(no subject)
I'm ridiculously lonely. Friendship can only go so far. Do I love my friends, most of them and most the of time yes. But there's something missing. Something huge, and everyday I just feel more and more lonely. I miss having someone to care about who cared about me as equally. I miss having someone to look forward to seeing. I no longer truly look forward to anything outside of getting drunk. Yeah, it's gotten to that point. I thought I had a new distraction but I don't really. And that sucks. Again getting my hopes up on anything ever working out for me is stupid as nothing ever does. I set myself up for disappointment on a regular basis and I've no one to blame but myself. I remember the days when I had someone I could blame all my problems on and now I don't.
I'm pledging Chi Phi. I like them a lot. And Austin being one of my closest friends at school is nice too. Austin and Kira mean a great deal to me and I don't think they even know, but I love those two so much.
I miss drugs. Alcohol just doesn't take you as far away from reality as I'd like. And it's not as easy to hide :)..My biggest accomplishment in high school and as an actor haha.
At least I'm back to being as screwed up as i remembered I was. It's weird, I've been slightly normal as of late, but I knew it couldn't last that long. I guess without Jessica around I had to put up the normal person front. She's really the only person outside of I guess Ashley that I let see how fucked up I really was but whatev. Stupid high schooler.
I've decided to be friendly with the theatre folk and give them a shot again, and not walk around with a chip on my shoulder. I forgot I actually loved some of them and enjoyed their company.
Hey lance, way to abandon me bitch.
I'm pledging Chi Phi. I like them a lot. And Austin being one of my closest friends at school is nice too. Austin and Kira mean a great deal to me and I don't think they even know, but I love those two so much.
I miss drugs. Alcohol just doesn't take you as far away from reality as I'd like. And it's not as easy to hide :)..My biggest accomplishment in high school and as an actor haha.
At least I'm back to being as screwed up as i remembered I was. It's weird, I've been slightly normal as of late, but I knew it couldn't last that long. I guess without Jessica around I had to put up the normal person front. She's really the only person outside of I guess Ashley that I let see how fucked up I really was but whatev. Stupid high schooler.
I've decided to be friendly with the theatre folk and give them a shot again, and not walk around with a chip on my shoulder. I forgot I actually loved some of them and enjoyed their company.
Hey lance, way to abandon me bitch.