(no subject)
meryl brought up a good topic: THINKING.
i have been thinking about what i need to be content now, and what i'll need to be content in the future (as in years from now, decades even). so right now all that seems important (i interpret this through other peoples actions) are having a lot of social circles, a lot of hellos when walking around campus, a lot of options on any given night. or so it seems. but can you remember what you did all those saturday nights last year? i can remember "some parties were cool". in ten years i'll probably forget that "39 florence" was something exciting or that OMG-so-and-so-said-hi-at-breakfast-and-i-thought-he-was-talking-to-some-other-girl-but-it-was-me! i'm not sure how i want to generalize all this into some point, even if i attempt to make a statement i'm sure it won't be coherent. i guess i am just happy that i feel like i have evolved out of that middle-school-esque stage, what is important is that i have fun, because what i'll really remember in 10 years is if i was or was not happy. so if i want to sit and share stories with meryl&sarah any given night, i dont have to feel empty because i didnt flirt with someone at a party who wont know my name in 2 months or didn't get to say hi to a bunch of people who think thats the only word i know. if i want to sleep because i'm tired, so be it. if i want to do homework because i enjoy the book i'm reading, i will. if i want to go to a party because i'm jumping out of my skin, then i'll do it. i just dont feel upset with any decisions i make recently because i act because i want to, i am in charge, etc etc. i dont have to ever feel left out because the close friends i have, the ones that will know me in a decade, consistently are behind me, not to mention usually have the same 'do whatever makes you happy' mindset. i care about them the most, we have invisible rubber bands attaching our bodies. that is whats important. in the future i will be happy if my brain is filled with interesting facts, useful knowledge.. if i can use it to do something productive. i'll probably find this by doing what makes me content.
what?
yeah i dont understand all of that either but whats important is that i am content and i feel like what i'm doing currently will also contribute to my contentness in the coming years. do what makes you happy.
i feel like this is stoner philosophy or something. whatever, i felt like writing.
i have been thinking about what i need to be content now, and what i'll need to be content in the future (as in years from now, decades even). so right now all that seems important (i interpret this through other peoples actions) are having a lot of social circles, a lot of hellos when walking around campus, a lot of options on any given night. or so it seems. but can you remember what you did all those saturday nights last year? i can remember "some parties were cool". in ten years i'll probably forget that "39 florence" was something exciting or that OMG-so-and-so-said-hi-at-breakfast-and-i-thought-he-was-talking-to-some-other-girl-but-it-was-me! i'm not sure how i want to generalize all this into some point, even if i attempt to make a statement i'm sure it won't be coherent. i guess i am just happy that i feel like i have evolved out of that middle-school-esque stage, what is important is that i have fun, because what i'll really remember in 10 years is if i was or was not happy. so if i want to sit and share stories with meryl&sarah any given night, i dont have to feel empty because i didnt flirt with someone at a party who wont know my name in 2 months or didn't get to say hi to a bunch of people who think thats the only word i know. if i want to sleep because i'm tired, so be it. if i want to do homework because i enjoy the book i'm reading, i will. if i want to go to a party because i'm jumping out of my skin, then i'll do it. i just dont feel upset with any decisions i make recently because i act because i want to, i am in charge, etc etc. i dont have to ever feel left out because the close friends i have, the ones that will know me in a decade, consistently are behind me, not to mention usually have the same 'do whatever makes you happy' mindset. i care about them the most, we have invisible rubber bands attaching our bodies. that is whats important. in the future i will be happy if my brain is filled with interesting facts, useful knowledge.. if i can use it to do something productive. i'll probably find this by doing what makes me content.
what?
yeah i dont understand all of that either but whats important is that i am content and i feel like what i'm doing currently will also contribute to my contentness in the coming years. do what makes you happy.
i feel like this is stoner philosophy or something. whatever, i felt like writing.