it's sickening but i won't give up on this one. I'm going to be John Duarte, Ph. D. if it kills me.
so i started that study habit. I decded i need to read more books. i'm going to get out and do things i've never done before.
i got my loan application in and my bill for this semester should be paid for. My mom better do that FAFSA or i'll fucking stab her. I found out i was almost a miscarriage and it hit me kinda hard cause it was kept a secret. I realized i have a huge crush on the girl from work, even though i think the girl from sociology is really, really pretty. I'd bet my left nut i saw the most beautiful girl in the universe in best buy the other day, and that shes engaged the the manager everyone thinks is gay. you have to love the irony.
but i felt my whole world change yesterday. do you remember when you were in elementary school when you sat in one room all day for a whole week and the bell rang one friday and you ran outside to smell the warm air? to feel the sunshine? too young to realize the world is a fucked up place and to preoccupied with thoughts of your nintendo and sleeping over your friends' house plaing said nintendo? well we all know that feeling.
i was walking through commuter cafe on the bottom near the windows that look out towards the field and the bell tower in the center of campus. I felt the warmth. i saw the sunshine. and for the first time in a very, very, long time, i got that feeling. It was friday and i finally felt alive again.
God damn, I missed that feeling.
so i started that study habit. I decded i need to read more books. i'm going to get out and do things i've never done before.
i got my loan application in and my bill for this semester should be paid for. My mom better do that FAFSA or i'll fucking stab her. I found out i was almost a miscarriage and it hit me kinda hard cause it was kept a secret. I realized i have a huge crush on the girl from work, even though i think the girl from sociology is really, really pretty. I'd bet my left nut i saw the most beautiful girl in the universe in best buy the other day, and that shes engaged the the manager everyone thinks is gay. you have to love the irony.
but i felt my whole world change yesterday. do you remember when you were in elementary school when you sat in one room all day for a whole week and the bell rang one friday and you ran outside to smell the warm air? to feel the sunshine? too young to realize the world is a fucked up place and to preoccupied with thoughts of your nintendo and sleeping over your friends' house plaing said nintendo? well we all know that feeling.
i was walking through commuter cafe on the bottom near the windows that look out towards the field and the bell tower in the center of campus. I felt the warmth. i saw the sunshine. and for the first time in a very, very, long time, i got that feeling. It was friday and i finally felt alive again.
God damn, I missed that feeling.